Keith J. Hackerson's DUNE BLOG / tehKJA's Blahg(kjablog.com)

[TheDukester]

Very nice!

If no one minds, I'll just add a couple of thoughts on my favorite passages:

The first novel, DUNE: HOUSE ATREIDES became a #1 international bestseller and was voted "Book of the Year" by the members of the Science Fiction Book Club by the largest margin in the history of the award.

I call bullshit on the made-up statistic. And, even if it's not made-up, is TheKJA really saying that he's checked back every year to make sure it's still the "largest margin"? Of course he hasn't.

All of the subsequent DUNE novels have also been bestsellers, each one peaking even higher on the lists ...

This is actually demonstrably untrue. It is, in fact, a flat-out lie, and Keith knows it. Without even double-checking, I know that Sandworms > Paul > Winds, in terms of NYT ranking.

So, on top of everything else — including being a swollen asshole — Kevin J. Anderson is a liar.

Practically unheard-of in the field, Anderson released all seven large volumes on time, year after year, and he completed the series with Book #7.

I actually agree with this. The most positive thing that anyone with a working brain could ever say about Saga of the Silly Suns is that they were on time. Beyond that, it's all negative.

Anderson's STAR WARS "Jedi Academy" books were the three top-selling SF novels of 1994.

To quote a great line from Heartbreak Ridge: "Ancient fucking history."

... are the best-selling science fiction anthologies of all time.

So, you were the editor for other people's writing? And you think that that helped sell a single copy of any of those books? That's just truly delusional, Kevin. Seriously.

This is my personal favourite.

Mine, too. Only TheKJA would be egomaniacal enough to still claim that as a credit after Koontz publicly emasculated him last year.

I call bullshit. This sounds *so* much like myth-building I can't even tell you.

Doesn't it? I'll bet that story has really morphed over years. Finally, we get, "Oh, Becky! I'll say 'Kevin chose the typewriter'! That's awesome!' "

[SandRider]

I know I'm being petty, smarmy and obvious, but dammit, this is such a self-serving, noxious pile of crap.

which is exactly what I'm looking for when I repost Keith's Blahgs&Twits ....
(and thank you for pointing out the (very) old info on the "new & twinkly" blahgsite ... masterful editing & proofreading skills has TheKJA)

Jack get cookie :

[Hunchback Jack]

Thanks, SR. My very first cookie!

HBJ

[SandRider]

don't get crumbs on the rug ... it's my week to vacuum the sietch ...

[SandChigger]

Kevvy has posted a new blahg with OODLES of pix of mountain tops. And a mountain goat or two he and a friend "got close to".

I did make it to the top, only six feet shy of 14,000 ft and had my lunch while the snow-climbers also arrived at the summit—a good opportunity to have my photo taken at the top (since I frequently climb alone, I don’t always get a summit shot).

We'll settle for headshots, sugar.

Because I’m in between novels right now, I used the opportunity of this hike to write a new science fiction short story, tentatively titled “A Delicate Balance.” I rarely do short stories anymore, but I’ve had this one in mind for a while. I’ll edit it in between other projects.

Once someone else types it, he'll edit it, he means.

On the way home, we picked up Thai food for Rebecca and Rayna (who had spent a relaxing day at home), and we stopped at the Golden City Brewery, one of my favorite small breweries in Colorado, to fill up the growler with an excellent IPA.

Food & Beer. No blahg post complete without them.

Now, once you have gotten your hack accustomed to the idea of posting pix to prove he does what he claims (at least sometimes), apply pressure to get him to post a sound file of a past dictahiking session.

OK, Kevvy, let's hear it!

(Oh, and condolences to Kevin for not winning the prestigious Colorado Book Awards with his shit fantasy crap, The Edge of the World. But the winner is one of his friends, so at least he still got name-drop value.)

[TheDukester]

Because I’m in between novels right now ...

"Because it's clear that my hiked-out crap doesn't sell, publishers are no longer beating down my door ..."

[merkin muffley]

Now, once you have gotten your hack accustomed to the idea of posting pix to prove he does what he claims (at least sometimes), apply pressure to get him to post a sound file of a past dictahiking session.

OK, Kevvy, let's hear it!

That would be glorious. Someone should start a petition at KJASF. Always show your workings, Kevin, you cannot keep that kind of genius comedy material from the world! It would reveal so much about the process behind the new books because we'll find out he fell on his head in the middle of dictating Paul of Dune.

[SandChigger]

Although I'm sure he will deny it, I'd bet he keeps every sound file and edit draft.

You know he has to keep a copy of the sound files, at least until the typist sends back the transcript. Otherwise how could he berate her for making mistakes, if he has no proof to back up his bitching? ("Listen, you stupid bat, I'm obviously saying 'Gurney copped a feel' and NOT 'Gurney Copperfield'!")

And you just know he's always got his memoirs and The Kevin J. Anderson Memorial Writers Library & Museum floating around in the back of his mind.

[SandRider]

I had a good snort when those pics came thru ...

Spanky does read The SandChigger !
he does, he really does !!

(Hi, Keith ! You suck.)

[SandChigger]

If you're bored and want a cheap giggle, KJA has done something to fuck up his blog's layout again!

http://kjablog.com/?p=875" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

(The third column, with Recent Posts, Archives, and Administration, should be at the top of the screen, parallel with the left column and main, middle column.)

[lotek]

I see it still is a right mess



But this is my favourite part, it three short sentences we get a scary gilmpse of his inner thoughts

i write
first we know that's not true, he's boasted about his daring editing technique enough to allow us calling this a lie.

i make up stuff
1) yeah we know you are full of crap
2) what is "stuff"? Poor choice of word for a "writer"... "i make up stuff" in my book means you're more a liar than a storyteller. Anyone telling porkpies "makes up stuff"; does that make them writers? I think not!

i adventure hard
I'm sure you do Keith, I'm sure you do... but I know I don't when I read the stuff you make up

so you don't have to
that sounds so much like "i make up stuff so you don't have to think" that it is kind of scary...

So two things to conclude


A) the first statement is a lie(he doesn't write he dictahikes), the second one is a covert admission that he's a liar, and the third one is so ridiculous no one would believe that(and it doesn't make any sense as we know what a pansy he is, someone who's scared to talk to a Walmart employee does not know the meaning of adventure)

B) the small matter of the word "i" not being capitalized... (I know I got called out for this one on another thread though)
It does show the man is not a "writer"(of words), he just blabbers in his microphone and just doesn't realize the importance of being precise when you fancy yourself a writer. I think it is very revealing that he'd skip such an easy thing to do to make things right, just think of other occurrences in storylines or sentence structure that are far more difficult to correct than just holding a SHIFT key for a split second... now you can weep...

[Serkanner]

I also see the list of categories is also still screwed up.

[SandRider]

also, Grand Master Plagiarist ....

"we work hard so you don't have to" has been the "scrubbing bubbles" toliet bowl cleaner's
slogan for about 30 years or more ....

and I can't call "hiking" the minor grades around the Denver area to be "adventuring" ....

I'd like to take Spanky on a week-long hardcore encampment in the Louisiana swamps;
hardtack and chicory coffee, sleeping rolled up in a blanket (if you've got one) in the mud
for a few hours a night, being rousted awake at 2am for a forced march and a skirmish at
dawn .... more marching and counter marching .... I'd bet dollars to doughnuts Keith couldn't
shoulder a '62 Springfield, much less quick march and fight with it ....

hell, I'd make Spanky cry spending one afternoon on the ranch chasing black angus cattle
thru the mesquite .... I'd make Spanky cry spending an hour in my garden ...

[lotek]

"we work hard so you don't have to" has been the "scrubbing bubbles" toliet bowl cleaner's
slogan for about 30 years or more ....

a real and heartfelt !!!

How bloody fitting and ironic that he'd steal the idea from a toilet bowl cleaner considering what shit he writes
.
As for the rest well after reading his tweets form further lands we all know how "adventurous" he is!

As for the rest of your plan, I think that is a great idea!
Don't forget to film all that if you manage to lure him in your area(promise beer, easy walks and plenty of mindless fan adulation that should get him)

[Mandy]

It makes sense that he'd steal from a product meant to clean scum.

[Nekhrun]

It makes sense that he'd steal from a product meant to clean scum.

[TheDukester]

Also on the blog: an actual post displaying the certificate he got from losing at the Colorado book thing.

A certificate ... you know, like those things my kids get when they complete swim lessons.

Has there ever been anyone more in need of validation and praise than @TheKJA?

[Nekhrun]

Also on the blog: an actual post displaying the certificate he got from losing at the Colorado book thing.

A certificate ... you know, like those things my kids get when they complete swim lessons.

Has there ever been anyone more in need of validation and praise than @TheKJA?

As soon as I get home today, I'm going to make him a certificate myself. We'll see if he brags about that one.

[Serkanner]

Also on the blog: an actual post displaying the certificate he got from losing at the Colorado book thing.

A certificate ... you know, like those things my kids get when they complete swim lessons.

Has there ever been anyone more in need of validation and praise than @TheKJA?

As soon as I get home today, I'm going to make him a certificate myself. We'll see if he brags about that one.

Are you home yet? I can't wait!

[A Thing of Eternity]

What was the colorado book thing again? He posted a cert for losing? Seems weird.

[TheDukester]

Yeah, "weird" is being charitable ...

Yes, he lost. And, yes, he posted a big graphic of the certificate.

For losing.

In a book contest that involved just his home state. Where he still managed to lose.

http://kjablog.com/?p=875" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[A Thing of Eternity]

Ah, it says "finalist", and since he's never won a significant award he's just trying to post anything that even remotely suggests serious people are even looking at his books.

[Nekhrun]

Also on the blog: an actual post displaying the certificate he got from losing at the Colorado book thing.

A certificate ... you know, like those things my kids get when they complete swim lessons.

Has there ever been anyone more in need of validation and praise than @TheKJA?

As soon as I get home today, I'm going to make him a certificate myself. We'll see if he brags about that one.

Are you home yet? I can't wait!

Just got home...

[TheDukester]

Outstanding!

[DuneFishUK]

Have we just doubled the number of awards TheKJA has won?