The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
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- SandChigger
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
That's nine years of FICTION BOOK TIME.
(Quetzoquesodillias was rather inspired, though. )
(Quetzoquesodillias was rather inspired, though. )
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- trang
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
maybe he will choke on a pretzel while "dick-ta-hiking" and his voice box will be punctured beyond repair and he will be mute(no offence to mutes out there, I wouldnt want him in my ranks either) and we can breath a sigh of relief that this nightmare will be over.
"Long Live the Fighters", "Dragon.....the other white meat."
- SandChigger
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Nah, he'd just learn to "write" with his hands.
No, no, I've got it!
He would learn to sign and then have a have a sign language interpreter tag along on his hikes and read what KJA signed into a recorder!
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
No, no, I've got it!
He would learn to sign and then have a have a sign language interpreter tag along on his hikes and read what KJA signed into a recorder!
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- Tleszer
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- Nekhrun
- Icelandic Wiener
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
I just had a vision of him grabbing things from his fans and saying kevin j. anderson at each of them and then handing them back to his assistant to actually do the signing.
"If he was here to discuss Dune, he sure as hell picked a dumb way to do it." -Omphalos
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Happy Memorial Day everyone! -James C. Harwood
"Three of my videos have over 100 views."
"Over 500 views for my 'Open Question' video." -Nebiros
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?
- Freakzilla
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.Frybread wrote:Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Freakzilla wrote:I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.Frybread wrote:Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?
Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree
- Freakzilla
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Makes his tragic sacrafice that much more insignificant, doesn't it?Frybread wrote:Freakzilla wrote:I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.Frybread wrote:Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?
Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- Sev
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.
Freakzilla - "Apparently we can only aspire to be the 13th biggest Dune fan since we are not family or in the HLP."
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Byron - "Are you trying to irk me?"
- Freakzilla
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Oh... I expect it will be much worse than we can even imagine. The super-mega-ultra-insult to FH.Sev wrote:We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Just one more device that Keith has used to deconstruct FH's creation. When I think about that, it makes me hate KJA even more than just being a hack.Freakzilla wrote:Makes his tragic sacrafice that much more insignificant, doesn't it?Frybread wrote:Freakzilla wrote:I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.Frybread wrote:Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?
Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree
- Hunchback Jack
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Just FYI, the same site I linked to before has an interview with KJA at some con or other, from last year. You can listen to it in your browser here, or download the MP3 here.
The KJA interview starts about 50 minutes in. Not much new; he rambles a lot about reading H.G. Wells when he was 5 or some shit, and says a lot of annoying things about Dune. The guy's a dweeb.
HBJ
The KJA interview starts about 50 minutes in. Not much new; he rambles a lot about reading H.G. Wells when he was 5 or some shit, and says a lot of annoying things about Dune. The guy's a dweeb.
HBJ
- Freakzilla
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Bah! I'd read Dune twice by the time I was five!Hunchback Jack wrote:...he rambles a lot about reading H.G. Wells when he was 5 or some shit, and says a lot of annoying things about Dune...
HBJ
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
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- inhuien
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
^^^Aye, but it was just the word not the book
- SandChigger
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Actually ... that is probably closer to the truth than you may have intended.Sev wrote:We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.
After all, LoD is supposed to be about the first century or two of Leto's reign.
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- Hunchback Jack
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Think of the circus antics *that* little tyke could get up to!
HBJ
HBJ
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Yeah, he wouldn't be able to control his super-worm body if his dad hadn't spent all that time as a jongleur...
Shit. (Sorry SC I know you told me not to post stuff like that.)
Shit. (Sorry SC I know you told me not to post stuff like that.)
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus
- Robspierre
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Freakzilla wrote:It should be in YA anyway.Ampoliros wrote:maybe TOR will ask him to insert some teenage spice vampires so they can move it to the YA section.
That's an insult to YA!
It shouldn't exist at all!
Rob
- Tleszer
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Amp, I'm disappointed.Ampoliros wrote:Yeah, he wouldn't be able to control his super-worm body if his dad hadn't spent all that time as a jongleur...
Shit. (Sorry SC I know you told me not to post stuff like that.)
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- Sev
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
A second sample chapter is now up at the Macmillan site - and its just as excrutiatingly bad as the first one was - Gurney out hunting with his dogs ("The cool air of that afternoon burned his lungs" ) later Jessica hears him crying in his apartment (" the valves of her emotions had been rusted shut with disuse" ). Twice she describes him as a troubadour warrior. All credit to Chigger for slogging through it all, I feel like I need a bath after just two chapters.
Freakzilla - "Apparently we can only aspire to be the 13th biggest Dune fan since we are not family or in the HLP."
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- TheDukester
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
"Valves of her emotions ..."?
You're making that one up, right? Right?
You're making that one up, right? Right?
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- Redstar
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.TheDukester wrote:"Valves of her emotions ..."?
You're making that one up, right? Right?
- Tleilax Master B
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Redstar wrote:You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.TheDukester wrote:"Valves of her emotions ..."?
You're making that one up, right? Right?
Ooooohhhh! I get it. Damn, that is clever.
- Redstar
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!
Tleilax Master B wrote:Redstar wrote:You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.TheDukester wrote:"Valves of her emotions ..."?
You're making that one up, right? Right?
Ooooohhhh! I get it. Damn, that is clever.