Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Or the French word for the Dutch translation of juggler.

Or the Swahili word for "hack."

(I've also heard that it means "Fuzzy-Headed Zombie" in Mandarin.)

It's Tagalog for "man with small penis who sports an unconvincing attempt to cover his bald head with a few lame strands of hair".

it's nepalese for that horrible slimey goo that consistently leaks from male dogs' privates, even though there is no consistency to this man!

Somehow no one mentioned that Jongleurs are already present in the short story "Dune: A Whisper of Caladan Seas", which is supposedly the first thing the duo wrote in the Duniverse.

Mmmm ... memory blockage!

I'm still trying to forget that one.

I don't recall having seen that claim (that it's the first thing they wrote) before, but as it presents a perfect introduction to everything that is wrong with McDune (the ham-fisted insertion of "creative" KJA elements, like these Jongleurs & their Star Wars mind-over-matter psychic powers, with little regard to the effect they have on the Duniverse as a whole), I'm surprised it didn't serve as more of a warning of what was to come.

SandChigger wrote:I don't recall having seen that claim (that it's the first thing they wrote) before, but as it presents a perfect introduction to everything that is wrong with McDune (the ham-fisted insertion of "creative" KJA elements, like these Jongleurs & their Star Wars mind-over-matter psychic powers, with little regard to the effect they have on the Duniverse as a whole), I'm surprised it didn't serve as more of a warning of what was to come.

I think it was either in Road to Dune or in some online source I don't remember that I read about this story being the first thing they wrote together. I totally agree that it perfectly reflects everything about the new books, and my personal impression after reading it was "This is it, they ruined Dune". I'm certain that should I have read it before any other book by BH/KJA, my attitude towards the rest of their writing would have been much worse. (This is probably because of the length, the concentration of McDune stuff is significantly higher; I'd even say it reaches critical proportions )

Its worse than Marie Fenring?


NEVER FORGET NEVER FORGIVE! DEATH TO THE ULTRA-TODDLER!

It definitely pre-dates HA.

I didn't read it until RtD - in the beginning I really liked the plot synopsis, to me it sounded like the kind of story they should have written. I'm still not quite sure how they managed to fuck Dune up so much.

DuneFishUK wrote:It definitely pre-dates HA.

I didn't read it until RtD - in the beginning I really liked the plot synopsis, to me it sounded like the kind of story they should have written. I'm still not quite sure how they managed to fuck Dune up so much.

They hired KJA. Duh.

From The Road to Dune:



(Sorry about the image; don't have my pdf handy).

HBJ

From the intro to the story in RtD, right? Probably never bothered reading it.

So this is another point where the Official Hagiography differs from reality, eh.

To wit: they way they tell it, KJA contacted Brian, they hit it off, they got together for a weekend of brainstorming at Brian's and planned out the House books and prepared to write House Atreides, then the estate lawyers contacted Brian, etc etc etc. Writing Whisper never seems to get mentioned.

It must be rough keeping all the details straight.

Particularly when half the details are made up.

HBJ

... and when one of the parties is a pathological liar and the other is a brain-dead, nappy-haired zombie.

... and "dark" is the most frequently used word to describe the Dune-franchise money-train.

... and no one could possible juggle all those loose ends ... except a super psychic McDUNE JONGLEUR!!!

(Um ... freaky scary new avatar there, Greenie. )

Why, thank you, Mr. Kitty!

Oh, please, call me Hello!

SandChigger wrote:... and no one could possible juggle all those loose ends ... except a super psychic McDUNE JONGLEUR!!!

Uh, don't cut them short! They are super duper psychic McDune Jongleur NINJA CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to go on topic here, but every time I see this headline, I think of the very simple and short answer:

Because that was the best they could come up with!


Given the Dune universe's sweeping history, complex relations and interesting characters, the best these two hacks could think of was introducing totally unrelated magical singing, dancing, storytelling clowns...

And explaining as much of the originals (which they do not understand) as they could conceivably get away with (and then some) using said clowns...

In young-adult action romps contradicting canon because what the fuck would there be to write, if we could not write about how young Paul averted who-gives-a-shit and Duncan bloodies his sword before, during and after various massacres...

Because what is hard science fiction about, if not gore and death and supercharacters being super-evil or just plain super-duper...?


I'm rambling. Think about it. This was the best they could come up with! Makes you shiver (or maybe that is the minus one thousand degrees here in the cold north of Denmark)

Lundse wrote:Sorry to go on topic here, but every time I see this headline, I think of the very simple and short answer:

Because that was the best they could come up with!


Given the Dune universe's sweeping history, complex relations and interesting characters, the best these two hacks could think of was introducing totally unrelated magical singing, dancing, storytelling clowns...

Don't forget! That would be:

. . .totally unrelated super duper magical singing, dancing, storytelling ninja clowns...

You are correct, that was the bust they could come up with......that is of course.....untill they came up with ..........................................................GUILT CASTING!

Lundse wrote:Sorry to go on topic here, but every time I see this headline, I think of the very simple and short answer:

Because that was the best they could come up with!


Given the Dune universe's sweeping history, complex relations and interesting characters, the best these two hacks could think of was introducing totally unrelated magical singing, dancing, storytelling clowns...

And explaining as much of the originals (which they do not understand) as they could conceivably get away with (and then some) using said clowns...

In young-adult action romps contradicting canon because what the fuck would there be to write, if we could not write about how young Paul averted who-gives-a-shit and Duncan bloodies his sword before, during and after various massacres...

Because what is hard science fiction about, if not gore and death and supercharacters being super-evil or just plain super-duper...?


I'm rambling. Think about it. This was the best they could come up with! Makes you shiver (or maybe that is the minus one thousand degrees here in the cold north of Denmark)

Don't forget that Combover's ideas of "hard" science fiction also include FTL travel by rocket-propelled spacecraft, superweapons that have no way of being powered by the laws of physics, and lots of sex with "thunderous sighs."

and sandworms that live in water and shit spice...

It's "hard" science fiction because he gives himself a raging chubby thinking about how POLISHED his dicktahiked prose is and how generally clever he is.

well I don't want to imagine what he'd been juggling with