Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

[TheDukester]

Not to mention Becky's "proofing" and "line editing" and "her final blue-line edit" and all of that other shit that TheJacket is always babbling about.

So, in summary: three mental midgets, incapable of producing an interesting story either together or separately.

(I wonder if each book actually gets more boring every time they trade off one of their edits ... )

[Nekhrun]

(I wonder if each book actually gets more boring every time they trade off one of their edits ... )

I suppose it's possible. They get bored with the first drafts and add more 'splosions each time.

[Hunchback Jack]

Lady Jessica stood in her chamber with the familiar packing wardrobe open before her. Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX as a young woman to become the concubine of Duke Leto Atreides. Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.

This is such a nothing paragraph, in any case. It tells us nothing new about past events, it tells us nothing about Jessica. The final sentence, an attempt to elicit empathy from the reader, is a hollow and meaningless statement, not explained or expanded upon in subsequent sentences.

We're not seeing a writer at work here, this is KJA just filling words on a page.

HBJ

[merkin muffley]

I think the five people that went to that writing workshop could bring a lawsuit against Kevin J. Anderson.

EXHIBIT A:

Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.

Someone contact Frank Walden.

[Lundse]

Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX...

Wow. This speculative fiction is really hard; apparently, you have imagine this whole other universe which is different from the one you live in - except that it must of course also have transport authorities and all the other stuff I, the writer/dicthiker, is surrounded by. I'm sure the idiots also imagine Dune as having regular police stations and fire departments...

[lotek]

Lady Jessica stood in her chamber with the familiar packing wardrobe open before her. Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX as a young woman to become the concubine of Duke Leto Atreides. Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.

What they should have written(it might not be great but anything goes after reading that drivel):

The Lady Jessica pondered on her situation, amidst the various tokens and souvenirs her Bene Gesserit training had taught her to be old-fashionned sentimentalism. Leaving Wallach IX and the safety of the School to bind her destiny to the Atreides had been the source of great sadness but it had brought an unexpected reward; love.

[Nekhrun]

I think the five people that went to that writing workshop could bring a lawsuit against Kevin J. Anderson.

EXHIBIT A:

Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.

Someone contact Frank Walden.

You don't get it. Her joy was supreme and the tragedy profound. This tells me that she has experienced such a wide range of joy and tragedy that words can't even truly describe it. If joy was seeing your young Jedi offspring again after they'd been kidnapped for the 10th time and tragedy was a Sun Crusher then Jessica has felt it all. Wow, I feel so connected to her.

[SandChigger]

Lady Jessica stood naked in her chamber with her travel wardrobe open before her, clothing and accessories pulled from it and scattered around the room, as though they had been tossed about by a telekinetic tornado. With Gurney separated from her by 100 parsecs of planets and star systems, what a time to have forgotten to pack the ultravibe!

[Nekhrun]

Now I'm connected!

[dunaddict]

That's just... wrong.

Anyway....

I want to get it finished and go back and do the ones for the Legends books (provided some kind soul out there doesn't take pity on me and just shoot me first! )

Hey, great idea. (not the shooting part) Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum. Only 10 x 100 chapters+epilogues to read, summarize and forget.

[SandChigger]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

[lotek]

jessica
winds of Dune...

queef???


The queef of Dune?

and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!

[Freakzilla]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

[SandChigger]

and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!

Oh stop pussyfooting and farting around about it and just go ahead and type it and get it over with already.

[Hunchback Jack]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

A thread for each chapter of NuDune would probably break the board tho. Better not risk it.

HBJ

[Freakzilla]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

A thread for each chapter of NuDune would probably break the board tho. Better not risk it.

HBJ

I wouldn't do it anyway simply because I don't want to put myself through the torture of reading them again.

I was thinking of maybe doing FH's "Other Books" though.

[lotek]

and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!

Oh stop pussyfooting and farting around about it and just go ahead and type it and get it over with already.

yeah you're right
I'd better get it out...

My official new name for that book I've never read and still feel the urge to criticize:
Jessica to the Queeves of Dune

thanks Chig I feel good now, almost relieved...

[Tleszer]

My official new name for that book I've never read and still feel the urge to criticize:
Jessica to the Queeves of Dune

thanks Chig I feel good now, almost relieved...

Relieved? I feel... violated.

[lotek]

don't worry it only does that the first time around

[Tleszer]

Thanks! I feel so much better now!

[lotek]

told ya

[SandChigger]

Relieved? I feel... violated.

Yeah... but you ALWAYS feel violated.

[dunaddict]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore.

[SadisticCynic]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore.

I suggest a refinement of that strategy.

Select 5 chapters at random. Then reference all other chapters to those 5. That should do it.

[merkin muffley]

Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him!

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore.

I suggest a refinement of that strategy.

Select 5 chapters at random. Then reference all other chapters to those 5. That should do it.

Replace all the verbs with "queef," as in...

Jessica had queefed a great deal since then, had queefed supreme joy and profound tragedy.