Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

GMs defence of KJA being a 'hard worker' has inspired me to look for better possibilities.

He can't really be dictahiking all the time, not with his physique, and the pictures he's posted show that he's never walked for any real length of time, so how do you think he exudes so much chum? Whatever else you might think about the hack, his production level is on par with China. So he says he spouts 'nearly polished prose.' Some of you guys that do the audio books, how much time does it take to read one out loud? (or listen I mean) Then, some poor shmuck has to transcribe all that crap so he can 'edit' while watching TV. How many hours does it take for KJA to void himself of another masterpiece?

I'm thinking he's probably got a suite of pissed off wannabes hammering away at fleshing out random recorded thoughts. As long as he keeps each of his minions busy with random bits, and pays them for it, he can call it his.

What do you think? A few hours of copy/paste/edit? The wheel-o-plots? Snowflake parties?

I think he has a template that he just changes around. Kind of like Mad Libs.

Yeah, if he had wannabes writing for him, one of them would have leaked the truth by now.

Freakzilla wrote:I think he has a template that he just changes around. Kind of like Mad Libs.

hmmm - that actually may be plausible... I use templates for audio recordings in-studio, dialogue and music, and it cuts time down dramatically, if you know what you're doing. But is there any reason to believe McDune has followed any kind of template? Usually there are telltale signs here and there, and we have a ton of books by him to examine... I never noticed any, but it could be one explanation...

The KJA Dune audiobooks are between 18 and 20 hours, I think.

Hunters: 20.5 hours
Sandworms: 20 hours
Paul of Dune: 18.5 hours
Winds of Dune: 17.5 hours

So if he hikes 4 hours a day, it would take about a week to diktahike the book if he just read it out loud.

In fact, though, the most he claims to "write" on these excursions is just a few chapters, I think. Maybe as many as five, from memory (haven't checked). An experienced typist could type that up fairly quickly, particularly if they were used to his "writing style" - and they could be working while he was out diktahiking the next section of the book. He then later edits the text just enough to make it barely readable, and there you have another book in just a few months.

So I think it's definitely all KJA; there's enough time to churn out multiple doorstoppers a year when you write them out loud, and don't give enough of a shit to do any editing worth a damn.

Whether he's actually *hiking* while he talks into his recorder is another matter, of course.

HBJ

He probably hikes to the nearest picnic spot, then sits on his arse eating his packed lunch while dictatign drivel into his machine for a couple of hours.

We either need to find a reporter at a local paper who'd be willing to stalk him for the scoop it would represent ("Local Author Lies about 'Writing Method'") or hire a private investigator to go after him.

chanilover wrote:He probably hikes to the nearest picnic spot, then sits on his arse eating his packed lunch while dictatign drivel into his machine for a couple of hours.

That could explain all the eating sounds that get edited out of the ARC's and uncorrected proof's.

SandChigger wrote:We either need to find a reporter at a local paper who'd be willing to stalk him for the scoop it would represent ("Local Author Lies about 'Writing Method'") or hire a private investigator to go after him.

I'd like to get some photos of him pulling up to the summit of Mt. Evans in his car, waddling towards the overlook eating a quarter pounder from Mickey D's.

"He adventures hard, so we don't have to..."

He must not be that hard to track, considering all the whining he does on Twitter, and considering how slowly he moves.

merkin muffley wrote:He must not be that hard to track, considering all the whining he does on Twitter, and considering how slowly he moves.

Yeah, he's really pretty ignorant when it comes to the changed reality of our times: a REAL stalker would have no difficulty finding the putz.

Hunchback Jack wrote:The KJA Dune audiobooks are between 18 and 20 hours, I think.

Hunters: 20.5 hours
Sandworms: 20 hours
Paul of Dune: 18.5 hours
Winds of Dune: 17.5 hours

So if he hikes 4 hours a day, it would take about a week to diktahike the book if he just read it out loud.

In fact, though, the most he claims to "write" on these excursions is just a few chapters, I think. Maybe as many as five, from memory (haven't checked). An experienced typist could type that up fairly quickly, particularly if they were used to his "writing style" - and they could be working while he was out diktahiking the next section of the book. He then later edits the text just enough to make it barely readable, and there you have another book in just a few months.

Actually, I'd double that time estimate, to allow for bathroom breaks and more bathroom breaks

But seriously, I'd double that time estimate, since he'd probably says a ton of crap that's even worse than what we've read in the finished products. And rearranging all the mishmash that comes out into semi-legible form simply can't be an easy task, and has to take a good amount of time - say about 3-4 hours per day for every 1-2 hours of dictation.

Plus, how fast is he really talking? Average speed in Canada and the US for conversational English is 200 words/minute (my wife is a court reporter, and this is the standard they have to reach to be able to catch the majority of people who speak in court, including doctors and lawyers who use improbably big words and concepts). I bet he talks waaaay less than that while hiking.

And then you have to factor in sickness, vacations, and any family issues, plus the big one: does he hike during bad weather (when it rains and during winter snows)?

Finally - he'd have to at least go through the motions of sending stuff to Brian and getting stuff back from him, right? If only to maintain the whole facade that Brian is a meaningful contributor?

grandmastercrafter wrote:But seriously, I'd double that time estimate, since he'd probably says a ton of crap that's even worse than what we've read in the finished products.

That's a scarey thought.

Ampoliros wrote:

chanilover wrote:He probably hikes to the nearest picnic spot, then sits on his arse eating his packed lunch while dictatign drivel into his machine for a couple of hours.

That could explain all the eating sounds that get edited out of the ARC's and uncorrected proof's.

That's Becca, acting as his "sounding board".

Right. Unless they are busy "brainstorming."

This is getting really gross.

Freakzilla wrote:I think he has a template that he just changes around. Kind of like Mad Libs.

http://www.j-paine.org/cgi-bin/spin.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

SF plot generator

Reloading this page will randomly generate the plot of a simple science-fiction story. (There is an Excel/Excelsior version of this generator at http://www.j-paine.org/excelsior/reposi ... index.html;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; and you can also try the Traveller game at http://www.j-paine.org/cgi-bin/traveller.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.)

Planet 9 of Alpha-Centauri is struck by a comet and everyone dies .
Earth is taken over by a time-travelling loony who returns to his youth and kills himself (I said he was a loony) .
Planet 9 of Alpha-Centauri falls toward the Sun and is visited by good robots who and are stopped by a logician who can't remember the Paradox of the Liar and gets killed .
Earth is invaded by nasty aliens and everyone dies .
Earth is struck by a comet and everyone dies .
Planet 9 of Alpha-Centauri is struck by a comet and is visited by good mutant brewers yeast cells who rewind time to before the disaster and give the secret of eternal life so everyone gets very bored and tries to forget this by drinking .

TheDukester wrote:Right. Unless they are busy "brainstorming."

or "riffing off each other"

lotek wrote:

TheDukester wrote:Right. Unless they are busy "brainstorming."

or "riffing off each other"

lotek wrote:

TheDukester wrote:Right. Unless they are busy "brainstorming."

or "riffing off each other"

No Becca, no one believes it's that big.

And that fucking jacket!

Such an awesome picture.

Keith looks bored ... and desperately trying to maintain some form of politeness, since it's his wife and all.

There's a pile of printer paper sitting in front of Becky. That just screams class.

And then there's The Jacket. The world's greatest International Best-Seller Author owns one fucking jacket. And a hobo would be embarrassed to wear it.

grandmastercrafter wrote:And then you have to factor in sickness, vacations, and any family issues, plus the big one: does he hike during bad weather (when it rains and during winter snows)?

Relevant to normal human beings but completely irrelevant to The Writing Machine.

He has continued Twatting through his own illnesses (he'd be that heart-attack guy all over again, you know?) and edited some shit while sitting with Jabecca in the waiting room and while she was in surgery to correct some foot thing.

Vacations? He claims to work during his vacations and trips, and has blahgged that he doesn't know how to just "do nothing".

Family issues (stepson's shotgun wedding and birth of the resultant step-grandchild) are just more grist for the story-grinder. He works everything in somewhere eventually, Twats about stuff as it happens.

And he has repeated mentioned bundling up and hiking about in the snow (at least).

HE SIMPLY ISN'T HUMAN.

is it me or does K look strangely skinny on that pic?
And that haunted look? Does that spell reality check or what?

SandChigger wrote:He has continued Twatting through his own illnesses (he'd be that heart-attack guy all over again, you know?) and edited some shit while sitting with Jabecca in the waiting room and while she was in surgery to correct some foot thing.

The Real Life twattings are his best ones, by far. He is always just so annoyed when life gets in the way of his faux-writing and editing-while-watching-DVDs routine.

"Family member in for life-saving surgery. Sigh. Was planning to key in Becky's 13th-draft correx for Book 5 of my thing with the ships today."

SandChigger wrote:

grandmastercrafter wrote:And then you have to factor in sickness, vacations, and any family issues, plus the big one: does he hike during bad weather (when it rains and during winter snows)?

Relevant to normal human beings but completely irrelevant to The Writing Machine.

HE SIMPLY ISN'T HUMAN.

<- kinda like this guy in many ways...

That's interesting info - hard to estimate time spent dictating then, eh? Maybe he can twat about time estimates that we can punch into our equations - do we need to twat him and ask for it? He'll probably get caught out in a lie, since hard numbers are hard to fudge when you have a ton of error-checking individuals ready to pounce