In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Moderators: Omphalos, Freakzilla, ᴶᵛᵀᴬ
- Phaedrus
- Posts: 551
- Joined: 09 Feb 2008 04:35
In Case of Religious War against Computers...
So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.
So far, I have:
-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.
What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?
Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.
So far, I have:
-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.
What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?
Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.
You aren't thinking or really existing unless you're willing to risk even your own sanity in the judgment of your existence.
- Redstar
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
If a Butlerian Jihad were to occur, I imagine it would be effectively instantaneous by triggering an EMP that crashes all the banks and computers, forcing a depression that would take forever to recover from. A similar scenario occurs in Fitzpatrick's War, which keeps satellites permanently placing a dampening field over the earth to prevent tech from working.
An abacus is all I can really think of, though I'd save that for the dominating class of Math-Men.
An abacus is all I can really think of, though I'd save that for the dominating class of Math-Men.
- lotek
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Pulse Grenades:
From Fallout 3An electromagnetic pulse grenade, generating an intense magnetic field on detonation. Doesn't affect biological creatures. Contact fuse.
Spice is the worm's gonads.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Hey, Phaedrus, you prodigal SOB! (=Son of Butler?! ) Where the hell you been?
You better be prepared to use that ball bat to crack my head and put me down, cause from my cold dead hand is the only way you're going to pry this mouse! I'm with the machines! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
You better be prepared to use that ball bat to crack my head and put me down, cause from my cold dead hand is the only way you're going to pry this mouse! I'm with the machines! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Would you have condoms so when humans inevitably start sexing out of frustration, you don't knock up just any old broad, or would you try and impregnate as many womens as possible to further our ranks?
This is imporant, please answer in explicit detail.
J/K. Or am I?
This is imporant, please answer in explicit detail.
J/K. Or am I?
- lotek
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
see now you've scared every one off with you straightforward attitude to sex
(or maybe sandrider's asleep right now)
(or maybe sandrider's asleep right now)
Spice is the worm's gonads.
- inhuien
- Posts: 3643
- Joined: 09 Feb 2008 05:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
It's the ambiguity caused but the final question that is my get out clause.
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I know, my bad.
I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV.
I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV.
- Redstar
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Without significant technology running the hospitals, we'd see a dramatic increase in infant mortality. Plus most people are idiots and believe old wives' tales as far as pregnancy, birthing, and child-rearing. We can fuck all we want in a post-tech world and most likely still see a decrease in population.
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
That's not saying very much for "mother's intuition" eh?
- inhuien
- Posts: 3643
- Joined: 09 Feb 2008 05:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
And we'd all be dead by 30, most likely by absences and bad breath.
- Freakzilla
- Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
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- Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I'm saving all the copper wire and magnets I can so after the apocylyps I can build a waterwheel next to a stream and have it power a generator to run my computers.
All my books and porn are digital, what else am I to do?
My kids will establish an armed perimeter to blast any of you Ludites who come near.
All my books and porn are digital, what else am I to do?
My kids will establish an armed perimeter to blast any of you Ludites who come near.
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- Freakzilla
- Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
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- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
- Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Come over.Arrrmanda wrote:I know, my bad.
I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV.
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- SandRider
- Watermaster
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.
So far, I have:
-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.
What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?
Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.
you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- A Thing of Eternity
- Posts: 6090
- Joined: 08 Apr 2008 15:35
- Location: Calgary Alberta
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
SandRider wrote:kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.
So far, I have:
-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.
What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?
Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.
you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I don't even know what to say in this thread any more. I think I would probably kill my fiance within 10 minutes of trying to use a real map.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
He's that bad at reading them?
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
No way I would wall myself in a compound. I'd take to the sands and deliver death from stealthily hidden positions. Eventually though, because of my politically centrist view point, I would become the living embodiment of the mind-machine interface. And Im sure in the process I would piss everyone off on both sides. That's kind of what I live for, so I think that would be kewl.
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I would loot the shit out of Target then make my base in Skywalker Ranch. You guys aren't invited sorry.
- Redstar
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I live near a forest. I could probably camp out there until things die down, though with no Wi-Fi I wouldn't get to check on KJA's Twitter updates.
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
Not to mention...SNAKES!
-
- Posts: 158
- Joined: 11 Aug 2009 20:13
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
We have a camp literally in the middle of no-where. I think that's a good enough place to hide till things calm down....
-
- Administrator
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- Joined: 17 Feb 2008 18:44
- Location: Den Haag - The Netherlands
Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
I'm doomed ... don't even have a basement to hide in.
"... the mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience."
“There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”
Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
and wrote a Dune Novel."
“There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”
Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
and wrote a Dune Novel."
- SandRider
- Watermaster
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- Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?
so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?
so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
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Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...
SandRider wrote:awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?
so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?
I saw Zombieland last week. Loved it.