Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549

[Hunchback Jack]

What's staggering to me is that they clearly think the attendees won't be able to distinguish between success of franchise vs success of an original work ( ie a writer).

HBJ

[Ampoliros]

So are we going to start a pool on how many people actually sign up for it?

[DuneFishUK]

From Slushpile to #1 New York Times Bestseller in 4 Years
Discover the steps to success by following the true story of how an unknown author went from “wannabe” to unseating Dan Brown in the top slot of the New York Times bestseller list. Who? I'm sorry but is there someone on your panel that is more of a household name or successful author than Dan 136 weeks on the Best-seller List Brown?

This is obviously about Brandon Sanderson. On his page on Wikipee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandon_Sanderson" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;), I don't see anything listed for before 2006, and I think I remember TheKJA Twatting something about him having unseated Brown.

With, of course, the first of the final books of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time, not something original. So just as he does with the effect of the name DUNE on the covers of the McDune shit, KJA is discounting the power of the pre-existing fanbase.

Fucking moron.

Yes, it was - Wikipedia says:

"The Gathering Storm, like the previous four books in the series, entered the top of The New York Times Best Seller list for hardcover fiction for the week of November 6, 2009; ending Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol's seven-week reign. It dropped to the fourth position after one week."

Victory for the SUPERSTARS! ... or something.

[Ampoliros]

At least Sanderson has received some recognition for his own works. I've heard Etlantris is a decent read.

[TheDukester]

And isn't Keith being socially retarded yet again? Does Sanderson enjoy being called a "wannabe," do you think?

[SandRider]

So are we going to start a pool on how many people actually sign up for it?

I'd be for it, but I wouldn't know how to verify the actual sign-ups
versus the L.A. members of the KJASF that he'll send free passes to
to pad the audience (first row, anyway) for the photos for his blagh.

and anyway, without some kind of independent verification, you can't
believe what The Keith will say was the attendance.

maybe Omph could use his lawyerly credentials and call the convention center
and ask to get one of their staff to pop in and get a head-count. say he's
doing independent market research, or is from the FBI looking for child predators.

[Omphalos]

Im pretty sure asking questions like that of a mass public venue will trigger some sort of terrorist alert. Id find a bunch of real FBI agents with some shiny chrome jewelery asking me if I want to go for a "drive" with them. No thanks.

[Eyes High]

Im pretty sure asking questions like that of a mass public venue will trigger some sort of terrorist alert. Id find a bunch of real FBI agents with some shiny chrome jewelery asking me if I want to go for a "drive" with them. No thanks.

Yeah, we can't lose our Omph. Gotta keep him around.

So are we going to start a pool on how many people actually sign up for it?

I'd be for it, but I wouldn't know how to verify the actual sign-ups
versus the L.A. members of the KJASF that he'll send free passes to
to pad the audience (first row, anyway) for the photos for his blagh.

and anyway, without some kind of independent verification, you can't
believe what The Keith will say was the attendance.

maybe Omph could use his lawyerly credentials and call the convention center
and ask to get one of their staff to pop in and get a head-count. say he's
doing independent market research, or is from the FBI looking for child predators.

I say 5

[Serkanner]

I just received an email with a personal message by KJHackeson to join the "Superstars writing seminars". I want to send him a reply but don't feel very creative at the moment to write an OH worthy message. I could do with some input from you people.

[SandRider]

okay, hold on now, you got plenty of time to craft a fucking bombshell.

first off, go back thru this thread and make notes on the pertinent facts of the development
of this "intensive, no-nonsense 3-day seminar", like when they realized they had to pay for an
extra day @ whatever bullshit convention this is and started slapping on the extra "lectures" and
VIP dinners & such ....

also, we should go thru each of the "no-nonsense" classes and ask snarky and rude questions about each of them.

work in a side-ways jab at Becky concerning the dinner - is it a buffet, or do I need to bring a
rodeo clown to distract her from my plate ?

this should probably be discussed in the top-secret he-man-woman-haters clubhouse,
but let's it do it out here in the open and see if we can flush out some lurkers .... (Hi, Merritt ! Hey, check your PM box here, asshole !)

[SandRider]

and send a copy of that invite to Andrew Ian Dodge
http://www.andrewiandodge.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Jan 29
And Glory “selling paragraph”…
Category: Andrew's Tales, Books

This is the bit that gets people interested in my forthcoming novel.

The year is 2034. Power lies in Europe with the bureaucrats in Brussels and London is the centre for the Western Provinces.

The Supremo Manipulator of this conglomerate of nations is Pius. With no religious connections and a diminishing hold on power the Union is sustained by nepotism, violence and musical chairs of political appointees. The disintegration of the Union is imminent.

Rob, an English tech nerd together with his accomplice David, have to use their cyborg intelligence to survive in this oppressive Euro society in the Western Provinces. The assassination of Teresa, Rob’s girlfriend, and a busload of tourists along with the murder of a Czech student at Hull European University, provide the catalyst for Rob and David’s dangerous involvement. Together with their minders, Michaela and Kiara, they head full speed into their deadly adventure. Death is catching.

With a touch of humor, a satirical political edge, characters that you come to know well and a flowing writing style take the reader through a techno-thriller deep into the 21st century. We see the ambivalence of the revolutionaries, who never intended serious action, faced with orders to destroy and kill. Europe will never be the same again …

[TheDukester]

work in a side-ways jab at Becky concerning the dinner - is it a buffet, or do I need to bring a
rodeo clown to distract her from my plate ?

*snicker* Nice one.

Serkanner, the SandRider is correct: you've got some time to do some crafting here. Just re-read the thread, not necessarily for the exact words, but for the tone of what we're saying. The vibe. The words behind the words, man. Someone pass that doobie over here.

You'll do just fine.

+++++

(And be sure to tell him that you specifically plan on taking pictures of the "crowds" at the seminars. See what he says about that.)

[SandChigger]

I read desperation. Anyone else?

"OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT WE'VE RESERVED THE FUCKING PASADENA CONVENTION CENTER FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS AND ONLY TEN PEOPLE OH GOD DID YOU HEAR ME TEN PEOPLE HAVE SIGNED UP OH GOD OH GOD OH SSSSSSHIIIIIIIIT!!!"

I LIKE it!

[Ampoliros]

Naw he just over valued his fame, thats all. By a few thousand dollars...

[SandChigger]

We seriously have to come up with a way of finding out how many people really attend.

Anyone got friends or family in Pasadena who could be conned into going by with a camera?

(I'd suggest we take up a collection to send someone ... but I just can't get past the moral hurdle of giving that much money to those leeches.)

[Ampoliros]

Especially if our plant was the only person to show up.

The Amp tarot says 2 VIP, 5 others. At least 1 asks for a refund because they enforce the VIP first row rule unless people upgrade and ask them to sit in the second row. The VIP's pick Applebee's from the list of 'upscale' restaurants. Of the 7 attendees, only 6 come back the second and third days and 4 complete the entire event.

[Omphalos]

Someone should call becca and see how low they really will go.

[SandRider]

I'll go if they fly me out there (first class)
pick me up in a limo full of Malibu Hookers,
rent me a condo in Venice, and pay me
$10 for every word I have to listen to Keith say ...

[Tleszer]

$10 for every word I have to listen to Keith say ...

You'd be rich!

[SandChigger]

Someone should call becca and see how low they really will go.

Is she really the one to ask?

I mean, judging from what she has settled for, it looks like she has her bar set WAY TOO low already.

[Freakzilla]

ZING!

[SandChigger]

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all ... no, actually it's supposed to snow so I'm heading home NOW.

[SandRider]

Keith twits :

TheKJA: Free Drawing for 3-Day pass to Superstars Writing Seminar. Contest ends Sunday: http://www.superstarswritingseminars.com/freeticket/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[TheDukester]

And the desperation officially begins ...

How's the sign-up sheet looking there, Kevvie? Five paid? Seven, maybe?

Tool.

[SandChigger]

Ah, should have read this thread first!

Yeah, they're starting to get really desperate. How long before they start cutting prices?

(Imagine all the disgruntled wannabes they'd have on their hands then. No way they dare go that route! )