Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

I am reading Sandworms of Dune and it is my least favorite book to be titled: Dune. I am a moderate fan of the Dune books written by Brian and Kevin but I am not impressed with this book.

I do not like the fact that they just overloaded the story with gholas, Sheeana walking inside a worm and probably even more flaws to come as I read this book.

I bought the book in Singapore in December, but my brother believing I still did not have it bought another copy for me! Would anyone care to buy a copy from me? (I'm joking of course)

Hello again.

Suggestions:

Burn it and video it. Send me the file and I'll host it on my website.

Cut out the centers of the pages and make a hollow inside the book. (I'm sure you've seen this on TV or movies, when someone wants to hide something inside a book.) Eat a very spicey meal and defecate into the hollow. Wrap in plastic wrap and mail to Kevin or Brian or the HLP with a note saying "I shat in your book...and it remains unchanged. A miracle!"

Alternatively, rip out the pages and shred them and return to same.

So MANY possibilities!

SandChigger wrote:Hello again.

Suggestions:

Burn it and video it. Send me the file and I'll host it on my website.

Cut out the centers of the pages and make a hollow inside the book. (I'm sure you've seen this on TV or movies, when someone wants to hide something inside a book.) Eat a very spicey meal and defecate into the hollow. Wrap in plastic wrap and mail to Kevin or Brian or the HLP with a note saying "I shat in your book...and it remains unchanged. A miracle!"

Alternatively, rip out the pages and shred them and return to same.

So MANY possibilities!

owwwwwwww .... I am tempted!

Better if he just put a bomb inside the hollow book, God knows they have enough pages there for a VERY fat bomb.

I've been trying to give away all my prequel hardcovers but people just look at me like I'm crazy.

orald wrote:Better if he just put a bomb inside the hollow book, God knows they have enough pages there for a VERY fat bomb.

In the hollowed out book glue a test tube full of hydrochloric acid with the end plugged with rubber plug; attach dental floss to one end and glue the other end to the front hardcover (make it short). Fill the hole in the book with zinc pellets. When the books open, the rubber plug comes off spilling the acid and mixing with the zinc. If he happens to be lighting anything, bang! If not the acid will corrode fingers. Also a delay mercury switch to produce a spark just after the cover swung open, just to make sure. Old cameras have the switch.

Now you all know how to make hydrogen. Save the environment!

(this is intended as a joke and in no way, shape, or form, am I directing anyone to do this.)

SandChigger wrote: Cut out the centers of the pages and make a hollow inside the book. (I'm sure you've seen this on TV or movies, when someone wants to hide something inside a book.) Eat a very spicey meal and defecate into the hollow. Wrap in plastic wrap and mail to Kevin or Brian or the HLP with a note saying "I shat in your book...and it remains unchanged. A miracle!"

D

I can't stop laughing. Damn you Chigger.

The only thing I can add to this marvelous idea is to send the "edited version" to Harriet Klausner for a review.

Freakzilla wrote:I've been trying to give away all my prequel hardcovers but people just look at me like I'm crazy.

I finally got the new employee at my local used book store to buy them when the owner was at lunch one Saturday. That was months ago, and they are still sitting there. I tease them about it everytime I go in there.

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:I've been trying to give away all my prequel hardcovers but people just look at me like I'm crazy.

I finally got the new employee at my local used book store to buy them when the owner was at lunch one Saturday. That was months ago, and they are still sitting there. I tease them about it everytime I go in there.

That's what I'm going to have to do, spend some time casing the local used book store to see when the owner is normally away.

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:I've been trying to give away all my prequel hardcovers but people just look at me like I'm crazy.

I finally got the new employee at my local used book store to buy them when the owner was at lunch one Saturday. That was months ago, and they are still sitting there. I tease them about it everytime I go in there.

Haha...Beers Books? I had a similiar experience with Hunters.

Mr. Teg wrote:

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:I've been trying to give away all my prequel hardcovers but people just look at me like I'm crazy.

I finally got the new employee at my local used book store to buy them when the owner was at lunch one Saturday. That was months ago, and they are still sitting there. I tease them about it everytime I go in there.

Haha...Beers Books? I had a similiar experience with Hunters.

Thats the one! Did you see my pristine copy of Sadworms sitting on the hb shelf? Or my House novels on the pb shelf? I think they finally took my copy of Hunters, drilled a hole in it, and attached the bathroom key.

HoosierDaddy wrote:The only thing I can add to this marvelous idea is to send the "edited version" to Harriet Klausner for a review.

Oh, GodDur yes! That slattern hoor!

She probably wouldn't notice, though, since she only uses the back covers for her "reviews".

A bomb in a Dune book? Terrorism in the name of good taste? No that is not an option.

Anyway I just gave it to my parents. Nobody would read it if I put it in my library.

I read the negative reviews and found four more flaws that I have yet to get to.

Terrorism in the name of terrorism! That's the main kind anyway, no matter what the terrorists proclaim.

Of course MY terrorism against P&B is a holy war in the name of the human mind! They have tainted all mankind! Just think what the aliens will think of us when they read trash like that!

It's been several months and I'm STILL reading Sandworms! I'm reading it reeeeaaaalllly slowly because of how pointless the plot is. The gholas are just THERE and for no real purpose. I'm not encouraged to get to the end because of the deux ex machina ending. I've just read the ridiculous scene of Serena talking through Sheeana to the robot Erasmus.

I was impressed with the House series, somewhat satisfied with the Legends series and Hunters but I am totally bored and unimpressed with Sandworms!

What happened? Probably written in a hurry and they assumed a good ending would be to bring together all the characters from previous novels for the grand finale. Big mistake.

I liked most of the new Dune novels, but I have to agree with the Kevin bashers on this one. Utterly pointless ending to a great series.

Nebiros wrote:Probably written in a hurry ...

Written via dictation. All the best authors do it ...

Then KJA's raw dictation bypassed Bri-Bri and the HLP completely and went right to the printer.

Exaggerated for effect, yes. But not that much.

Ah, Chig, I grow desperate of our political-expert friend. *shakes head*



BTW, we need a head-shaking smiley.

orald wrote:Ah, Chig, I grow desperate of our political-expert friend. *shakes head*

Yes...and for what it's worth, I think the two of you would make a lovely couple. If he didn't already have a cutey wife. And didn't have that whole Xian "Sodomy is a sin!" vibe thing going.


(I'm sure "desperate" isn't the word you wanted, but I'm drawing a blank myself this morning as to what it should be. I forget, do you like brown sugar?)

Nebiros wrote: I was impressed with the House series, somewhat satisfied with the Legends series and Hunters but I am totally bored and unimpressed with Sandworms!

If you was impressed with the House Series, so read my Edited and Revised version of House Atreides

It's even better!

As if their books could be good anyway...but I try my best...

I think this is the best way to humiliate them: Acting like the editor book they never had. If we can't erase their work (maybe we can in the future), Edit it.

Chig wrote:And didn't have that whole Xian "Sodomy is a sin!" vibe thing going.

I've been meaning to ask you, WTF is this "Xian" you mention about him all the time anyway?

Chig wrote:(I'm sure "desperate" isn't the word you wanted, but I'm drawing a blank myself this morning as to what it should be. I forget, do you like brown sugar?)

Desperate.
1st entry, meaning #8.

I'm almost sure this "brown sugar" thing is some insulting slang directed at me or my "tastes", but I don't understand it.

Xian is Christian. I'll let you figure out the brown sugar on your own, though.

orald wrote:Desperate.
1st entry, meaning #8.

(That's a noun. You're using it as an adjective. Edit: Or is it an adverb in your usage? I should have been asleep two hours ago...)

Xtian = Christian.

Brown Sugar = Lovin' from a black person.

I just realized what it should have been:

"I despair of our...."

Freakzilla wrote:Xtian = Christian.

Brown Sugar = Lovin' from a black person.

Brown or Black?

Dune Nerd wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:Xtian = Christian.

Brown Sugar = Lovin' from a black person.

Brown or Black?

Either.