Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Haven't read it before, but I will be honest when I say the first chapter has me somewhat disturbed. Not the writing , but the weird Hostel feel of it.

"Hostel?" Oh... nevermind, I probably don't want to know and people will come into this thread later to explain it anyway.

That's the "flesh cookies" chapter that merkin so loves!

Complete and total crap. Reinforces their (unimaginative) theme of intelligent machines as sterile and uncreative. (It takes a vengeful human mind to create truly diabolical biological weapons, blah blah blah. )

One thing I really hate about The Machine Crusade and The Battle for Corrin is how they started using the common Dune BG/AG chronology from the second book. Of course, the books are supposedly written by Irulan and, instead of being narratives of events-as-they-happen, are teleological in nature.

Feh. Shit, by any other name, would stink as rank.

SandChigger wrote:That's the "flesh cookies" chapter that merkin so loves!

Yeah, I've tried to read that book a couple times, and couldn't get past that wack bullshit. It's disturbing to me, too, but not because Erasmus is so twisted - it's the horrible writing that gets under my skin. "Four-Arms was particularly efficient at carrying things." Are you fucking shitting me!?

This is what happens when a guy who's scared of everything (Brian Herbert) and a douche who gets all his information about history from one hour cable documentaries (KJA) tries to write something "disturbing" and "scary." It's like a 12-year-old virgin trying to shock you with a made-up story about one of his sexual escapades.

It's some of the worst shit I've ever read.

merkin muffley wrote:

SandChigger wrote:That's the "flesh cookies" chapter that merkin so loves!

Yeah, I've tried to read that book a couple times, and couldn't get past that wack bullshit. It's disturbing to me, too, but not because Erasmus is so twisted - it's the horrible writing that gets under my skin. "Four-Arms was particularly efficient at carrying things." Are you fucking shitting me!?

This is what happens when a guy who's scared of everything (Brian Herbert) and a douche who gets all his information about history from one hour cable documentaries (KJA) tries to write something "disturbing" and "scary." It's like a 12-year-old virgin trying to shock you with a made-up story about one of his sexual escapades.

It's some of the worst shit I've ever read.

Stumpy, and 4 legs w00t! lol, no idea what the whole point of that was, oh well. I just don't get it, either way.

So they open right away with that, eh? Wow.

Kojiro wrote:So they open right away with that, eh? Wow.

Yeah it definetly was weird, and didn't fit in with the story in the first two books. Some how in a 70 year time fram Erasmus has become this weird re-animator type character that has cut off the arms and legs of a Tlexiu and is forcing him to create some plague. He took the two arms he grabbed from him and attatched them to someone else, and the legs to the others. I think even one line was something like "4 legs runs faster than normal people".

Also the flesh cookies were kind of weird too. But yeah, def weird and ackward.

zacher2005 wrote:

Kojiro wrote:So they open right away with that, eh? Wow.

Yeah it definetly was weird, and didn't fit in with the story in the first two books. Some how in a 70 year time fram Erasmus has become this weird re-animator type character that has cut off the arms and legs of a Tlexiu and is forcing him to create some plague. He took the two arms he grabbed from him and attatched them to someone else, and the legs to the others. I think even one line was something like "4 legs runs faster than normal people".

Actually, I'd expect him to run slower and trip over himself constantly. Just because a cat can run away from a human doesn't mean a human can run faster with two extra legs, as our balance and coordination is completely different from a cat's.

Kojiro wrote:

zacher2005 wrote:

Kojiro wrote:So they open right away with that, eh? Wow.

Yeah it definetly was weird, and didn't fit in with the story in the first two books. Some how in a 70 year time fram Erasmus has become this weird re-animator type character that has cut off the arms and legs of a Tlexiu and is forcing him to create some plague. He took the two arms he grabbed from him and attatched them to someone else, and the legs to the others. I think even one line was something like "4 legs runs faster than normal people".

Actually, I'd expect him to run slower and trip over himself constantly. Just because a cat can run away from a human doesn't mean a human can run faster with two extra legs, as our balance and coordination is completely different from a cat's.

lol., makes sense.

If you are reading Battle of Corrin for the first time, all I can say is: I am sorry.

You are now embarking on a 600+ page marathon of poor story telling that attempts to present itself as 'philosophical' (when it is not), action packed (when the 'action' is just gratuitous...all of it) and thought provoking (in a book where thinkers need not apply). All couched within pointless meandering that plods and plods and plods and plods and plods along only to wrap up the entire series in the last 72 pages of the book. - It only wraps up at that point because the writer(s?) realized that they actually needed to wrap up several pointless story threads. So they go on a romp of shameless "offing" of characters that had no reason to be in the story in the first place.

The supposed beginnings of the Atreides/Harkonnen feud seems rather contrived and hardly believable once it is presented.

Again, I can say is that I am sorry for the hours of life that you will never get back once you have finished this bastion of mediocrity.

Yeah, this book was pretty God awful. Sandworm duel. Epic dood.

Wait..."Sandworm Duel?" WTF?

Ampoliros wrote:Wait..."Sandworm Duel?" WTF?

Pretty much the reaction of everyone who hears of any minor plot-point of nuDune second-hand.

Whenever I see a reaction like this, it always reassures me that I'm not alone, that I'm not just nitpicking about minutiae when it comes to the KJA/BH novels. That even a cursory glance shows that they are in no way Dune as Frank envisioned it.

HBJ

Have fun reading this Star Wars book in disguise...

What bothers me is giving the machines personality, they should have just made it an outside threat.

They especially dropped the ball about the whole religious aspect of the jihad, that in this book they finally mention God, even though I am only 200 pages in.


I will admit, and mayebget shit for it, but I think some of the IDEAS they have in the books are great, just written horribley. Maybe they are some of the ideas they read from these notes they have. Off the top of my head I dig the idea why the Melange market boomed was because of its imunity system boosting to fight the plaque. I also like how they explain early Fremen culture and early Arakis. The soreceress thing is lame, but IIRC in Dune they say the BG sprang from sorceresses.

Overall not really well written, and def not up to par with Dune, but in the end cool to see some aspects explored, and or explained.

Oh BTW the swordmaster shit annoys the shit out of me, might as well call them jedis. I mean never in any other dune book have they had so much attention as in the prequels.

I agree that they occasionally hit on a decent idea, but more often than not I feel like its throwing 50 darts at a dartboard, anyone will get a couple of bull's eyes doing that.

The 'sorceresses' thing is where they didn't even hit the board, because they were throwing a bowling ball rather than a dart. Kevin, wanting to make it 'more like Star Wars', chose to interpret that literally, when everything we know about the Bene Gesseritt (and later on the Honored Matres) gives us our answer:

Take the abilities of prana-bindu, the beginning development of other memory and the vast amount of wisdom and knowledge that would provide, and then put them in the hands of a teenager or even a 3 year old. Power corrupts, and the earliest users of this would certainly appear to be 'sorceresses with real power' because they would have no discipline in the use of those powers. The ability to withstand any poison, move faster, cease aging, and reveal knowledge you had no firsthand access to would appear as magical, but that doesn't mean that some retarded man-ape baby 'author' can go "Ooooh Magic!" If it wasn't assault I'd pimp slap him for that alone.

HEY KEVIN, BENE GESSERIT DO. NOT. HAVE. PSYCHIC. POWERS.


Now seriously, WTF sandworm duel?

lol so true.

Have they ever said who wrote what part of these novels?

recap: I stumbled in here after finally buying the two "Dune7" whatchamacallits in paperback
at the checkout line in the HEB (previously, I had purchased the paperback of House Atreides
at the same place, read the first few pages, realized it was a juvenile-market dumbed-downer,
thought, "well, that's unfortunate" and forgot all about it, paying little to no attention as the
other prequels showed up in the checkout line with the "celebrity" magazines)

these two books, however, clearly stated on the cover that this was, in fact, "Dune 7", as
written from Frank's Notes ... in a subconscious way, this made some sense ... Dune had
been a difficult read for young folk, and the average intellect, so churning out some YA to
possibly explain some of Frank's concepts in a simpler way would've made some sense ...
(of course, that ain't atall what they did, but I didn't know that then) ... but now, with these
"notes", here comes the real shit ....

maybe five pages in, I was online gooooogling to find some goddamn answers about these "Notes",
and who the fuck this Anderson person was ....

at first, I spent quite a bit of time going back and forth from here to the Official Corporate Dune Forum,
then back here to say "WHAT THE FUCK ??" alot ... finally, and I believe it was Duke, someone told
me that Keith was a StarWars hack, and in the McDune, everybody was Jedi ....

this made so much sense to me, it was the turning point in releasing the anger and turning it into
amusement (bemusement ?) .... that being said, I'd also like to point out that if you do make up a
tehKJA plot or plot-element, let it run for a minute, but be sure to come back and let us know you
made it up ... because at this point, I'd believe anything ...

cf the recent example in Amp's hellhole comic - I could very easily believe that the vineyards
introduced in the beginning of the book became the vehicle for the climax, of making wine and
getting the bad guys drunk and whipping up on them ...

also: PUT DOWN THE MCDUNE. NOW.
there is NO POSSIBLE "entertainment value" that can counter-balance the damage it will
do to your understanding of Frank's work ... dead fucking serious about that ... too many
examples abound ... if you need scifi trash, try the Warhammer40K, or Larry Niven ...

Yep, sandworm duel. 'Tis the coolest awesomeness "ever shat out of KJA's facial anus" as Sandchigger likes to say...

Page 535

The other Free Men in the speaking chamber stared, knowing exactly what Ishmael meant. A sandworm duel would determine their future.

Page 577

Thick, rock encrusted segments tore loose in long rubbery strips of flesh. The duel was joined and now the territorial creatures would fight in their own way.

Page 673

Ishmael recovered from the sandworm duel but his heart did not...

Some good stuff right there.

Ampoliros wrote:Wait..."Sandworm Duel?" WTF?

I second this.

What.

A sandworm duel sounds pretty stupid, but I still think having Paul run off to join the circus takes the cake. I hope never to read the book in which that happened and so I'll ask again: Was McPaul a full-on circus performer or more of a carny/associate? Thanks in advance for any response.

I don't know how to respond to that. Half of me wants to ask for donations from all of you to pay for a bucket full of sex products (and things shaped vaguely similar to sex products) for me to shove up a certain "author's" holes until he's more plastic than human. (and also for my legal defense...)

The other half is dead to it. Like a parent who sends a screaming child to time out, and the child is raging in their room, so that the whole household can hear the muffled rant.

It's just...I mean...I...It's...you know...FUCK

Ampoliros wrote:I don't know how to respond to that. Half of me wants to ask for donations from all of you to pay for a bucket full of sex products (and things shaped vaguely similar to sex products) for me to shove up a certain "author's" holes until he's more plastic than human. (and also for my legal defense...)

The other half is dead to it. Like a parent who sends a screaming child to time out, and the child is raging in their room, so that the whole household can hear the muffled rant.

It's just...I mean...I...It's...you know...FUCK

I know what you mean, some days I want to feed him like a baby bird with my ass and other days I wish him a long life of eating at shit restaurants with his dumbass fans having to watch people like Neil Gaiman get paid $30,000 for a 1 hour speaking engagement.

Nekhrun wrote:...having to watch people like Neil Gaiman get paid $30,000 for a 1 hour speaking engagement.

Oh you mean like someone capable of independent and artistic creation? Someone who can write characters in MORE THAN ONE DIMENSION!

Ampoliros wrote:

Nekhrun wrote:...having to watch people like Neil Gaiman get paid $30,000 for a 1 hour speaking engagement.

Oh you mean like someone capable of independent and artistic creation? Someone who can write characters in MORE THAN ONE DIMENSION!

Careful, if kja reads this he's going to start writing about Paul running off to other dimensions as a youngster.