Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST


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A Thing of Eternity
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by A Thing of Eternity »

I sincerely hope he does look at what I've written here and tries to answer carefully. I believe that unless he can shut down my arguments completely, he must admit that the only reason he can tolerate KJA's writing is because all of this "literary quality" and "fully thought through ideas" business simply do not matter to him, as as such he must admit that he is no one to be arguing the quality of KJA's writing, when clearly quality means nothing to him.

I can respect Simon, who will openly admit that he is capable of just ignoring all the mistakes and enjoying the simple action sequences and extended Dune experience. That's fine, he'll admit that KJA isn't a very good writer, but he happens to like KJA's work anyways and that's that. This is fine.

What I can't respect is someone (like Byron) who insists that KJA is a SKILLED writer, but who has absolutely no choice but to simply ignore all the terrible flaws people point out. I don't respect paradox, either KJA has skill, or he doesn't. So far we've seen probably the equivalent of a thousand page book written by our members, explaining in excruciating detail why KJA (and BH for the record) is simply an unskilled writer. On the other side of the argument I believe we've only seen a total of maybe 10 pages worth of "no - he's great, because I say so. all that stuff you say is... um, shut up" style retorts.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by Hunchback Jack »

Thing, nice post (and the same goes for your others in this vein). I completely agree with your analysis.

I also think that the argument does not hinge on whether the Scattering was "multigalactic" or not. I don't have any quotes, but it seemed clear to me from Heretics and Chapter House that the Scattering was *extensive* and that whole sections of humanity lost contact with each other. Whether this means more than one galaxy or not is somewhat moot; the point is that the extent of exploration went far beyond *what is known*, either by the old empire and by the Scattered themselves.

So the idea that the Bene Gesserit could capture a Scattering starship and magically get maps of all the Scattered systems is just absurd (as is the idea that the machine empire could encompass the entire Scattering, but you've covered that elsewhere).

KJA completely fails to understand the scale of space. Pretty strange blind spot for an astronomer to have.

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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Well, astronomy was one of his minors. ;)

Byron's behavior is all the more reprehensible because he is not only a relative of FH but an author himself. I hope he has some really good reasons for selling out his grandfather.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples

Post by TheDukester »

TheDukester wrote:Waiting ... waiting ...
TheDukester wrote:Waiting ... waiting ...
Waiting ... waiting.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

OH GOOD GOD ... maybe he crawled so far up KJA's ass that he can't find his way out?! :shock:

'Pestie! Slime out towards the Light! The Light, 'Pestie, crawl to the Light!
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by Tleszer »

:vomit:

Oh... um... waiting, waiting...
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Maybe that's the point, after all, keeping us hanging now? ;)
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SadisticCynic »

Oh, was that a hint? :wink:
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Waiting... :) Image
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by TheDukester »

Well, Kevin's instructions seem pretty clear: "Stop posting over there."

Oh, well. Maybe we'll see you at Amazon, Pesticle. :roll:
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by Schu »

Hang on. Are you saying this redbugpest guy has delusions of not existing purely for our amusement and sport? He must be on some heavy shit. shame - I was looking forward to it.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

He's been by pervin' the blog and checked out the podcast section, but that's it as of the last time I checked the access logs.

Wouldn't it be funny if this were YET ANOTHER THING that has blown up in Kevin's face? :D
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Yo, Thing!

Here's a new wrinkle for you, an epigraph:
Prescience cannot be a random thing. It must be by design. The question is, whose design?
—comment, Intergalactic Commission on Spirituality
Ignore the stupid content, it's the attribution I want to draw your attention to.

An Intergalactic Commission? :shock: ... :roll:

If this is not a misprint, it will represent (as best I can determine) THE ONLY USE of this word in all of McDune.

So WTF is it supposed to mean? And why NOW? A bit odd, no? :twisted:
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by GamePlayer »

Definitely a fuck up. But I can see how the word interstellar was used improperly. Terms like "interstellar" and "intergalactic" are used in all kinds of sci-fi to the extent that many fans repeat the terms without thinking. I myself have often scoffed in disdain at the Star Trek The Next Generation space craft design for the Enterprise, calling it an Intergalactic Station Wagon. Now the term "intergalactic" may be misused in this instance, since the Enterprise only travels within the Milky Way Galaxy, but it's a fucking joke which works best when using the term.

Of course, there in lies the problem: writing without thinking which is like traveling without moving (Lynch reference) only much less intelligent. Fortunately, KJA is a master of writing without thinking and as fate would have it, he's is also a fucking joke :)
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Hiking without moving ... writing without thinking....

Do we have any proof that his writing instrument (his mouth) is actually connected to a brain? :?
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by GamePlayer »

Circumstantial, your honor. I offer into evidence, Exhibit F, KJA's fucking bad joke of career :)

Actually, I always thought Hiking without exercising was a much better paraphrase of KJA's waddling :)
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by Schu »

In-tergalac-tic Plan-etar-y!

Nice catch, SC :)
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Well, GP, until he starts providing pix of his hikes (and a signed and witnessed affidavit or two, too, now that I think of it), I remain unconvinced that there is actually any motion of any kind taking place when he claims he's gone MOUNTAIN hiking. Other than of his mouth, I mean. ;)

Hey, Schu-bee-doo. The shtuff shticks out so blatantly in this one that you don't even half to try. You just open to a random page and put your finger down and there's something there. :P
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by GamePlayer »

touché :)
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Mmm ... tush, eh?


(Yep. Got pix. :laughing: )
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by A Thing of Eternity »

SandChigger wrote:Yo, Thing!

Here's a new wrinkle for you, an epigraph:
Prescience cannot be a random thing. It must be by design. The question is, whose design?
—comment, Intergalactic Commission on Spirituality
Ignore the stupid content, it's the attribution I want to draw your attention to.

An Intergalactic Commission? :shock: ... :roll:

If this is not a misprint, it will represent (as best I can determine) THE ONLY USE of this word in all of McDune.

So WTF is it supposed to mean? And why NOW? A bit odd, no? :twisted:
It's just random babble from KJA meant to sound scienc-y ... what concerns me about this one is that it is yet another attempt by KJA to sneak in a message that a higher power is necessary. I truely believe that KJA is religious (we've as much as heard Byron admit that "someone" is a scientologist), and that he is attempting to subvert FH's agnostic messages by cramming the need for a higher power into every corner of the books.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

Yeah, that's the "stupid content" part I meant. ;)

And of course that "higher power" will be The Normacle ... or Xenu? :P

If that's what'll set you off I think I saw something even more provocative along those lines. What was it? Um ... Bronso interrupts the spectacle Alia has arranged as Paul's funeral with some Ixian tech trickery. He invokes God-with-a-Big-G and it's not quite clear who/what he's referring to, other than that Paul-Muad'Dib wasn't IT. ... But that's not the really juicy one I remember seeing.... (Later!)

The thing is a gold mine of shit, trust me. You're going to LOVE IT. :laughing:
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by A Thing of Eternity »

Keep it flowing.

I love that for a preview of the new Dune novel people have to come here! DN must be a wasteland.
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by SandChigger »

OK, who wants more bad writing? :P

Alia plans a pompous circustance for Chani's funeral. Stilgar is appalled and steals Chani's water for a more subdued and tasteful Fremen ceremony...
Atop a sand-etched stone slab, an ornate canopic jar held Chani's water. Rendered down from her small body by a huanui deathstill after the difficult and bloody birth of the twins, only twenty-two liters of water had been recoverd from her body.
Note that: 22 liters.
Unstopping the heavy jar, he drained some of the liquid into literjon containers that were easier to handle and hide under his cloak. In order to take it all, he would need to do this at least two more times, but as captain of the guard, Stilgar had ways of avoiding detection. With his precious burden, he slipped out of Muad'Dib's quarters.
Note that as well: at least two more times. So ... what, he's probably packing at least 8 literjons a trip, no? 7 and it's going to be kinda iffy, six and he'd definitely have to make "at least three more" trips. OK? Later at the actual funeral:
Taking care not to spill a drop, Jessica and the Naib emptied the literjons of water that he had carefully smuggled out of the Citadel of Muad'Dib over the course of several weeks.
It took him "several weeks" to arrange two or three more water thefts? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to do it as quickly as possible, to avoid detection? Not to mention the possibility of detection plus the setting of a trap? :roll:

In KJA's defense, the two episodes are separated by about 88 pages. :P
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Re: Further Weak Writing Examples - ATTN: REDBUGPEST

Post by A Thing of Eternity »

Good eye Chig, that is weak.
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