Omphalos wrote:I'm a hermit who has to remind myself daily not to hate other people just because they exist. Sometimes I just can't do it, but usually I can get over it and not behave like an ass. Never mind why; it just is.
one of the ways of defining "anti-social" is not in terms of your relationships with other individuals,
which may be very good & productive, but in terms of behavior and attitude, as the label implies, with
the society of those individuals, who may or may not be responsible for whatever it is that rubs your fur
the wrong way ... so what you're doing is quite common - you remind yourself that the individuals you encounter
are not to be blamed, on their own and singularly, for the ills of society; anymore than you are ... "hermit" is
a good word for the psychological process that allows you to continue and live and function in a society that is
annoying and morally abhorrent ... you build yourself a psychological island out off the coast of the mainstream,
where you can still see and hear what's going on, but no necessarily be swayed or concerned about it, tending
to your own gardens, and keeping firm goddamn control on that mainland ferry, thoroughly vetting any adventurer
who ventures across ...
[edit]
Kitty Foreman: Red, I'm just worried that you don't have any friends ...
Red Foreman: [grunts, rolls eyes to heaven] .... well.... I like
you ....
you don't annoy me ... all the time ...
[/edit]
you're also talking about what I was talking about, acceptance of the Status Quo, acceptance that the Status
Quo is a big fucker, weighs about seven and a half tons, and we
could move it ... if we just
had to,
but fuck, that'd take a bigger crane that what we got on project, it ain't in the operating budget anyway, it's
for damn sure gonna rain next week and if you think the Bosses are pissed off now, wait til we stick a bigass
walker crane up to it's knees in mud ... and besides that, I don't think I got that kinda juice to get a permit
from the State to displace the Status Quo - even if it
could be
physically done, I'm pretty sure
there'd be some Federal Inspectors & State Troopers show up right about the time we got the crane pads
set ... and anyways, let's say we
do tip that fucker over and push it out of the way ... I'll guaran-damn-tee
you it'll be standing back up when we get back on-shift ... with new pilings and a re-enforced concrete bunker
in the foundation ... and there's the Foreman with our lay-off slips ...
I've still not found all the right words to describe what I set out to describe here ...
it is not "disillusionment" ... I understand and accept the Evils of Humanity, and in particular,
the evil & inhumanity of my own society & nation & culture & people, and it's not all the lying about it,
altho that really makes hanging around in Town annoying - we were not taking Freedom and Democracy to
the Iraqi people, we was supposed to just kick some ass and take some names, so let's just say that ...
no, it's an old-fashioned Figure-Headed senate-run "Republic", like Rome right before they gave up some of
their lies and just rolled the fuck over everything in their path ... (until they ran into them crazy white
boys up there in them mountains, who kicked their ass and broke their empire in two) ... also, backstep -
"kick some ass and take some names", which the Federal Army didn't all that well at in Iraq and are
kinda going the other way in the Afghan War .... a situation which is pretty goddamn familiar to me, esp.
the lying and rationalization and ... what was I talking about ?
it wasn't the realization that I wasn't alone in this thinking, that there were many people, daddy included,
who knew that regardless of the morality of "our" actions, lying about the motives and purposes for damn
sure wasn't healthy and did not please the Little Baby Jesus ... I think it was that choking, gagging sound
they made when they swallowed that shit, and tried to grin at me and tell me, "aw, g'head... it ain't that bad"
that's the sick, wet, slurping sound that wakes me up in the middle of the night
and then I realize the noise was coming from me ...
