For The Record

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 24 Nov 2008 13:38

I tried real hard, but couldn't think of anything other than what a cheap, whiney bitch.

from Kevin's (Keith's ?) "Dune" Blog / November 2008

We're just about to pull out of Cartegena, Colombia at 2:45 PM. The weather is hot and muggy, debilitatingly so.

Rebecca took a tour of the spa. By sheer luck, she was asked to be a "model" for treatment she was interested in (detox, mud, and electrode stimulation), so she got a $150 treatment for free (and then signed up for another one).

Aboard the ship, even though you've already paid for the cruise, somebody pesters you for more money every time you turn around. We bought a pass to the spa/sauna/thermal room for the two of us; we bought a sticker to get us "free" sodas for the cruise (for only $10 a day); we bought a "premium coffee card" for $24 which allows us to get coffee that *isn't* pumped out of the ship's bilge tanks; we paid $35 for a fitness consultation and a body-mass/fat ratio measurement -- which turned out to be a 90-minute long sell-job to get us to buy a $3000 detox treatment (we said no). If it's just a sales presentation, then they shouldn't charge admission! Because the fitness consultation took so long, we missed a coffee-tasting session (which, we learned later, was a thinly disguised presentation to sell you a year's supply of their brand of coffee); we declined to pay $50 for a wine tasting (where they pressured you to buy their wine and have it shipped to your home). Man, even Amtrak doesn't charge when they hold a wine tasting.

I attended a guest lecture on the construction of the Panama Canal presented by a nasal-voiced old man who stood on stage and simply read the text off of his PowerPoint slides. (Fortunately, the ship TV was playing an excellent National Geographic special on the same subject, so I watched that.)

Rebecca and I left the ship, expecting just to go to a nearby beach and hang out for an hour or two. We had not signed up for any of the tours, but one of the local buses was hawking a tour of the island and an hour at a beach for $10 apiece; since a bus to the beach alone was $5, we signed up.

That afternoon all the toilets on our section of the ship were clogged (joy!), which took several hours to fix.

Rebecca always walks around with a giant target on her back, because she stops to look at the merchandise and makes eye contact with the vendors -- and the result is like someone smeared in honey rolling on an anthill. Everywhere we went, the very pushy people were crawling all over us, though we didn't end up buying anything.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 24 Nov 2008 13:40

Drunken Idaho wrote:
Tleszer wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:
Tleszer wrote:I'd rather read Homer Simpson's foray into dictated fiction than anything KJA has produced.
Like that screenplay he proposed to Ron Howard, about the killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason, and meets a talking pie.

Must... find... that... clip... mmmm...
http://smotri.com/video/view/?id=v676099fb85

at 10:00...

Thanks!

Maybe KJA should adapt that script into one of his bestselling novels.

Post by **Omphalos** » 24 Nov 2008 13:42

Was MartianBob calling Brian or Kevin Keith? It would make more sense to call Kevin Keith, since they both begin with a "K," but IIRC it was Brian he was calling Keith.

Anyone know if Bob is still kicking? Last time I checked he was on like his tenth stroke.

Post by **Omphalos** » 24 Nov 2008 13:46

SandRider wrote:I tried real hard, but couldn't think of anything other than what a cheap, whiney bitch.

from Kevin's (Keith's ?) "Dune" Blog / November 2008

We're just about to pull out of Cartegena, Colombia at 2:45 PM. The weather is hot and muggy, debilitatingly so.

Rebecca took a tour of the spa. By sheer luck, she was asked to be a "model" for treatment she was interested in (detox, mud, and electrode stimulation), so she got a $150 treatment for free (and then signed up for another one).

Aboard the ship, even though you've already paid for the cruise, somebody pesters you for more money every time you turn around. We bought a pass to the spa/sauna/thermal room for the two of us; we bought a sticker to get us "free" sodas for the cruise (for only $10 a day); we bought a "premium coffee card" for $24 which allows us to get coffee that *isn't* pumped out of the ship's bilge tanks; we paid $35 for a fitness consultation and a body-mass/fat ratio measurement -- which turned out to be a 90-minute long sell-job to get us to buy a $3000 detox treatment (we said no). If it's just a sales presentation, then they shouldn't charge admission! Because the fitness consultation took so long, we missed a coffee-tasting session (which, we learned later, was a thinly disguised presentation to sell you a year's supply of their brand of coffee); we declined to pay $50 for a wine tasting (where they pressured you to buy their wine and have it shipped to your home). Man, even Amtrak doesn't charge when they hold a wine tasting.

I attended a guest lecture on the construction of the Panama Canal presented by a nasal-voiced old man who stood on stage and simply read the text off of his PowerPoint slides. (Fortunately, the ship TV was playing an excellent National Geographic special on the same subject, so I watched that.)

Rebecca and I left the ship, expecting just to go to a nearby beach and hang out for an hour or two. We had not signed up for any of the tours, but one of the local buses was hawking a tour of the island and an hour at a beach for $10 apiece; since a bus to the beach alone was $5, we signed up.

That afternoon all the toilets on our section of the ship were clogged (joy!), which took several hours to fix.

Rebecca always walks around with a giant target on her back, because she stops to look at the merchandise and makes eye contact with the vendors -- and the result is like someone smeared in honey rolling on an anthill. Everywhere we went, the very pushy people were crawling all over us, though we didn't end up buying anything.

Looks like he is going to have to sell some more books to fund this trip.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 24 Nov 2008 13:52

SandRider wrote:Rebecca [...] smeared in honey rolling on [...] people [...].

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 24 Nov 2008 13:53

I gave up trying to figure out just how many projects he's presently juggling - didn't know about the Batman/Superman "novel" until today - but it's quite a list. Add this to the pile of published books, and I can only come up with two conclusions - one, he is the cheapest, penny-pinching bastard on the planet, or two : being a talentless hack, he's not being paid much for all these books that aren't selling well. I think I'll try to get ahold of his tax records for the last few years ....

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » 24 Nov 2008 14:07

Tleszer wrote:
Kevin J Anderson wrote:Rebecca [...] smeared in honey rolling on [...] people [...].

QF...shock?

Honestly, who the hell is this KJA idiot?

Drunken Idaho · Post by **Drunken Idaho** » 24 Nov 2008 14:32

What the fuck makes that hack think ANYONE cares about his wife's fucking spa treatments????

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 24 Nov 2008 14:40

Baraka Bryan wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:What the fuck makes that hack think ANYONE cares about his wife's fucking spa treatments????

yeah seriously? wtf is shit like that doing on a dune site? (or was this KJA's personal blog or something?)

no, that's the "Dune Blog" at the official HLP site, dunenovels.com.
go read the SandChigger's latest statement at hairyticks .....

Drunken Idaho · Post by **Drunken Idaho** » 24 Nov 2008 15:24

Baraka Bryan wrote:
SandRider wrote:
Baraka Bryan wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:What the fuck makes that hack think ANYONE cares about his wife's fucking spa treatments????

yeah seriously? wtf is shit like that doing on a dune site? (or was this KJA's personal blog or something?)
no, that's the "Dune Blog" at the official HLP site, dunenovels.com.
go read the SandChigger's latest statement at hairyticks .....
wow he really does have the HLP by the balls eh

See the "posts that will be deleted" thread, for my rebuttal.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 24 Nov 2008 21:29

SandRider wrote:I gave up trying to figure out just how many projects he's presently juggling - didn't know about the Batman/Superman "novel" until today - but it's quite a list.

Yeah, his first Superman novel (Lust Daze of Kryptompei) did sooo well that they wanted him to do another. It's a slash feature about the first time Superman meats Batman. (Or the other way around? ... Superman is actually the biggest bottom in the universe...or was it the galaxy? Anyway...) The new book's called Enemas, und Alles. (I guess that means there's a neo-Nazi/S&M slant?)

His other "big project" at the moment—besides Jessica of Dune and the Smellhole trilogy with Brian—is his new Terrier Incontinenta series, about an old sea dog with a leaky bladder.

Sounds riveting!

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 24 Nov 2008 21:57

what would you guesstimate his average yearly income over the last decade to be ?

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » 25 Nov 2008 00:07

SandRider wrote:what would you guesstimate his average yearly income over the last decade to be ?

What the price of bullshit/ton on the market?

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 25 Nov 2008 00:24

man, out here in West Texas bullshit's pretty cheap .....

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 25 Nov 2008 00:29

Really, no idea.

Keeping 'Becca pampered and in spa treatments sounds pretty expensive, though.

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 25 Nov 2008 00:36

NONE of them seem to be living a "high life". I wonder how much the HLP is bringing in on Frank's books ? The movie option has to be substantial, does Keith get any of that ? I'm starting to lean towards "low-paid hack".

Post by **Omphalos** » 25 Nov 2008 00:41

SandRider wrote:what would you guesstimate his average yearly income over the last decade to be ?

KJA's? Up there. After ten books he got a seven figure advance for the current four books under one contract. I think that there was a seven figure advance on all of smellhole, and I cannot imagine that it was less than the high six figures for all of the seven suns books. Add convention appearance fees and the stuff he is earning on reissues of his back catalog (Ill Wind just came out in a new edition with new graphics, for example), and the probable six figures he's gotten from DC, and the Slan sequel, and were probably north of 3-4 million in the last ten years. Plus his wife is producing, hes done two anthologies that I can think of, and I'm sure he's vested in the new Dune movie.

Oh well. Hopefully he's taken a spanking in the market.

EDIT: Did the math in my head wrong. Its not $5-6M

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 25 Nov 2008 00:49

Okay, so he's just a cheap, whiney bastard, then ?

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » 25 Nov 2008 00:58

SandRider wrote:Okay, so he's just a cheap, whiney bastard, then ?

KJA just realize that money can't buy self-esteem...

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 25 Nov 2008 02:08

Given the volume of his output, combined with his weasel-ish ability to find work in popular universes that he did nothing to create, I'd imagine KJA makes a fairly good living.

He's just a cheap prick. Every penny-pinching asshole I've ever known whines just like he did in that absurd blog post.

SandRider · Post by **SandRider** » 25 Nov 2008 02:14

Dune 7 Blog >> 15 Feb 2006

Tip Jar Discussion
A few days ago, after receiving several requests from readers, we added a Tip Jar to this blog. We run the website, and I write the blog, purely on a voluntary basis and pay all the costs out of pocket; some people wanted to toss in a few coins to show their appreciation. I'm very grateful for those of you who have already contributed.

We also received one very thoughtful letter from a fan, which I wanted to share with you (with his permission). The same thoughts may have crossed the minds of other readers:

"I recently visited the Dune blog and saw the entry where you and Brian presented us with a tip jar to offset the costs of maintaining that webpage. I really admire your work. Even more so, I admire your incredible, incredible work ethic. You constantly inspire me to keep going with my own fiction works despite the odds. I have read several of your earlier works like the X-File books and the more recent works such as Hopscotch and Captain Nemo. While I haven't read all of the books in the new series you and Brian have written, I do intend to pick up the two volume Dune 7 later this year when you complete it.

"But here's the thing. I am puzzled by the need for a tip jar. Especially when you and the publisher seem to be doing so well with this franchise. I strongly feel that the work should speak for itself and that it should also pay for itself. If I like the book, I'll buy it. As will (hopefully for you, the author) hundreds of thousands of other readers who will then become fans and continue to buy future books.

"First of all, I know that there is the distinct possibility that the publisher may be refusing to pay for the blog. That would be very disappointing. If that's true, then indeed, you and Brian will be footing the bill.

"Still, I should think that keeping up maintenance on a webpage falls under the same list of everyday life needs such as food and rent. It certainly does for me. I have a journal online that asks for a yearly fee of 19 bucks. I certainly can't go to whoever reads my online journal to contribute to the 19 bucks for the next year so that I can continue entertaining them with my monthly updates. Besides, I can certainly find, (and indeed, I have to) 19 bucks within my only means of income (from my day job) so I can keep writing in my online journal.

"But to see a tip jar from a well established author such as yourself, or especially since it seems that the publisher has seen much success from a such a large franchise such as Dune -- which could have just as easily remained a 6 book series and one movie -- well then, that seems to be a sad state of affairs."

The letter raises some excellent points, which I'd like to address.

First, as he suspected, the publisher does NOT reimburse any of these expenses. It is solely our own cost. Running a website like dunenovels.com can indeed be seen as a normal cost of doing business, and if it were only $19 for the year, we would certainly brush it off. But our actual web expenses were $3000 - 4000 in 2005. Yes, Brian and I get paid for the DUNE books -- but we get paid the same amount, website or no website. I know some people have a strange Hollywood-inspired vision of fabulously rich authors with mansions on the Riviera; for me, however, an extra $3000 or more amounts to a considerable extra expense.

Although we strongly contemplated accepting advertising on the site to defray the cost, we felt that solution would be intrusive and would bother the fans. We considered a tip jar much more acceptable -- and completely voluntary, especially since several fans had already requested it.

Readers of the blog are already aware of my writing schedule and obligations. When I spend time writing the blog, that means I am not working on HUNTERS OF DUNE or any other contracted work, nor am I spending time with my family or friends. With the number of words I have put into the blog since October, I could easily have written several short stories and articles, for which I'd be paid. Instead, I do these regular postings to keep the fans up to date. I don't begrudge it -- this was my own idea, after all, and I'll still consider the effort worthwhile to do so, whether or not I'm reimbursed. I think it's important to keep in touch with the legions of readers who have indeed kept DUNE alive for more than 40 years.

Some might view the website as one big advertisement for DUNE, so why should anybody have to pay us? I really hope that the material in the blog is seen as a lot more than advertising. I intend it to be entertaining and informative, describing the creative and production process of a major novel, as well as offering additional insights into the business and daily life of a published author, which may be informative to aspiring writers. I'm offering early views of the art and text, and will be uploading some of the chapters as a sneak preview. Also, I believe that most people following the DUNE blog will be fans already, presumably intending to read the books, whether or not I post regular entries. I could be wrong, but I think they've already decided to like DUNE.

All that said, I certainly agree that it does seem like everybody's got their hand out for a tip these days. Baristas, fast-food workers, delivery truck drivers, even the bus driver at the car-rental place. I don't want anybody to feel obligated or pressured, and I'm trying to be as unobtrusive as possible.

In the next week or so, we hope to add a second option by offering the choice to donate instead to a DUNE-relevant non-profit organization, such as the National Parks Conservation Association or the Sierra Club. That way, if you feel inspired to do something but don't want to send directly to me, you'll have an alternative.

Most important to me is that you read the DUNE books -- Brian's and mine if you so choose, or just Frank Herbert's originals if you prefer. Your interest in, and devotion to, this great universe is the best "tip" anyone could receive.

--KJA

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 25 Nov 2008 08:40

Thats explain everything.

The website come directly from his and Brian's pocket. So, he feel he have the right to write everything he wants there. Dunenovels is not only for DUNE books at all. That's the confirmation of what we already knew.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 25 Nov 2008 08:57

Bullshit.

The HLP probably writes it off as a business expense. (I wonder how much of that $3,000 ~ $4,000 goes to Uncle Mike for his PRIMO webmaster services.

)

With the number of words I have put into the blog since October, I could easily have written several short stories and articles, for which I'd be paid.

That's really how he thinks, too. Everything he does is converted in his mind into word and story equivalents. In one of his emails he wrote:

Well, sorry for the long soapbox there. It's practically the length of a short story!

Makes you wonder....

Bec: Oh, gawd, Kevin! Kevin! Yes, yes, that's the spot, yes, oh gawd oh gawd gawd gawd! Plough my fields, farm boy! I'm yer heifer! I'M YER HEIFER!!! ... Oh, lordy Kev, you were great that time.
Kev: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You know I could have dictated another chapter or two in Enemas und Alles in the time it took to get you warmed up.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 25 Nov 2008 09:54

Baraka Bryan wrote:

Lisan Al-Gaib · Post by **Lisan Al-Gaib** » 25 Nov 2008 10:58

SandChigger wrote:Bullshit.

The HLP probably writes it off as a business expense. (I wonder how much of that $3,000 ~ $4,000 goes to Uncle Mike for his PRIMO webmaster services. )

With the number of words I have put into the blog since October, I could easily have written several short stories and articles, for which I'd be paid.
That's really how he thinks, too. Everything he does is converted in his mind into word and story equivalents. In one of his emails he wrote:

Well, sorry for the long soapbox there. It's practically the length of a short story!
Makes you wonder....

Bec: Oh, gawd, Kevin! Kevin! Yes, yes, that's the spot, yes, oh gawd oh gawd gawd gawd! Plough my fields, farm boy! I'm yer heifer! I'M YER HEIFER!!! ... Oh, lordy Kev, you were great that time.
Kev: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You know I could have dictated another chapter or two in Enemas und Alles in the time it took to get you warmed up.

Exactly.

This guy is a mercenary. He thinks that every word he vomit in his keyboard, and the time he expends on it, worth to be translated in money (or short-story how he likes to call). It`s a shame.