Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.

If a Butlerian Jihad were to occur, I imagine it would be effectively instantaneous by triggering an EMP that crashes all the banks and computers, forcing a depression that would take forever to recover from. A similar scenario occurs in Fitzpatrick's War, which keeps satellites permanently placing a dampening field over the earth to prevent tech from working.

An abacus is all I can really think of, though I'd save that for the dominating class of Math-Men.

Pulse Grenades:

An electromagnetic pulse grenade, generating an intense magnetic field on detonation. Doesn't affect biological creatures. Contact fuse.

From Fallout 3

Hey, Phaedrus, you prodigal SOB! (=Son of Butler?! ) Where the hell you been?

You better be prepared to use that ball bat to crack my head and put me down, cause from my cold dead hand is the only way you're going to pry this mouse! I'm with the machines! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Would you have condoms so when humans inevitably start sexing out of frustration, you don't knock up just any old broad, or would you try and impregnate as many womens as possible to further our ranks?

This is imporant, please answer in explicit detail.


J/K. Or am I?

see now you've scared every one off with you straightforward attitude to sex

(or maybe sandrider's asleep right now)

It's the ambiguity caused but the final question that is my get out clause.

I know, my bad.

I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV.

Without significant technology running the hospitals, we'd see a dramatic increase in infant mortality. Plus most people are idiots and believe old wives' tales as far as pregnancy, birthing, and child-rearing. We can fuck all we want in a post-tech world and most likely still see a decrease in population.

That's not saying very much for "mother's intuition" eh?

And we'd all be dead by 30, most likely by absences and bad breath.

I'm saving all the copper wire and magnets I can so after the apocylyps I can build a waterwheel next to a stream and have it power a generator to run my computers.

All my books and porn are digital, what else am I to do?

My kids will establish an armed perimeter to blast any of you Ludites who come near.

Arrrmanda wrote:I know, my bad.

I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV.

Come over.

Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.

kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.

you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?

SandRider wrote:

Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.

kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.

you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?

I don't even know what to say in this thread any more. I think I would probably kill my fiance within 10 minutes of trying to use a real map.

He's that bad at reading them?

No way I would wall myself in a compound. I'd take to the sands and deliver death from stealthily hidden positions. Eventually though, because of my politically centrist view point, I would become the living embodiment of the mind-machine interface. And Im sure in the process I would piss everyone off on both sides. That's kind of what I live for, so I think that would be kewl.

I would loot the shit out of Target then make my base in Skywalker Ranch. You guys aren't invited sorry.

I live near a forest. I could probably camp out there until things die down, though with no Wi-Fi I wouldn't get to check on KJA's Twitter updates.

Not to mention...SNAKES!

We have a camp literally in the middle of no-where. I think that's a good enough place to hide till things calm down....

I'm doomed ... don't even have a basement to hide in.

awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?

so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?

SandRider wrote:awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?

so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?

I saw Zombieland last week. Loved it.