Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 10:14**

Sev wrote:...and Paul saves Irulan's life in some plodding Imperial machination arc which results in Shaddam rewarding him by getting them engaged! Yes, Paul and Irulan, for a time, were to be married - allowing the Hacks to piss all over Frank's storyline to unprecedented levels - childhood sweethearts

Not at all impossible. Paul, of course, will be hesitant and have "vague" foreshadowings of the future, allowing them to recap most of the Paul/Fremen plot of Dune with sleazy details. Irulan will be an infatuated schoolgirl, while great emphasis is put on her Bene Gesserit training.

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 11:11**

Updated.

I really like the Paul/Irulan sweetheart angle! And the sublimation of emotional distress into killing people.

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 11:45**

In the young Paul storyline, someone close to Paul - Bronso? - will be kidnapped, and Paul will need to find some bauble or ancient relic to exchange for their freedom. I'm thinking ... a crysknife from Arrakis! That's right, not only has Paul been off-planet before Dune, he's been to Dune!

He sneaks aboard a highliner like he always does. On Dune, he frees some captive Fremen from the Harkonnens (after the obligatory sexually-suggestive torture scenes), and they escape into the desert. He is taken to a sietch where he learns some of the Fremen ways, such as how to wear a stillsuit slip-fashion. This explains why he was so familiar with Fremen customs in Dune.

He does some heroic deed and is given a crysknife, then he flies home, and kills or captures the kidnappers during the exchange. If captured, Paul is forced to kill them anyway because they try to escape or, in a fascinating and thrilling plot twist, they try to kill him.

Bronso is freed and Paul swears him to secrecy, as usual. Fin.

HBJ

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 11:53**

Hunchback Jack wrote:That's right, not only has Paul been off-planet before Dune, he's been to Dune!

I was actually thinking they might have Paul go to Arrakis as well - but thought even those two couldn't stoop so low, could they? - which in hindsight was a stupid thought, as they can't get any lower than they already are. I second Jack's suggestion that Paul goes to Arrakis, though I'll go with something Harkonnen and kanly based...

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 11:59**

Spanky and Bobo are arrogant enough to send Paul to Arrakis, no argument there. And they are certainly stupid, stupid, stupid people, but they also have a bit of cunning to them ...

I don't think they'll do it, because even they know that completely invalidating the first six (at least) chapters of Dune might be enough to lose some of the higher-end preeks forever. Hell, something like that might even be enough to get some mainstream media interested to the point of finally asking these idiots "Why?"

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 15:53**

Lets look at it this way: in Paul of Dune he learned to be a warrior, in Winds, he learned to use his charisma to be a leader. What's left? In Throne, Paul will learn....to Love! He'll get sent to a school for gifted and talented students that tours the galaxy. Here he'll meet young Irulan (going by her middle name $a1sha) as well as his life long friend Ron Weasley. He'll have his first encounter with an old friend now bully named Bronso.

Shaddam's clone army will Episode II all over us. They will storm through out the galaxy conquering planets with their fearsome giant invisible robot camels: NO-AT's

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 16:16**

TheDukester wrote:Spanky and Bobo are arrogant enough to send Paul to Arrakis, no argument there. And they are certainly stupid, stupid, stupid people, but they also have a bit of cunning to them ...

I don't think they'll do it, because even they know that completely invalidating the first six (at least) chapters of Dune might be enough to lose some of the higher-end preeks forever. Hell, something like that might even be enough to get some mainstream media interested to the point of finally asking these idiots "Why?"

They don't care about losing the "high end preeks." They have been taught over the last ten years that there are at least three new 8 year old sack-ticklers in training for every one fan that they ostracize. I'm telling you, the YA crap that they churn out is insidious, and the Youll covers grab them by the neck and force them in.

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 16:38**

Sack-ticklers? Haven't heard that one before.

Sack-Tickling: the real reason Paul and Bronso were friends, that is, before Bronso became bitchy over how everyone now loved Paul (even though he was first).

Posted: **04 Jun 2010 16:57**

Tleszer wrote:Sack-ticklers? Haven't heard that one before.

I borrowed it from SR.

Posted: **06 Jun 2010 01:09**

Leto will dictate the works of Noah Arkwright while hiking all 54 dunes above 14000 ft. on Arrakis. Nine other historians will accuse Arkwright of being a lazy hack and will be burned alive. Stilgar will then scold Leto, saying: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Posted: **06 Jun 2010 03:12**

Because KJA puts "some part of himself" into every character he writes!

Which, since he's almost all dick, means...

I've replaced my mention of the burning of the nine historians with the above.

Posted: **06 Jun 2010 15:21**

Hopefully neither Keith or Bobo are aware of Larry Niven's essay on the problems of Superman having sex with Lois Lane - and subject us to a similar scenario: Before Leto loses his cock entirely he has sex with a volunteer fish-speaker - who rapidly gets torn to shreds by his super-sperm

Posted: **06 Jun 2010 15:30**

SandChigger wrote:And the sublimation of emotional distress into killing people.

Yeah. Someone should really let KJA know there's other ways to deal... Maybe we could send him some literature with examples?

Posted: **07 Jun 2010 08:00**

I may have jumped the gun in the Twitter thread

so I figured I'd repost my "predictions" here.

1. We'll learn all about Jacurutu/FONDAK in Irulan to the Throne of Dune, during a flashback sequence to before the Atreides leave for Arrakis and that Paul hears everything told about the Iduali.

2. Paul will have a prescient dream in which he gets tennis elbow, and Jessica tells him to stop monkeying about.

3. Duncan will once again get a glimpse of the web/net (as he does in CoD, I believe) and it will be heavily implied that Erasmus the Tranny thinks that Duncan's ass isn't nearly as perfect Gilbertus Albans'.

4. Vorian Atreides is alive and is on his way to Arrakis to tell Paul that his children are in trouble and that where they're going, they have no need of roads. Before they take off, The Normacle appears, and blows up Vorian. Leto II's "Stolen Journals" are actually pages from Vorian's diary chronicling the investigation of the death of Padishah Emperor Elrood "Funny Man" Corrino IX. These diary pages will threaten the newly restructured empire formed by Leto II.

5. Irulan will drink Alia's milkshake.

Posted: **07 Jun 2010 12:17**

Ma milkshake brings all the boys to the yaad!

Posted: **07 Jun 2010 15:47**

Tleszer wrote:I may have jumped the gun in the Twitter thread so I figured I'd repost my "predictions" here. ...

Those were a bit of pickle to work in!

Have a look at what I did with them, let me know if you want any changes.

Posted: **07 Jun 2010 16:33**

The only thing was that Vorian blowing up, as well as was his diary entries, was a parody of Watchmen's ending so having them separated changes part of the joke. Still, those are some great predictions on those pages!

Posted: **07 Jun 2010 17:04**

Oh. D'uh.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 08:46**

boardadmin wrote:
Kosh III wrote:If this info is already on this website, my apologies for missing it.

When will Throne of Dune and Leto of Dune be published?
Throne of Dune: Sept. 2011

Leto of Dune: Sept 2013.

FYI, there may be a change in the line-up of books, so these may not be the next two coming out. We'll keep you posted.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 09:23**

Ghola Wars of Dune (December 2012): picks up several years after Sandworms of Dune, in which Paul Atreides attempts to defeat The Darth Idaho (who has become more machine than man); while fending off Duncan's sexy charms, Chani gives birth to triplets...

Next time on Ghola Wars of Dune...

GOB takes on the sandtrout skin.

GOB: My God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the-the feeling that you’re... that you’re feeling is-is what many of us call “a feeling.”
GOB: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
GOB: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard.

Michael tries to keep the family together while his father is in space prison.

Buster joins Army.

Buster: These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing.

And they find out that they have a long-lost sister.

Michael: GOB, do you remember having a sister?
GOB: [looking at Lindsay] Sis-ter... no... not ringing any bells..
Michael: Besides Lindsay, of course.
GOB: Oh, Lindsay!
Michael: You might not be the most reliable source.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 14:28**

boardadmin wrote:FYI, there may be a change in the line-up of books, so these may not be the next two coming out. We'll keep you posted.

WTF? May not be the next two coming out? Well I hope someone lets KJA know that Throne may not be the next book, 'cause he's already "mulling over ideas" for it!

Although, come to think of it, he didn't mention it by name the other day, did he: "time to mull over ideas for next Dune novel."

Now why in the world would they cancel (or "temporarily table"?) the last two books in a tetralogy?

What would they do instead, start up "The Great Schools" series early? That makes no sense at all.

The next book will come out next year, a year (at best) before the movie, so the smart thing would be to put out something that would tie in with that. Hmmm...

They really are going to rewrite Dune, aren't they?

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 14:41**

SandChigger wrote:
boardadmin wrote:FYI, there may be a change in the line-up of books, so these may not be the next two coming out. We'll keep you posted.
WTF? May not be the next two coming out? Well I hope someone lets KJA know that Throne may not be the next book, 'cause he's already "mulling over ideas" for it!

Although, come to think of it, he didn't mention it by name the other day, did he: "time to mull over ideas for next Dune novel."

Now why in the world would they cancel (or "temporarily table"?) the last two books in a tetralogy? What would they do instead, start up "The Great Schools" series early? That makes no sense at all.

The next book will come out next year, a year (at best) before the movie, so the smart thing would be to put out something that would tie in with that. Hmmm...

They really are going to rewrite Dune, aren't they?

Probably not a re-write... but extra chapters based on the notes (and "bridging the gaps") are possible.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 14:43**

Another Leto to the Golden Path of Dune prediction:

OM Baron Harkonnen discovers a way to take over other other-memory-selves and gain enough power to take over Leto's mind. Leto joins forces with OM Muad'dib as tthey journey deep into his other Matrix.. I mean memories, and track down the Oracle who can tell them how to defeat an army of OM Baron Harkonnens in a great big burly brawl in a memory of a Muad'ru operahouse.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 15:42**

Irulan was in fact an incarnation of the god empress of all universes and dimensions, Norma Cenva.

Thus, her writings could not be any more authoritative.

Posted: **11 Jun 2010 15:44**

DuneFishUK wrote:Probably not a re-write... but extra chapters based on the notes (and "bridging the gaps") are possible.

Unspeakable.

(Let's not speak of it

)

[Although you're probably right ...]

Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

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