Paul of Dune spoilers

Post by **Freakzilla** » 10 Oct 2008 08:05

trang wrote:If I had a shield and a lasgun I would walk out into the desert nearest me, strap the shield around this tome of pain, walk out a safe distance aim in and obliterate it in the cleansing fires of a sudo-atomic explosion!!!!

Sorry to nit pick but that would kill you too, unless you're in the McDuniverse.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 10 Oct 2008 09:54

Trang, please go post that on Amazon. (Maybe hit it with a spellchecker first, though, OK, Big Guy?

)

This got me to thinking: "...if you were to write a book about the jihad, you should write it about the jihad...."

If we ignore the BAD WRITING for a moment, I think a lot of you would agree (because I've seen some of you say so) that we might have been more favorably disposed towards the "efforts" of these two jokers if they had left certain things alone. Like the main characters.

If they really HAD to tell stories in this "Heroes" timeframe, why couldn't they have made them "sidequels" or "paraquels" involving minor characters with the events of the originals in the background. I don't know, the story of some grunt soldier, someone who converts to the new religion and goes off to fight on several planets, say.

I don't have any faith in their (=Kevin's) ability to write even something like that and make it interesting, but I could forgive them more easily for trying something smaller like that than what they have done. It's painfully obvious now that neither Kevin nor Brian has the talent to write someone like Paul-Muad'Dib or Duncan Idaho or Alia. The remaining books in this series are going to be truly painful, culminating in their attempt at Leto II, the God Emperor.

That promises to be excruciating. I don't know if even I will be able to stomach that one.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 10 Oct 2008 11:38

I've started putting together a sort of table of contents for the book on a user page over on Wikipedia.

Just page numbers for the 99 "chapters" with a brief, one line description of what happens in each. (Have only done the last for Part I at the moment; more tomorrow.)

Here's the URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SandChigger/PoDToC

trang · Post by **trang** » 10 Oct 2008 11:49

I'll dust it up a bit and put it on Amazon, dont know how long it will last. I will also spell check it, sorry I try to proof before I post but was in middle of getting kids out the door and didnt get to it.

Also for freak, I will use a half mile distance with a bunker alla little man and fat boy, with a computerized GPS shooting scope:)

Trang

Post by **Freakzilla** » 10 Oct 2008 12:08

trang wrote:Also for freak, I will use a half mile distance with a bunker alla little man and fat boy, with a computerized GPS shooting scope:)

Trang

It's not a matter of distance. The size of the explosion varies unpredictably.

But the shielded target AND the lasgun will explode.

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 10 Oct 2008 12:12

Freakzilla wrote: But the shielded target AND the lasgun will explode.

That is unpredictable too. The starting point of explosion make part of the unexpecting that is the lasgun-shield effect.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 10 Oct 2008 12:41

trang wrote:... dont know how long it will last.

The pattern, as sick as it is, has become clear to me after watching these developments for both Waterworms and Paula of Dune.

1. You'll post a 1-star review;

2. Byron will instruct one of his shills to "complain" about it;

3. It will be removed;

4A. (This is the key) If you write to Amazon customer service to ask where your review is, you will get a ridiculous canned response ("server problems"), but they will eventually reinstate the review.

4B. As long as it follows their guidelines, that is. The biggest thing to remember is that, no matter how tempting it is, you must refrain from any alleged "offensive" language. That will be the first thing they look for, every time.

(The best review I ever wrote — a tour de force of condemnation for Stephen King's absurd Dark Tower VII — was deleted for using the word "crap." One word in like a 1,200-word review.)

Post by **Freakzilla** » 10 Oct 2008 12:53

Lisan Al-Gaib wrote:
Freakzilla wrote: But the shielded target AND the lasgun will explode.
That is unpredictable too. The starting point of explosion make part of the unexpecting that is the lasgun-shield effect.

I'm at work, I'll provide a quote when i get home in a little while.

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 10 Oct 2008 12:57

Freakzilla wrote:
Lisan Al-Gaib wrote:
Freakzilla wrote: But the shielded target AND the lasgun will explode.
That is unpredictable too. The starting point of explosion make part of the unexpecting that is the lasgun-shield effect.
I'm at work, I'll provide a quote when i get home in a little while.

I'm at work too (or I should be

). OK, I'm not saying I'm complete right.

If you dont want to delay the discussion you can PM me with the quote.

DuneFishUK · Post by **DuneFishUK** » 10 Oct 2008 13:33

SandChigger wrote:
DuneFishUK wrote:For example - the big Fenring arc, the only half decent storyline that builds up all through the book, turns out to be a plot to stab Paul. The whole book is just un-inspiring and half-baked.
All of which is needed ONLY to justify the Paolo ghola in Sadworms. Getting Paul's blood on that knife, ...

Wha... wha.. what?! That sounds... great

I thought I might be missing something (so far spared myself the Dune 7s)... but that really does sound like a waste of paper.

trang · Post by **trang** » 10 Oct 2008 16:27

Hell if the beast Rabban in Paul of Dune wont use a lasgun against the Atreides/Ecaz armies, then I wont either, but.....

I will have to break the great convention, and use an atomic instead, time delayed, straped to the book!! PPPPPOOOOOOFFFF, the cleansing fires wash away the tome of pain!

Ill take House Trang and go renegade...

Trang

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 10 Oct 2008 16:29

trang wrote:Ill take House Trang and go renegade...

Hey, it happens. Even Duke Leto considered it ...

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 10 Oct 2008 16:58

TheDukester wrote:
trang wrote:Ill take House Trang and go renegade...
Hey, it happens. Even Duke Leto considered it ...

House Tleszer will join... actually, maybe not. First I need to come up with a better name than "House Tleszer." Maybe "House Bluth." That way, when the atomics go off, every one of us will do the chicken and confuse KJA and BH.

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 10 Oct 2008 17:19

TheDukester wrote:
trang wrote:Ill take House Trang and go renegade...
Hey, it happens. Even Duke Leto considered it ...

House Hasselmann accepting the House Trang's invite to follow him against the infidels!

(WoW, I liked! My surname could be a nice house's name)

Post by **Omphalos** » 10 Oct 2008 17:50

I would like to join House Hasselhoff.

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 10 Oct 2008 18:30

Omphalos wrote:I would like to join House Hasselhoff.

At the Baywatch's planet? hummm, I think I know type of spice they have there...

trang · Post by **trang** » 10 Oct 2008 18:54

Omphalos wrote:I would like to join House Hasselhoff.

I like it:)

House Hasselhoff

Duke David HasselHoff
Bound Concubine-Lady Pamela Anderson
SwordMaster - Tommy Lee
Home Planet - Risa
Main Industry - Ground Transport AI and Pannig red lights
Notible warriors: Hasselhoff German Dodgeball team.
Landsraad Status - House Minor, Loyal to Paul

(Risa - located about ninety light-years from Earth, known for its beauty and relaxing tropical atmosphere. It is a world commonly sought by interstellar vacationers and Highliner crews on shore leave.The planet orbits several stars and its climate is controlled by a weather modification network, with the natural climate being extremely violent. Risians, especially the women, are extremely open and will freely share their planet, and even themselves, with vacationers; a practice known as "Jamaharon")

Quote said most often to swordmaster " is that a sword in your pants or are ya just glad to see me?

Trang

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 10 Oct 2008 20:50

*abandons House Tleszer and joins House Hasselhoff*

Long live the fighters! trang, what's that Sword Master doing with Lady Anderson? Does the Duke know?

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 12 Oct 2008 11:15

Here's another one for the new-books-internal inconsistencies list (and further fuel for Ampoliros' "Kevin writes for the scene only" argument?):

In Sandworms, when Paul is lying there bleeding and recovering his memories after being stabbed in the heart by Paolo:

His past accelerated as it flowed through his mind—overthrowing Shaddam and his empire, launching his own jihad, fighting to keep the human race stable without traveling down that dark path. But he had not been able to escape political struggles, assassination attempts, the exiled Emperor Shaddam's bid for power and the pretender daughter of Feyd-Rautha and Lady Fenring...then Count Fenring himself had tried to kill Paul—

Is that emphasized bit really consistent with what we've now seen in PoD?

Sure, the Fenrings suggest Marie as a candidate for throne-seat-warmer after Paul, but the little bitch doesn't live long enough and I'm not seeing enough of the Anastasia routine overall for her to qualify as a "pretender". Have I been away from the linguistic herd so long that my grasp of the subtleties has dulled?

Something else that occurred to me this evening while watching the Discovery Channel was...what if Margot Fenring is like the queen of most social insects?!

In other words, what if she can mate once and then store the sperm in her body for years and then dole it out to her eggs as they ripen and plop down into the fetid juices of her spayshul place?!

After all, she's a BENE GESSERIT WITCH of the McDuniverse, by GAWD!

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 13 Oct 2008 20:29

Pretending for the moment that we believe that Brian actually writes some of this shit, does anyone doubt that it was Kevin who wrote the scene in the nunnery with the snitty exchanges between Paul and Helena (his grandmother)?

It just has that prissy, something-shoved-up-his-ass Anderson feel about it.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 16 Oct 2008 21:35

In the "chapter" (IV.3, p.248) in which the Grumman assassins stage a night attack on Castle Caladan, before the attack Paul is talking with his room-guest, the young son of Rhombur...Bronso.

I read that without even making the connection: Of Ix.

So once again everyone important in the stories is a relative or childhood friend or confidant or lover of everyone else.

They really can't learn any new tricks, can they?

(With a nod to mmascara [or whatever] over on DN.)

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 16 Oct 2008 21:57

SandChigger wrote:So once again everyone important in the stories is a relative or childhood friend or confidant or lover of everyone else.

It's George Lucas Syndrome: in a galaxy with literally trillions of inhabitants, make sure everyone in your story is somehow related. It's a crutch for lack of story-telling skills.

And, of course, Kevvie hikes out an endless stream of Star Wars crap-vellas, so he's familiar with the idea. Not to mention that he actually thinks Dune is Star Wars ...

DuneFishUK · Post by **DuneFishUK** » 17 Oct 2008 15:07

I don't own the book to check... but I seem to remember they got their shigawire and their Krimskell fibre mixed up at one point?

trang · Post by **trang** » 17 Oct 2008 17:35

Ran across this just a couple minutes ago, BH/KJA at google a 45 minute run on about paul of dune. Im watching in now, will post comments. Im putting the link from KJA's site and the direct link also that way you can find it either way.

http://www.wordfire.com/blog/blog051.html

http://otter.covblogs.com/archives/2008 ... -dune.html

Below link is a heart felt review of dune by a passionate reader, Thought I would share in balance to the above.

http://www.sfsite.com/03b/gd220.htm

Trang

trang · Post by **trang** » 17 Oct 2008 18:29

Hmmm not a whole lot of new here, they must have cards on that podium for their speech. The MC kid in the Blue shirt is a KJA fanboy it appears.

I really would like to see this concordance that brian created, I can only imagine its contents. KJA going on about how he has read the books over and over again (yea right), how his first novel was inspired by FH (Yea Right).

Im still just stunned that people who have read POD (not here of course) make any connection to the original books at all. POD is complete shite, it doesnt transition Paul at all, it is back fill for their version of Paul.

I'm going to have to watch this again to really disect it, and Id really like to take a trip to Cal state fullerton to see whats there.

Interesting stuff I guess,

Trang