Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549

[inhuien]

You got it .

[trang]

:::Edited from previous to kinder and gentler:::

Hopefully that Meteor shows up in the front row? ends the madness.

[SandChigger]

Talk of bombs is NOT funny.


But praying for a large bear-shaped meteorite to smash the stage area in front of the $75 VIP seating is.

[Ampoliros]

We could make a large paper-mache Bear-Meteor and pay for it to have VIP status. Add in a webcam and speakerphone so we could call in questions.

Does anyone see the Bear-Meteor being added into the Dune Mythos if we keep up the spirit of its existence?

[SandChigger]

I'm sure Kevin will find a way to work it in, somehow. (He's limber that way.)

I think it would be hilarious if we could register and send a mannikin in a wheel chair or on a stand with rollers.

As a representative of the average attendee: brainless, plastic, no talent.

[trang]

Waxed representations of each of the 'verses Kevin has stolen into maybe?

[Ampoliros]

So should the mannequin be wearing a signed Sand-Chigger shirt or does one of us have a Paul of Dune tour shirt.

I guess the question is: if we paid for it and put it in, would KJA object or consider us suckers because we paid to get in?

[Omphalos]

I'd like to see a list of the "authors" who are signing up for this. I'll bet that there are more zeros there then in the average lottery win.

[Seraphan]

I'd like to see a list of the "authors" who are signing up for this. I'll bet that there are more zeros there then in the average lottery win.

He shoots, he scores!

[TheDukester]

Schedule's up!

http://www.wordfire.com/kjablog/?p=587" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My personal favorite:

Balancing Acts: Writing World & Real World
While working to become a successful professional author, how do you juggle the conflicting demands of jobs, family life, and other commitments? We’ll show you how to be productive and focused even with the distractions of the real world.

Considering neither Anderjacket nor Becky have actually, you know, had a job in many, many years, I can only speculate as to where this "expertise" might be coming from. And considering TheKeith has no children — or even siblings, apparently — I wonder what he has to say about "family" that will be enlightening?

Seriously, anyone who would actually pay money to hear these clowns speak is just a complete moron.

[TheDukester]

Wait, wait! Make that one my second favorite. Nothing could ever top this:

Two Heads Are Better than One: Collaborative Writing
Discover the advantages, and challenges, of working with another author, how to draw upon areas of expertise, and how to work smoothly together in a highly charged creative environment.

"Highly charged creative environment"? When? Where? At one point has Keith experienced such a thing?

Surely, he can't be referring to working with ... Brian Herbert?

[SandRider]

I read thru this thread earlier today, still catching up on what I missed.

this has been said before, but I think the main reason I keep coming back here
is that not a month goes by without this twat doing something really,
really stupid in public, and thinking it's the bees knees.

where is the ridicule-Keith's-blahg thread about the trip to North Africa
in November ? every other paragraph has got some retarded shit just
begging to be mocked.

he seems to be a fucking bottomless pit of stupid.

priceless.

and Freak, sometimes I am sorry that your idea for real Dune forum
got hijacked into a "tehKJA" bitch-slap-fest, but damn. How can you not
jump all over this shitheel when he keeps sticking his head out of the hole to be shot ?

all the time. every few days the asshole-switch gets tripped in his head, and
he has to show the whole world. what kinda retarded psychosis is that ?

we really do need to rope-in a real psychologist here - I know a real good
one in town, but I'd be too embarrassed to ask him to log on here and read thru
this stuff. Esp. my rantings. Hell, he's on the Chamber of Commerce board
and a past mayor, I think. "Hunted quail" with George Junior in Crawford. I still
owe him money, too, but he screwed me on a deal in 93, and he ain't gettin paid.

anyway, I'd like to see a professional evaluation of the mental state
of Keith J. AnderJacket, based on his public web-postings.

[SandChigger]

How can you not
jump all over this shitheel when he keeps sticking his head out of the hole to be shot ?

Well, he can't very well do that now that Byron has let him back in to post over at DumbFuckCentral, now can he?

[Seraphan]

I remember that GamePlayer did a really good psych evaluation.

[SandRider]

How can you not
jump all over this shitheel when he keeps sticking his head out of the hole to be shot ?

Well, he can't very well do that now that Byron has let him back in to post over at DumbFuckCentral, now can he?

ya-whut?

I was talking about Keith, and how I'm sorry Freak's Dune board has become a mock-KJA board,
but it's hard not to mock KJA when he does something mockable on a regular basis, week
in and week out.

[SandRider]

I remember that GamePlayer did a really good psych evaluation.

right, and it was very informative and mostly likely spot-on,
but I'd like to get a licensed clinical diagnosis of the fucktard.

[Ampoliros]

I would argue that that is possible the heaviest damage that KJA has inflicted upon the Dune Community: Forcing us to use a good 50% of our allotted Dune focus on rendering out his clown act and another large percentage mocking his ignorance toward his own complete and utter assy sillyness.


So Yeah, I apologize for my own part in making Freaks board a bash-KJA site. But it usually is the leading news in "Today in the Duniverse".

[A Thing of Eternity]

I would argue that that is possible the heaviest damage that KJA has inflicted upon the Dune Community: Forcing us to use a good 50% of our allotted Dune focus on rendering out his clown act and another large percentage mocking his ignorance toward his own complete and utter assy sillyness.


So Yeah, I apologize for my own part in making Freaks board a bash-KJA site. But it usually is the leading news in "Today in the Duniverse".

I agree, though I'd probably put that as second place for damage, the damage to the written Dune universe, characters, plot and themes remain first in my mind.

[TheDukester]

Well, the problem — to state the perfectly obvious — is that there's not a lot of Frank Herbert news out there. So, unless we're in the Reading Group threads (great threads, BTW) or find some other way to talk about the original books, we're sort of stuck with Keith and The Other Guy. They're the ones providing all the Dune news, for better or worse.*

The second problem is that TheKJA is a hack and a jackass who basically invites criticism. If the Dune series were in the hands of a competent author who also occasionally acted like a human being, there would be no need for the critical threads here. They simply wouldn't exist.

But the reality is grim: Anderjacket is a gaping asshole, his "writing partner" is a brain-dead zombie selling out his own father, none of us are allowed to vent at the official Dune boards, and Frank Herbert has been dead for 25 years. Add it all up and you get Keith-bashing.

*And it's "worse"

[Ampoliros]

Criticism would be replaced by critique, and those threads would be civil, especially if the author responded in a constructive way to the community.

[SandRider]

so ... basically ... we're blaming Keith for Freak's Dune board
turning into an Keith-haters board ....


god, I hate that bastard.

[SandRider]

Working closely together, the five writers participating in the SuperStars Writing Seminar—Eric Flint, Dave Wolverton (aka David Farland), Brandon Sanderson, Rebecca Moesta, and myself—have developed the full curriculum of the talks and panels we will be giving during the three-day session.

As I’ve described in previous posts, the seminar will be held at the Pasadena Convention Center from March 19-21. This is an in-depth, no-nonsense, nuts & bolts workshop for serious writers, both aspiring writers and already-published writers who want to push their careers to a new level. Look at the list of topics below. We hope you’ll want to join us. http://www.superstarswritingseminars.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

March 19 (Friday)

Econ 201 for Writers: Economics of Commercial Publishing
Understand the foundation of how commercial publishing works, from advances, royalty rates, printing, bookselling, distribution and returns. What do all those line items on a royalty statement mean?

Inside Editors: How editors look at manuscripts, novels & short fiction
Learn how to make a great first impression when your story or novel lands on an editor’s desk, how editors look at submissions, and how you can get an edge on the slushpile competition.

“Dirty Secrets”—What you need to know about being a Professional Author
What are the key characteristics that separate the amateurs from the pros? How to look, act, and *be* a professional and how to be taken seriously in the publishing world.

From Slushpile to #1 New York Times Bestseller in 4 Years
Discover the steps to success by following the true story of how an unknown author went from “wannabe” to unseating Dan Brown in the top slot of the New York Times bestseller list.

Intellectual Property: How to Exploit Yours
Your creation can be more than just words in print. Learn how to explore other options to expand your intellectual property, from graphic novels to games to merchandizing.

Balancing Acts: Writing World & Real World
While working to become a successful professional author, how do you juggle the conflicting demands of jobs, family life, and other commitments? We’ll show you how to be productive and focused even with the distractions of the real world.

Brainstorming Improv: Real-Time Creation of a Story
An interactive audience experience where the Superstar authors guide you through plotting and brainstorming to come up with story after story.

March 20 (Saturday)

Agents: The “A” Word
What can an agent do for you? Does a new writer really need one? How do you get an agent? Straight talk from our experts on good and bad agents.

Networking for Writers
Learn how to make connections, be in the right place at the right time, and make sure your name pops into an editor’s mind when a new project is being considered.

Self-Promotion for Authors
How do you call attention to your book, once it’s published? We’ll share our experiences in getting interviews and media coverage, online exposure, mailing lists, fan clubs, book signings, and effective promotional products.

Self-Publishing: Realities & Pitfalls
Alternatives abound for authors to publish and market their own books, bypassing traditional publishers. What are the realities of do-it-yourself publishing? Can you really land a contract from a major publisher on the basis of a self-published book?

Pitching the Big Proposal
You have your idea, your outline, your sample chapters. Understand what makes a good sales pitch, how to get editors, marketers, and publishers excited about your work even before you deliver the manuscript.

Two Heads Are Better than One: Collaborative Writing
Discover the advantages, and challenges, of working with another author, how to draw upon areas of expertise, and how to work smoothly together in a highly charged creative environment.

Autographing Session

Exclusive Saturday Dinner with the Speakers


March 21 (Sunday)

New Media: Using It to Get an Edge
Understand the potential of new technologies to open up unexpected avenues for promoting your book and advancing your career—blogs, websites, social networks, podcasts, e-mail blasts.

Movies, TV—and Authors
Learn how your book can attract the attention of filmmakers for TV or movies. Understand options, treatments, pitch sessions, and spec scripts.

E-Publishing
Online publishing is a direct way to bypass paper, printing, and distribution costs, but in many ways it is still uncharted territory. Learn the basics of e-publishing, e-books, and the economic advantages and pitfalls.

Anatomy of a Major Book Release
A publishing house prepares for the release of a book sometimes a year or more in advance. Learn the crucial milestones in the lead-up to your book’s appearance on the shelves and how you can take advantage of these key points.

Eleven Tips to Increase Your Writing Productivity
How can you be more productive amid the obligations of chaotic life? These eleven proven techniques used by bestselling authors will give you an inside track on how to produce, and publish, more of your work.



Note, the Early Bird special expired at the end of the year and prices went up $50 on Jan 1, but we are still offering the package at substantially lower than the full price. http://www.superstarswritingseminars.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

tl;dr &etc.

I haven't even read thru this, it was stuck in my RSS feed reader,
but I bet you people can come up with atleast 10 things to mock
before I log in again ....

[Ampoliros]

If you Insist...

Working closely together, the five writers participating in the SuperStars Writing Seminar—Eric Flint, Dave Wolverton (aka David Farland), Brandon Sanderson, Rebecca Moesta, and myself—have developed the full curriculum of the talks and panels we will be giving during the three-day session.

As I’ve described in previous posts, the seminar will be held at the Pasadena Convention Center from March 19-21. This is an in-depth, no-nonsense, nuts & bolts workshop for serious writers, both aspiring writers and already-published writers who want to push their careers to a new level. Look at the list of topics below. We hope you’ll want to join us. http://www.superstarswritingseminars.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

March 19 (Friday)

Econ 201 for Writers: Economics of Commercial Publishing Ooo! 201! we advance straight to Sophmore learning first thing!
Understand the foundation of how commercial publishing works, from advances, royalty rates, printing, bookselling, distribution and returns. What do all those line items on a royalty statement mean? Well heavy returns means the book you printed is being used more often as a doorstop and has been returned to the publisher for price devaluation.

Inside Editors: How editors look at manuscripts, novels & short fiction
Learn how to make a great first impression when your story or novel lands on an editor’s desk, how editors look at submissions, and how you can get an edge on the slushpile competition. Blowjobs help. That and its really important to find an illiterate fanboy for an idio...er i mean editor.

“Dirty Secrets”—What you need to know about being a Professional Author
What are the key characteristics that separate the amateurs from the pros? How to look, act, and *be* a professional and how to be taken seriously in the publishing world. Also, we'll have Guest Star and Former Vice President Dick Cheney to discuss Business Ethics!

From Slushpile to #1 New York Times Bestseller in 4 Years
Discover the steps to success by following the true story of how an unknown author went from “wannabe” to unseating Dan Brown in the top slot of the New York Times bestseller list. Who? I'm sorry but is there someone on your panel that is more of a household name or successful author than Dan 136 weeks on the Best-seller List Brown?

Intellectual Property: How to Exploit Yours
Your creation can be more than just words in print. Learn how to explore other options to expand your intellectual property, from graphic novels to games to merchandizing. ->"merchandising" you mean? Its called Spell checker. Might be an important part of your "seminar." Pretty basic, generic and universal tool on modern computers. Just sayin. Plus, who on your board has expanded to video games? With an original work?

Balancing Acts: Writing World & Real World
While working to become a successful professional author, how do you juggle the conflicting demands of jobs, family life, and other commitments? We’ll show you how to be productive and focused even with the distractions of the real world. Lol Juggle. I could look up a number of twats about how KJA runs off to the cabin for solotude, but that would take effort, and we've all seen em anyway.

Brainstorming Improv: Real-Time Creation of a Story
An interactive audience experience where the Superstar authors guide you through plotting and brainstorming to come up with story after story. Italian restaurant tablecloths will be provided.

March 20 (Saturday)

Agents: The “A” Word
What can an agent do for you? Does a new writer really need one? How do you get an agent? Straight talk from our experts on good and bad agents. Somehow I really doubt that Kev "NameDroper" Jackethack will be talking about 'bad' agents. But you know he'll bitch about bad editors that correct his spelling. Okay he might bitch about bad agents...

Networking for Writers
Learn how to make connections, be in the right place at the right time, and make sure your name pops into an editor’s mind when a new project is being considered. Blowjobs 201

Self-Promotion for Authors of DUNE
How do you call attention of DUNE to your book of DUNE, once it’s published? We’ll share our experiences of DUNE in getting interviews of DUNE and media coverage of DUNE, online exposure of DUNE, mailing lists of DUNE, fan clubs of DUNE, book signings of DUNE, and effective promotional products of DUNE of DUNE.

Self-Publishing: Realities & Pitfalls
Alternatives abound for authors to publish and market their own books, bypassing traditional publishers. What are the realities of do-it-yourself publishing? Can you really land a contract from a major publisher on the basis of a self-published book? Will anyone want to read your shit knowing that no publisher would touch it? Guest Speaker: Brian Herbert of DUNE!

Pitching the Big Proposal
You have your idea, your outline, your sample chapters. Understand what makes a good sales pitch, how to get editors, marketers, and publishers excited about your work even before you deliver the manuscript. Now lets brainstorm together, you start with your ideas, and I'll act amazed at how much what I've been thinking of (while listening to you talk) interacts and complements your ideas, which leads us too...

Two Heads Are Better than One: Collaborative Writing
Discover the advantages, and challenges, of working with another author, how to draw upon areas of expertise, and how to work smoothly together in a highly charged creative environment. Why bother wasting precious dictahicking time when you can just shmooze your way into someone else's already set up intellectual property! Remember, its not plagiarism if they pay you to steal their idea!

Autographing Session $10

Exclusive Saturday Dinner with the Speakers 24/25 spots still open and goin fast!


March 21 (Sunday)

New Media: Using It to Get an Edge
Understand the potential of new technologies to open up unexpected avenues for promoting your book and advancing your career—blogs, websites, social networks, podcasts, e-mail blasts. E-Tour of KJA Blog and Twats? A look at how much Dune Novels has grown in the past 10 years? Are you sure you want to do that? These people paid for...oh yeah they paid to be taught to write by KJA. Continue.

Movies, TV—and Authors
Learn how your book can attract the attention of filmmakers for TV or movies. Understand options, treatments, pitch sessions, and spec scripts. AKA how to get the rights to write quick, crap, and pulp novelizations and movie tie-ins.

E-Publishing
Online publishing is a direct way to bypass paper, printing, and distribution costs, but in many ways it is still uncharted territory. Learn the basics of e-publishing, e-books, and the economic advantages and pitfalls. Guarantee your shit won't last past the first EMP!

Anatomy of a Major Book Release
A publishing house prepares for the release of a book sometimes a year or more in advance. Learn the crucial milestones in the lead-up to your book’s appearance on the shelves and how you can take advantage of these key points. How to celebrate making progressively worse showings on the Bestseller list until you fade from view entirely!

Eleven Tips to Increase Your Writing Productivity
How can you be more productive amid the obligations of chaotic life? These eleven proven techniques used by bestselling authors will give you an inside track on how to produce, and publish, more of your work. Easy, with my new patented mad-libs author software, you too can be a published author. Simply input title, subject and setting variables or even hit randomize, hit the button, and pop in your favorite DVD. DING! thats the sound of another Bestseller!



Note, the Early Bird special expired at the end of the year and prices went up $50 on Jan 1, but we are still offering the package at substantially lower than the full price. Please, we really need your money, plus just imagine the damage it will do my ego if no one shows up. http://www.superstarswritingseminars.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[SandChigger]

From Slushpile to #1 New York Times Bestseller in 4 Years
Discover the steps to success by following the true story of how an unknown author went from “wannabe” to unseating Dan Brown in the top slot of the New York Times bestseller list. Who? I'm sorry but is there someone on your panel that is more of a household name or successful author than Dan 136 weeks on the Best-seller List Brown?

This is obviously about Brandon Sanderson. On his page on Wikipee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandon_Sanderson" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;), I don't see anything listed for before 2006, and I think I remember TheKJA Twatting something about him having unseated Brown.

With, of course, the first of the final books of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time, not something original. So just as he does with the effect of the name DUNE on the covers of the McDune shit, KJA is discounting the power of the pre-existing fanbase.

Fucking moron.

[lotek]

keith bashing is shooting fish in a barrel, easy, useless but fun impossible to resist
I sometimes wonder if all this is not some Ph K Dick style world where all the hack does is create a reality for us to express our thoughts in,
or that he is some kind of super troll that gets his kicks while making us rant about his every word...

and then I remember I actually read some of his crap, and that is proof enough he is truly stupid and that there is no hidden meaning or double entendre here, just plain old fashion dullness

So unless Freak wants us to stop(I hope he won't) I think the hack, bobo and their little princess friends are fair game and should be treated as such!

NEVER FORGIVE NEVER FORGET as some desert folk used to say
he has defiled Dune and he must pay for this desacration, or life has no meaning and good and bad are just words...


This said, I feel much better
Boy do I like ranting!

and consider yourselves lucky I'm sober

so ... basically ... we're blaming Keith for Freak's Dune board
turning into an Keith-haters board ....


god, I hate that bastard.

yup that is the kind of cirular logic stupid arseholes like him need to just exist