Paul of Dune spoilers

inhuien · Post by **inhuien** » 29 Sep 2008 03:21

shucks I knows that, I wasa just teasein' ya

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 29 Sep 2008 03:34

OH GAWD SWEET JAYZUS MY EYES!!!

I finally stumbled across the Fenring/Margot sex scene.

OH NASTY OH SHIT OH GAWD OH NO OH OH OH!!!

I don't know how I managed to miss it this long...just lucky, I guess.

But I REALLY want to know who wrote it. I have my suspicions.

I don't want to spoil it for you...OH HELL, SURE I DO: Fenring climaxes while remembering the teen boy he knifed to death (his first murder) AT AGE FOUR after the teen tried to molest him.

I feel dirty. Reading this shit makes me feel dirty. Bad bad bad bad bad.

inhuien · Post by **inhuien** » 29 Sep 2008 04:07

SandChigger old bean you're never going to feel clean again.

trang · Post by **trang** » 29 Sep 2008 06:57

Funny, I just passed thru that section this morning at work (having a slower go at this book than I want to going to try and knock it out today)

Its Pages 211-213 for those who care. You forgot to mention in their passion they missed their super daughter Marie sitting quitely (using her super spie skills at 6 years old) "observing them". Followed by the lovely statement that her parents are fun to watch.

Profound literature at its best!!!! Adults phornicating will one dreams of his first murder because of an attempted molestation, while their own six year old watchs.

GOD EMPEROR SAVE US!!!

Trang

Mr. Teg · Post by **Mr. Teg** » 29 Sep 2008 08:19

trang wrote:Funny, I just passed thru that section this morning at work (having a slower go at this book than I want to going to try and knock it out today)

Its Pages 211-213 for those who care. You forgot to mention in their passion they missed their super daughter Marie sitting quitely (using her super spie skills at 6 years old) "observing them". Followed by the lovely statement that her parents are fun to watch.

Profound literature at its best!!!! Adults phornicating will one dreams of his first murder because of an attempted molestation, while their own six year old watchs.

GOD EMPEROR SAVE US!!!

Trang

Who thought the boy scouts was just a joke?!

Serkanner · Post by **Serkanner** » 29 Sep 2008 08:56

That most be the worst piece of prose ever written. I am so glad Byron thinks this is their best work so far ... must be an acquired taste.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 29 Sep 2008 10:42

The two longer excerpts that were posted ... all of the passages that have been posted by various private parties ... some stuff I've come across on my own ... add it all up and I'm beginning to believe that this this is the worst book ever written in the English language.

Not the worst Dune book. Not the worst SF book. The worst book ever.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 29 Sep 2008 11:31

Yeah, that's where Marie uses BG-Klingon Cloak Power.

Ugh, Frank Herbert mentions sorceress' with real powers in one sentence and KJA milks it to bring in Jedis and Super Babies. Ever heard of FUCKING ALLEGORY?!?! Or the idea that strange new technology is interpreted as magic? No, you haven't because the only Sci-Fi you've ever read with any care is your own droppings.

Don't forget SC, Fenring wasn't even suspected of the crime. Because "the molester's tastes were well known.". Edit: Oops my bad, they say the molester's tastes were not known. Still I think it would be easy for forensics to determine that it was a child who did it.

He wasn't suspected? How does that work? The criminal is known for molesting small boys, hence no small boy could possibly be a suspect. Especially the one who likes to play with knives and is covered in blood.

Man, its way too dangerous to have kids in Dune. Maybe that's what the Golden Path was all about.

Oh, and Dukester has it hit right on the money. I haven't read Sandworms yet, but It can't be worse than this. Maybe tied.

Post by **Freakzilla** » 29 Sep 2008 11:52

Ampoliros wrote:...No, you haven't because the only Sci-Fi you've ever read with any care is your own droppings.

I question even that.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 29 Sep 2008 11:56

I honestly feel this will prove to be a scene that can be mined for infinite treasures.

(You KNOW it was written by Kevin based on real life. Poor 'Becca.)

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » 29 Sep 2008 22:32

inhuien wrote:shucks I knows that, I wasa just teasein' ya

I will have my revenge !!

But not this week...Keeping my energy for the Palin-Biden debate...

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 29 Sep 2008 22:37

Biden your time, in other words?

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » 29 Sep 2008 22:38

SandChigger wrote:I honestly feel this will prove to be a scene that can be mined for infinite treasures.

(You KNOW it was written by Kevin based on real life. Poor 'Becca.)

Poor Becca's child who was watching !!

This scene puts back in perspective the one with Erasmus watching Gilbertus take a shower...what kind of sick people keeps putting children in those scenes ?!

SimonH · Post by **SimonH** » 29 Sep 2008 22:48

SandChigger wrote:
...snip...

I don't want to spoil it for you...OH HELL, SURE I DO: Fenring climaxes while remembering the teen boy he knifed to death (his first murder) AT AGE FOUR after the teen tried to molest him.

I feel dirty. Reading this shit makes me feel dirty. Bad bad bad bad bad.

is this another 'chigger-fiction?

If not, this is unnecessarily gross. I don't mind full on stuff in the correct context. This is not the case IMO. One of the authors may have some sexual issues I think...

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » 29 Sep 2008 22:53

SandChigger wrote:Biden your time, in other words?

Palin with anticipation

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 30 Sep 2008 02:32

No, SimonH, no more chiggerfick for now, trust me.

It's unnecessarily gross, just as the whole thing is unnecessary. (sigh)

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 30 Sep 2008 03:19

Here, how's this (from "Chapter" 10 of Part III):

As soon as he was confident that the Tleilaxu spy-eyes were deactivated, he and Margot disrobed, gazing on each other in the warm light of golden glowpanels. She led him to the bed, and the two of them began to demonstrate their proficiency in an ever-increasing repertoire of pleasuring skills. Over four decades, Fenring was continually amazed at how much he had learned and how many techniques he had yet to try.

"Ah, my dear, you are always a wonder to me." As they lay on the bed, he kissed her tenderly. She worked the gentlest touch of her fingertips along his ear, creating an invisible embroidery of fired neurons in his skin. He shuddered.

"We are well suited to each other," she agreed.

...

As he made love to her, Fenring fantasized, but not about other women. He remembered the feel of warm blood on his fingers, the careful selection of proper tools of his trade. If he had enough safe time after performing his wet work, he rather enjoyed gazing upon the rich burgundy color of his victim's life essence, the way it gushed from the body and pooled and sparkled in the smallest light, as if trying to recapture life, but then stopped and coagulated and hardened. Even Shaddam did not know how many people Fenring had killed.

The first of his murders had occurred at a much younger age than the Corrino patriarch realized, when Fenring was only four. Four! He was proud of this accomplishment, because it meant that even at a young age he was able to identify enemies. The teenage yard boy he'd stabbed had deserved it anyway, because the older boy had tried to molest him. Even as a child, Fenring had seen through the tricky words and promises and had plunged a pocket knife deep into the aggressor's abdomen. His willpower always made up for any mismatch in physical strength between himself and his opponent. Young Hasimir had inflicted a hundred wounds on his victim's body before getting his fill. Because the teenager had been furtive about his abnormal sexual activities, no one had ever suspected the four-year-old.

He sighed now, feeling the thrill of remembrance. Margot held him, adjusting het own movements to his, expertly controlling her own body so that they climaxed simultaneously and thunderously.

My GAWD...I wish I could remember the last time I "climaxed...thunderously"!

Here's the really nasty bit:

"How long have you been there?" Fenring demanded.

"I was watching. I was learning. You are both very interesting."

Fenring had never been particularly prudish, and Lady Margot certainly wasn't, but the idea of their daughter simply observing during their lovemaking both disoriented and embarrassed him. In a very real sense, it was much worse than the inquisitive eyes of the Tleilaxu.

"You must leam to respect the boundaries of privacy," her mother said.

"That is not what you've taught me. You trained me to be invisible, so that I could spy. Did I not do a good job?"

Lady Margot didn't quite know what to say. At last, Fenring chuckled. For countless centuries, children had been wandering in upon their parents having sex, but it should be accidental. Not a planned thing.

"Yes, you have learned well, Marie," he said wryly. "You have certainly taught us to be more careful."

(Countless centuries? Try millennia. They really don't handle this scale stuff very well do they?

)

leagued · Post by **leagued** » 30 Sep 2008 04:53

I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Fenring, the little we get of him in Dune, was a cool character. Transforming him into a straightforward psychopath is disgusting.

Serkanner · Post by **Serkanner** » 30 Sep 2008 05:43

I really don't know what to say. I have never ever read anything this bad ... I really haven't. What on Earth have they done to the publisher to "persuade" him or her to publish this?

trang · Post by **trang** » 30 Sep 2008 06:53

Pointless pages, part 1.

pages 245-247, this is a complete "chapter":

It opens with the baron and piter riding a sideway near harko city on Geidi Prime. The are headed to a meeting with feyd and rabban.

they notice that a statue of the baron in the park has bird droppings on it. So the whole dialogue switchs to discussing what to do, kill the maintenance man for allowing it to happen, or killing him and his boss. The descriptions are typical bloody nosensical gor from the book.

the point to the pages is to tell us that they are waiting for a message about the results of the attack on LETO and Archduke of Ecaz at the wedding. They also discuss the backup hitman they have in case the 1st plan didnt succeed.

This could have been summed up in about a paragraph, instead of adding 3 extra pages.

Just 1 of many I will add that are wastes of time.

Trang.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 30 Sep 2008 13:14

I didn't notice that it was a yard boy. On what, the Fenring estate? He stabbed him repeatedly with a pocket knife? I don't know about you, but willpower is not enough for a 4 year old boy to kill a teenager with a pocket knife. Stabbing someone in the abdomen with a 2 inch blade does not disable them enough for them to not kick your ass when they have twice your height and mass.

Ugh why do I bother attempting to adapt Logic to KJA.

As for the love 'sex' scene I read it out loud to a couple of women I work with. They had pretty much the same reaction I did. One of them joked that thats how you write about sex when its obvious your a virgin.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 30 Sep 2008 13:20

trang wrote:Pointless pages, part 1.

pages 245-247, this is a complete "chapter":

It opens with the baron and piter riding a sideway near harko city on Geidi Prime. The are headed to a meeting with feyd and rabban.

they notice that a statue of the baron in the park has bird droppings on it. So the whole dialogue switchs to discussing what to do, kill the maintenance man for allowing it to happen, or killing him and his boss. The descriptions are typical bloody nosensical gor from the book.

the point to the pages is to tell us that they are waiting for a message about the results of the attack on LETO and Archduke of Ecaz at the wedding. They also discuss the backup hitman they have in case the 1st plan didnt succeed.

This could have been summed up in about a paragraph, instead of adding 3 extra pages.

Just 1 of many I will add that are wastes of time.

Trang.

Sigh. The Baron in this case would have pulled a Pseudo-Vader. He would have executed the Boss and promoted the Maintenance man, all the while explaining that it was the Boss's lack of ability that caused the incident. Now all the maintenance men would have the fear of retribution, and the new Boss would know that if any of them screwed up on the job, his neck would be on the line for someone else's mistake.

This is of course if Baron Harkonnen was dumb enough to execute someone for such a small thing. He isn't. He'd send them a memo, or send a guard to rough them up for 'no reason'. He doesn't mindlessly kill his subordinates.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 30 Sep 2008 13:51

Are you suggesting that one or both of them has named their 'worm' "Monarch"?

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 30 Sep 2008 14:32

Ampoliros wrote: As for the love 'sex' scene I read it out loud to a couple of women I work with. They had pretty much the same reaction I did. One of them joked that thats how you write about sex when its obvious your a virgin.

That was the funniest thing I read today! Thanks, guys!

How they built up courage to write something like that? Maybe KJA and all HPL are brave people trying to throw in the garbage all what we know as literature.

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » 30 Sep 2008 14:42

Seraphan wrote:
SandChigger wrote:Not a spoiler...just rotten:

Oh...my...god! That's the second most pathetic thing i've ever seen!
Can't wait for GamePlayer to make a demotivator out of this

I don't know how the hell I missed this one. He might as well be wearing a shirt that says "Never fuck the person wearing this shirt"