Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

I know I'm on the slow train here but I just realized that to integrate(too soft a word) his heresies into FH's world, JAKy boy has tried to make all of the real Dune pass for delusions and lies of Irulan...
Can anyone explain this without me having to read(and buy any more of that crap)?

I went through enough going up to Sandworms Of Dune and I don't remember any mention of that, which is not only a poor writing trick(but could have been accepted if it meant coming up with something really mind blowing_insert any pun based on wind), but it feels more like JaKs knows he's sooo far away from his league he can only destroy everything FH built in order to exist!
Anyway if you read this BH and JAK,this is for you, in the words of Duncan:

"You are a servant! You've sold Fremen for their water!"

nb: the amazon forums are amazing

YOU HAVE DAMP HANDS!

YOU WEAR A COLLAR!

well i was saving those for later but if you insist

Actually, it's a fairly brilliant move: Now, they can write whatever they want! If Frank's books were just "as told by Irulan," and Irulan may have embelleshed or omitted things to make "her" stories better, anything KJA and BH write can contradict Frank's work, because "well, Irulan was wrong, or she embelleshed her books, we're writing the truth."

I heard the next novel "Orlopp of Dune" (which tells the story of Dune from the point of view of Jamis's son) tells the truth about Dune, not Irulan's lies. IT turns out that Leto was actually an abusive man who beat and raped Jessica so that she'd produce a son, and Paul never had any real powers. He just snickered behind peoples back: "oooh, I can see the future, ooooh" Feyd was the true Quizatz Haderack (yes, Irulan got the spelling wrong, and changed her book so that her husband would be the KH. KJA/BH correct both errors in OoD.) Gurney was actually a woman, and Thufir's wife. Together with Jessica, they taught Paul how to be a liar and dupe the simpleton native population of Arrakis. Duncan was the real traitor, as everyone knows you can't overcome Suk conditioning, so saying it was Yueh made Irulan's story completely unbelievable. The Water of Life was actually blue Powerade, laced with LSD.

that last bit's true

Hmm.... I think I may need to invent a cocktail....
Water of Life:
2 parts Blue Curacao
1 part Vodka (or maybe Bacardi 151...more poisonous)

RedHeadKevin wrote:Hmm.... I think I may need to invent a cocktail....
Water of Life:
2 parts Blue Curacao
1 part Vodka (or maybe Bacardi 151...more poisonous)

This is only needed if you are or continue to be a preek.

Freakzilla wrote:

RedHeadKevin wrote:Hmm.... I think I may need to invent a cocktail....
Water of Life:
2 parts Blue Curacao
1 part Vodka (or maybe Bacardi 151...more poisonous)

This is only needed if you are or continue to be a preek.

If so, let me suggest Raid Fumigator.

Hey Hey hey.... let's not start throwing names at me.... I was given House Atreides as a gift, so I read it. That's the only prequel book I read. I'm just going on what I've heard about Irulan's "making up" the stories of Frank's books.

RedHeadKevin wrote:Hey Hey hey.... let's not start throwing names at me.... I was given House Atreides as a gift, so I read it. That's the only prequel book I read. I'm just going on what I've heard about Irulan's "making up" the stories of Frank's books.

This is the ultimate cop-out for McJacket, basicaly giving him free reign to rewrite whatever he wants as the "official" dune.

We've dscussed this at great length and I personally find it an insult to FH fan's intelligence and literature in general.

Winds also suggests that Irulan's writings were made crazier and less truthful by Alia's desire to manipulate them and make them "better".

There is a weirdly ironic passage where Alia steals relic's of Paul to make copies of them to sell to pilgrims as "authentic".

I know I'm on the slow train here but I just realized that to integrate(too soft a word) his heresies into FH's world, JAKy boy has tried to make all of the real Dune pass for delusions and lies of Irulan...

Yeah, and it's not even very clever on his part. The tard never realized it doesn't work past Children of Dune since Irulan would be dead by then. Unless Harq al'Ada/Farad'n also has a dramatic flair for embellishing shit. And who takes up the role of court historian after Harq? Leto II himself? I wonder what Kebbin is going to make Leto II lie about when he gets that far with his shitty interquels (like 50 books from now).

Oh wait, I can already think of one. How the fuck does Leto II's clone have the ability to turn into a worm and back to a human??? If he's a goddamn clone, wouldn't the original god emperor also have that ability? What, he just never tried? He liked having his legs shrivel away and his dick falling off? Or was he a secret Face Dancer?

Dear Diary,
I've been keeping this secret from everyone in my Imperium, but I have the ability to change back into a regular dude. I like being a worm tho. It's pretty cool to shit out Spice-- I make Moneo look at it, rofl. And I can crush ppl n stuff in my Royal Mario Cart. But I can't have the Royal Pool Party without disintegrating. Also, I look weird in my Royal Speedo cause i gained so much worm weight & my schlong fell off about 1500 yrs ago. y'know, too much junk in trunk and my Royal Package is empty. sux.
But duuuuuude... Hwi is hawt. I wants to tap it. I NEEDS to tap it before Duncan gets to her. Thank gawd i can turns back into a regular dude at will tho.
--Leto II's locked, secret Hello Kitty Diary

Well, after FH's books we go into Dune bizzaro world where Leto was just crazy and the Golden Path was wrong.

How's that?

RedHeadKevin wrote:Actually, it's a fairly brilliant move: Now, they can write whatever they want! If Frank's books were just "as told by Irulan," and Irulan may have embelleshed or omitted things to make "her" stories better, anything KJA and BH write can contradict Frank's work, because "well, Irulan was wrong, or she embelleshed her books, we're writing the truth."

The thing that gets me about the "in universe propaganda status of the Originals to the interquels specifically is that after CoD is it Harq al Ada that's been lying? After GEoD is it the God Emperor?

Apjak wrote:

RedHeadKevin wrote:Actually, it's a fairly brilliant move: Now, they can write whatever they want! If Frank's books were just "as told by Irulan," and Irulan may have embelleshed or omitted things to make "her" stories better, anything KJA and BH write can contradict Frank's work, because "well, Irulan was wrong, or she embelleshed her books, we're writing the truth."

The thing that gets me about the "in universe propaganda status of the Originals to the interquels specifically is that after CoD is it Harq al Ada that's been lying? After GEoD is it the God Emperor?

I too hungover for sarcasm...

I think it's the Wonder Twins doing the lying.

You know what would make a lot more sense AND would be more respectful to Frank? If the hacks admitted that their books are actually in-universe documents. You know, crappy Muad'Dib fanfic sold to twelve-year-olds at the market in Arrakeen.

Then again, I'd probably still find them repulsive.

Drunken Idaho wrote:You know what would make a lot more sense AND would be more respectful to Frank? If the hacks admitted that their books are actually in-universe documents. You know, crappy Muad'Dib fanfic sold to twelve-year-olds at the market in Arrakeen.

Then again, I'd probably still find them repulsive.

I'd maybe buy an alternative-universe. You know, like Post-Dune7, humans develop machine intelligence. While testing their new blue-matter bomb, a no-ship gets sucked back in time and crashes on earth, where one of those dudes who becomes a Titan salvages the technology to construct Omnius...oh, wait, that sounds familiar. No matter, I'll just continue on my hike.

It's not just alternate Duniverse, that only accounts for the inconsistancies.

It has to be alternate Duniverse fan-fiction to account for the bad writing.

"Alternate Universe" sounds to me like an "I Don't Care Universe."

BH and KJA's books were all actually written by Transo of IX II, 500 years after Dune 7. He was a paperback writer who got his big break writing novelizations of shigawire films and serial romance with his wife (a descendant of Baron Harkonnen). His Patron, Baron Fuzzy of IX IIIV wanted someone to retell the story to quell the Phanboi riots in his Spice Farms (he grew Earthworms that shat pure cinnamon).

Transo secretly hated Baron Fuzzy, because his dad Earl-Baron Duncan Idaho the 1,000,001th was a great historian and ultra-historian-award writer that dismissed Transo's work as being of the 3PO quality. Transo was caught and sentenced to the worm-pod, his mind ever locked in the spice trance and forced to live in the world of his own creation, dying slowly of Perfect Narcissism.

[quote="Ampoliros"]He was a paperback writer who got his big break writing novelizations of shigawire films and serial romance with his wife (a descendant of Baron Harkonnen)[quote]

Nice!


if the pic's too heavy for the board(no pun intended)i'll remove it

Good grief!

Now that's just not fair... You're making the Baron look ugly.

Drunken Idaho wrote:Now that's just not fair... You're making the Baron look ugly.