Smellhole Notes.

[Robspierre]

thankee ... i can haz linx to goodread review ? can post comments w/o account ?
hates register, hates ... i give email for spam, u let me comment, yes ?

Pretties review....http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/159849659

Review is precious yes???????


Rob

[SandChigger]

Lolcats meet Suzy Wong... THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

[Robspierre]

Amp, just letting you know I've posted some of your stuff from this thread in the Craft of Writing 490 Thread as a guest lecturer. Feel free to post any of your thoughts on writing in that thread.

Rob

[Ampoliros]

Sweet! Careful though, I get stage fright...well except when I'm ranting...



Kinda obvious who cares about signing a book and who's just there to get er' done.

[Kojiro]

What the fuck is that scribble on the bottom? That's a "signature," Kevin?

[Ampoliros]

well hey, Brian only does the West Coast. KJA has to sign the whole country! His wrist gets tired!

[Tleszer]

What a douchenet. He might as well just "sign" a sticker and just make copies of the sticker to put in the books. Well, we all know that it's about quantity, not quality, with tehKJAcket.

[Kojiro]

On the flip side, I do like the care Brian took to pen out his name. It implies that there's some amount of decency hiding somewhere inside of him.

[Robspierre]

Some of the signatures from my tiny collection, all them legible.

Jack Williamson




Bill Patterson the Heinlein biographer.
Bill dedicated and signed self sticking labels for fans who could not get to him to get their copy signed.


William Gibson. I also have my copy of Idoru signed by him.


Rob

[Omphalos]

What a douchenet. He might as well just "sign" a sticker and just make copies of the sticker to put in the books. Well, we all know that it's about quantity, not quality, with tehKJAcket.

What KJA needs is a nice self-inking stamp with adjustable date.

[Freakzilla]

What a douchenet. He might as well just "sign" a sticker and just make copies of the sticker to put in the books. Well, we all know that it's about quantity, not quality, with tehKJAcket.

What KJA needs is a nice self-inking stamp with adjustable date.

I've got one at my office.

[Robspierre]

I did a search at Biblio.com for signed books by KJA, you can get them for as little as $10.99!


Rob

[SandChigger]

Who would want to pay even that much?

Fuck... even when he writes, he can't write!

[D Pope]

The secret behind dictahiking revealed!

[Ampoliros]

That's exactly what it looks like in my signed copy of Winds of Dune, which I paid 4.98 for.

[A Thing of Eternity]

I guess signatures are like that sometimes, not legible is pretty common - but there's a difference between signing a cheque and signing an autograph, the general convention is to alter your signature in a way so as to make it at least somewhat understandable...

[Ampoliros]

You know... It's...

Well...

So I'm reading the "deleted scene" from Hellhole.

I just...

Yeah.

What the Fuck?

I...yeah.



stay tuned...

[SandChigger]

Well, two sources of that crap (wow... stinky much, what?) are quite obvious:

- The flesh-eating beetles are from Hamunaptra. No question. Also can be read as a return of the piranha mites.

- And this...

Outside,  people  ran  screaming,  unable  to  shake  their  tormentors.    One  man  
fell,  his  entire  body  a  writhing,  black  silhouette.    Other  victims,  completely  
enveloped  by  the  flying  bugs,  were  caught  up  in  a  cyclonelike  swirl.    Through  
the  dusty  windscreen  of  the  Trakmaster,  Lujah  watched  in  horror  as  a  blanket  of  
the  predatory  insects  lifted  the  stocky  female  driver  of  the  lead  vehicle.    They  
carried  her  off  the  ground  and  stripped  the  flesh  off  her  bones  in  midair.

... tells us that Kevin has seen Pitch Black.

Wow... such creative originality.

[Ampoliros]

I loved the bus full of tourists and the littered campsite myself; that or camping outside in flimsy tents after a static storm where they had to stay in the armored trakmaster.

Yeah"poignant" story my ass...

We felt the exploration and adventure was a poignant story that demonstrated the challenges of life on the planet
Hellhole. Their tragic fate highlighted very real dangers of this place and served as an
object lesson to other colonists who chosd not to abide by the General’s wise rules...Besides, not knowing what really
happened to the Children of Amadin enhances the mystery.

Here's what I noticed, Kevin.

-No description of their religion, at all. They wear uniforms and prey and follow the Leader. A real creative mind would come up with at least something, one thing, ANYTHING, to describe their actual beliefs, even if its such a minor point about characters who die and their entire purpose is to die. Oh, okay there is one line of scripture "Listen 100 times before you speak." Yeah how about this Kevin, Read Dune More Than Once Before You Attempt to Write it. Heck, try this on: TURN OFF THE DVD PLAYER WHEN YOU 'EDIT'.

-Hellhole didn't kill them. Beetles didn't kill them. YOU killed them, by writing characters so amazingly idiotic that they willing drive into hell.

Some 'highlights':
"Close by, the other vehicles skidded, collision-­‐‑avoidance sensors keeping them from crashing into each other"
-So....not the drivers then.

"The seismic upheaval knocked some of the lava boulders that had been piled up in incomprehensible defensive formations."
-what? no, seriously, WHAT?

"A quake . . . a Hellquake."

or ? Can't decide. Both.

"With well-­‐‑practiced efficiency, the Children of Amadin erected prefab structures, sleep shelters, and communal awnings."

-next to the lava flows, right after the (man I can't even type it) quake. One of the vehicles was disabled during the...quake so they figure they should stop here before it gets worse.

"What had that inhuman race been like? Had they seen their end coming? What sort of
messages, or warnings, might they have left behind?
Most importantly, had they believed in Amadin?"

Yeah I'm gonna guess its no. And if it was yes, Amadin did a shit job of taking care of them, so you might want to rethink your faith.

[Sev]

So, just about the only part of the whole book where Hellhole is actually shown to be a dangerous place on which to live, and the two jackasses cut it out - it figures...

[Ampoliros]

No, they still camp next to lava in tents, right after one of their vehicles was damaged by a smell-quake. So the harsh scenery of Hellhole is even more of a greenscreen in this scene: the thing that kills them are the beetles.

[Freakzilla]

It's about time The Beatles killed someone.

[SandChigger]

Didn't three of them go in on a hitman with that Japanese bint and knock off the other?

Oh, wait, wrong thread...

[Kojiro]

Well, two sources of that crap (wow... stinky much, what?) are quite obvious:

- The flesh-eating beetles are from Hamunaptra. No question. Also can be read as a return of the piranha mites.

- And this...

Outside,  people  ran  screaming,  unable  to  shake  their  tormentors.    One  man  
fell,  his  entire  body  a  writhing,  black  silhouette.    Other  victims,  completely  
enveloped  by  the  flying  bugs,  were  caught  up  in  a  cyclonelike  swirl.    Through  
the  dusty  windscreen  of  the  Trakmaster,  Lujah  watched  in  horror  as  a  blanket  of  
the  predatory  insects  lifted  the  stocky  female  driver  of  the  lead  vehicle.    They  
carried  her  off  the  ground  and  stripped  the  flesh  off  her  bones  in  midair.

... tells us that Kevin has seen Pitch Black.

.....

No, no, no... I won't let Kevin ruin that movie for me. Nor will I allow him to ruin Claudia Black for me.

[Ampoliros]

Claudia Black? What does she have to do with KJA?

Do You mean Superstars Graduate Claudia Christian?

(I have a beautiful lesbian friend that looks like her (Pre-botox too). The gods enjoy taunting me.)