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Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 08:26
by lotek
Dear Sandrider,
I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)
I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...
So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.
Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?
dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA
ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 08:34
by Jabecca
lotek wrote:Dear Sandrider,
I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)
I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...
So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.
Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?
dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA
ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?
Dear Bitch
Get off the internet and get back into bed!
Momma's still hungry!
Licky Licky
GA
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 10:01
by Seraphan
lotek wrote:on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 10:06
by lotek
Seraphan wrote:lotek wrote:on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
I think I outsmarted myself(again)as I hadn't seen the potentiel for double entendre in that sentence
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 11:21
by Tleszer
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 11:28
by lotek
Jabecca wrote:Dear Bitch
Get off the internet and get back into bed!
Momma's still hungry! I bet you are :p
Licky Licky Scary!!!
GA
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 11:49
by inhuien
lotek wrote:Jabecca wrote:Dear Bitch
Get off the internet and get back into bed!
Momma's still hungry! I bet you are :p
Licky Licky Scary!!!
GAG
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 12:13
by chanilover
Poor Jabecca. She should stand behind those GOD HATES FAGS banner-waving clowns as proof that he ain't that keen on straights either.
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 12:30
by lotek
chanilover wrote: Poor Jabecca. She should stand behind those GOD HATES FAGS banner-waving clowns as proof that he ain't that keen on straights either.
(I didn't do it just nicked it from some website)
I know it was easy but I ain't
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 13:37
by SandRider
lotek wrote:Dear Sandrider,
I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)
I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...
So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.
Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?
dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA
ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?
Dear "KJA",
You state that your problem is that you fear you cannot perform your "husbandly" duties with
your "wife", because the digital recorder you had been having an intimate relationship with might
record the act and play it back to torment you.
Yet in the previous paragraph, you state that the digitial recorder had fallen to its death.
I really can't help you if you can't keep the details of your story straight.
Normally, I would suggest professional counseling to deal with your "truth & honesty" issues,
as well as your "consistencies" issues, however, a person must be willing to admit there are
problems first, and I fear you would deny there is anything wrong with you and so subvert
the methods of help available.
So the best I can do is tell to Sit Down & Shut the Fuck Up.
Yours in Christ,
The SandRider
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 07 Jan 2010 13:51
by lotek
SandRider wrote:So the best I can do is tell to Sit Down & Shut the Fuck Up.
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 09 Jan 2010 05:56
by trang
isnt that phrase, "sit down, have a smile, and a cup of shut the fuck up?"
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 09 Jan 2010 06:37
by inhuien
Tut tut, Silly trang. SR don't do the smiling thang.
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 23 Apr 2012 22:22
by SandRider
:archival note:
this thread came about in response to some off-the-cuff post I made @the time,
(and someone else can SEARCH and find that post, WTF am I, the Library of Congress?
do your own homework ...) IN WHICH I SAID that "any questions" could be directed
to "Dear Sandrider (C/O your local newspaper)", which my friend, lotek, He of the
Undecided Nationality, posed the above question (in the the semi-guise of Keith,
altho it did sound more like (my) Spanky McDune) ... &thus did hilarity ensue ....
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 23 Apr 2012 22:58
by Freakzilla
SandRider wrote: which my friend, lotek, He of the Undecided Nationality
He's obviously Irish.
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 23 Apr 2012 23:05
by SandRider
that was uncalled for ...
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 23 Apr 2012 23:12
by Freakzilla
Call me Scottish...
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 23 Apr 2012 23:20
by SandRider
I as well,of course, but you can't be layin the Downfall of Western
Civilisation on the poor Irish w/o taking into consideration the culpability
of the Roman Catholic Church, she who what led our gud Celtic Brethren
astray in the First ....
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 24 Apr 2012 05:12
by lotek
the only good st patrick is a drunk st patrick
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 24 Apr 2012 17:02
by gurensan
Freakzilla wrote:SandRider wrote: which my friend, lotek, He of the Undecided Nationality
He's obviously Irish.
Well he's definitely not Amish. They don't believe in dick taters.
Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)
Posted: 25 Apr 2012 05:49
by lotek
I believe in oak tatters.
