Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 29 Jan 2009 01:45

Which genius at the HLP, or TOR, or wherever, came up with this "direct" thing? What is the difference between a "direct sequel" and a "sequel"?

Man, that sort of thing drives me crazy. Why do some people think unnecessary verbiage sounds so impressive?

Or maybe it was Kevvie himself who came up with this "direct" thing? We all know he's in charge of HLP-land anyway ...

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 29 Jan 2009 02:34

(sigh)

Well, I guess the "reasoning" is that all the books after Dune are sequels of Dune, so a "direct sequel" is the book that comes immediately after a given book in the sequence.

I guess they felt it necessary to add "direct" explicitly so their numbnut fans won't get confused.

Frybread · Post by **Frybread** » 29 Jan 2009 11:33

SandRider wrote:I am starting to think Sloey's an FBI plant.

Keeps PMing me about sending him farm-porn links.

I ain't that easily caught, NBC !

Pretty soon he'll ask you if you would meet his girlfriend at her house when her parents are gone. Then you'll be greeted by Chris Hanson instead.

Post by **Freakzilla** » 29 Jan 2009 11:46

I know a guy that got set up on adultfriendfinder.com, a cop claimed she was underaged but presented her real, twenty-something picture. Now he's unemployed, living at his mom's and on the sex offender registry.

Sole Man · Post by **Sole Man** » 29 Jan 2009 15:39

Damn, I've been found out.

*Swallows two cyanide pills*

Shit, that's not gonna come out goodin the morning...

Frybread · Post by **Frybread** » 29 Jan 2009 17:46

Freakzilla wrote:I know a guy that got set up on adultfriendfinder.com, a cop claimed she was underaged but presented her real, twenty-something picture. Now he's unemployed, living at his mom's and on the sex offender registry.

Couldn't he find a job at a place that no one under 18 would ever visit, like a strip club, bong shop, or a porn store? That sucks.

Post by **Omphalos** » 29 Jan 2009 18:08

Freakzilla wrote:I know a guy that got set up on adultfriendfinder.com, a cop claimed she was underaged but presented her real, twenty-something picture. Now he's unemployed, living at his mom's and on the sex offender registry.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but if the ad said that she was underaged, that guy did not get "set up."

Post by **Freakzilla** » 30 Jan 2009 09:24

Omphalos wrote:
Freakzilla wrote:I know a guy that got set up on adultfriendfinder.com, a cop claimed she was underaged but presented her real, twenty-something picture. Now he's unemployed, living at his mom's and on the sex offender registry.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but if the ad said that she was underaged, that guy did not get "set up."

No, her profile said she was an adult. It was "adult" friend finder. He was in private chats for days with him before they met. He claims he never saw her say she was underaged until they showed him the transcript in court. I'd like to believe him, I've known him for 30 years. If he was that horny he'd have just called a hooker.

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » 30 Jan 2009 11:49

It's the fine work of "To Catch A Predator" all over again; setting a new standard for entrapment litigation

Eightyeight · Post by **Eightyeight** » 11 Feb 2009 21:21

SandChigger wrote: Inconsistency #2 (McDune vs Real Dune)

In one scene in the new novel, Jessica goes out to Sietch Tabr so that she can see where he has gone.
WTF is she doing on Arrakis post-Messiah?

Dude, its not Jessica of Caladan! She wanted to revisit the new birthworld of Paul.

Inconsistency #3 (McDune vs Real World)

Steve and I had talked about using that as a cover image, Jessica staring off into the expanse of Dunes, perhaps seeing a line of footprints vanishing into the distance.
How long does this hack think footprints last in sand? Or are the sands of Arrakis special?
Oh, right, I forgot that old Fremen proverb: The sands remember.

Duh, Paul used the super secret Fremen training to make permanent footprints in the sand so she and only she could follow him! It uses the same technology as the Suncrusher. (Which btw, I hear makes a cameo!)

Inconsistency #4 (Common sense?)

an earlier scene where Jessica and Alia walk through a crowded Arrakeen bazaar
Yeah, right. The Atreides Regent and her mother strolling through a busy market with no guards.

Oh! They must be using that ole Bene Gesserit invisibility mojo!

Seriously SC, have you lost your ability to bend reality!?!?! This is the perfect setup for another Nude-Alia training sequence, only this time she uses real assassins sent by Cyborg-Ghola-Marie! (Strangely, the Assassins are also based on Suncrusher technology.)

Still nothing beats the Pod-racing sequence that 2-yr old Leto and Ghani use to escape their birthworld, Kaitain.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 11 Feb 2009 22:26

Bravo. You showed Chig who's boss.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 12 Feb 2009 04:22

Well, I'm going to be ill now.

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » 12 Feb 2009 05:18

Eightyeight wrote:
SandChigger wrote: Inconsistency #2 (McDune vs Real Dune)

In one scene in the new novel, Jessica goes out to Sietch Tabr so that she can see where he has gone.
WTF is she doing on Arrakis post-Messiah?
Dude, its not Jessica of Caladan! She wanted to revisit the new birthworld of Paul.

Wrong. Everyone knows Paul was born on Kaitain and his real mother was really that Titan/Cymek woman who was one of the chief bad guys in the Legends books when her frozen body was found in a giant iceberg next to some hidden spice and her eggs were fertilised with the semen of Baron Harkonnen which Gaius Helen Mohiam had kept in her mouth for over a year using a special Bene Gesserit trick. Please, pay attention.

Inconsistency #3 (McDune vs Real World)

Steve and I had talked about using that as a cover image, Jessica staring off into the expanse of Dunes, perhaps seeing a line of footprints vanishing into the distance.
How long does this hack think footprints last in sand? Or are the sands of Arrakis special?
Oh, right, I forgot that old Fremen proverb: The sands remember.

Duh, Paul used the super secret Fremen training to make permanent footprints in the sand so she and only she could follow him! It uses the same technology as the Suncrusher. (Which btw, I hear makes a cameo!)

Well, I can't argue with that one. I think you're onto something there.

Inconsistency #4 (Common sense?)

an earlier scene where Jessica and Alia walk through a crowded Arrakeen bazaar
Yeah, right. The Atreides Regent and her mother strolling through a busy market with no guards.

Oh! They must be using that ole Bene Gesserit invisibility mojo!
Seriously SC, have you lost your ability to bend reality!?!?! This is the perfect setup for another Nude-Alia training sequence, only this time she uses real assassins sent by Cyborg-Ghola-Marie! (Strangely, the Assassins are also based on Suncrusher technology.)

Who the fuck is Marie?

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 12 Feb 2009 06:02

The little Fenring fuck.

Ah, that's right, you haven't read PoD, right?

Drunken Idaho · Post by **Drunken Idaho** » 12 Feb 2009 11:41

LOL@Suncrusher

Oh man, that takes me back... It had the ability to destroy enitire systems, correct?

So typical of that stupid hack, if it's not the ultimate KH, or ultraspice, then it's the super-death-star!!!

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 12 Feb 2009 12:30

Note: Clarification, I'm Eightyeight, i had some log on probs with Ampoliros

chanilover wrote:
Wrong. Everyone knows Paul was born on Kaitain and his real mother was really that Titan/Cymek woman who was one of the chief bad guys in the Legends books when her frozen body was found in a giant iceberg next to some hidden spice and her eggs were fertilised with the semen of Baron Harkonnen which Gaius Helen Mohiam had kept in her mouth for over a year using a special Bene Gesserit trick. Please, pay attention.

CL I said, NEW Birthworld. Irulan got it wrong in her first book, quickly covered her mistake in her second book, but now, with her super ultra factoid research she's finally gotten it right. At least for this book...(Wikipedia survived till Dune Days? who woulda known!)

Also I think you are mistaken about that special BG breeding trick. In the leaked chapters its evident that the method you describe is used to pay off cover artists for cheap Ixian pulp sci-fi renditions of Paul's life.

Who the fuck is Marie?

KJA seems to have an obsession with making short stunted women into power rangers, if not god almighty herself.

I can't put in words how much i hate that little turd. it's KJA's most BS super-weapon ever, even more than the Suncrusher.

MICAH · Post by **MICAH** » 12 Feb 2009 12:47

]

Wrong. Everyone knows Paul was born on Kaitain and his real mother was really that Titan/Cymek woman who was one of the chief bad guys in the Legends books when her frozen body was found in a giant iceberg next to some hidden spice and her eggs were fertilised with the semen of Baron Harkonnen which Gaius Helen Mohiam had kept in her mouth for over a year using a special Bene Gesserit trick. Please, pay attention.

SOOO much more entertaining than the prequels!!!

Drunken Idaho · Post by **Drunken Idaho** » 12 Feb 2009 12:57

You're all forgetting that even PoD and all the other new books are in-universe texts within the Star Wars universe, found aboard the Ultimate-Suncrusher!

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 12 Feb 2009 13:24

Ma, bring me my Galaxy Gun. (Not KJA's invention iirc)

Sole Man · Post by **Sole Man** » 12 Feb 2009 16:34

The final DUNE, (wait, DUNE) book ever written:

Last page, probably, 232323232323232323234223:

And then Kevin woke up, screaming.
'becca turned her fat sludge over and looked at him. "What's wrong baby-cakes?"
"I don't know...I had a dream where some bearded arab guy from Amerca wrote a bunch of books that made perfect sense, were completely consistent with each other, and were loved by millions all over the world!"
"Oh my God! That's horrifying!"
"I know! If such a series ever existed, I'd worm my way in and rape it to death! Fortunately, it was only a dream."
Then, as he laid back over, he saw Frank Herbert smiling at him, saying, "It wasn't a dream, bub."
Kevin looked at him for a moment, then shouted, "WHAT ISN'T WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!"

Drunken Idaho · Post by **Drunken Idaho** » 12 Feb 2009 16:46

Frank Herbert would NEVER pork Kevin J. Anderson!

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 12 Feb 2009 16:51

Sole Man wrote:The final DUNE, (wait, DUNE) book ever written:

Last page, probably, 232323232323232323234223:

And then Kevin woke up, screaming.
'becca turned her fat sludge over and looked at him. "What's wrong baby-cakes?"
"I don't know...I had a dream where some bearded arab guy from Amerca wrote a bunch of books that made perfect sense, were completely consistent with each other, and were loved by millions all over the world!"
"Oh my God! That's horrifying!"
"I know! If such a series ever existed, I'd worm my way in and rape it to death! Fortunately, it was only a dream."
Then, as he laid back over, he saw Frank Herbert smiling at him, saying, "It wasn't a dream, bub."
Kevin looked at him for a moment, then shouted, "WHAT ISN'T WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!"

Drunken Idaho wrote:Frank Herbert would NEVER pork Kevin J. Anderson!

And then the internets asploeded.

Nekhrun · Post by **Nekhrun** » 12 Feb 2009 17:32

Eightyeight wrote:This is the perfect setup for another Nude-Alia training sequence, only this time she uses real assassins sent by Cyborg-Ghola-Marie!

It'll probably read like some Peterotica from Family Guy.

Oh, and did I mention that she was nude? Well she was and she was really, really hot. Her boobs were huge. Then she trained.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 12 Feb 2009 18:08

Analia - A Peter Griffin Peterotica

She pounced like a kitty onto the training droid and oiled up her cans. Did I mention that she's a ninja robot, because she is. The oil dripped erotically onto the droid, a man-droid looking in all the wrong places for love. Then the pizza man walked in and said, "Did anyone order a sausage pie with extra cheese?"

Post by **Freakzilla** » 12 Feb 2009 19:55

FB update:

Jessica of Dune Cover Art & Interview
Today at 2:40pm
Hi there. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day so far. I just wanted to pop online to share a recent interview with artist, Stephen Youll:

http://www.suvudu.com/2009/02/artist-st ... rview.html

Have a happy day!

I stopped reading after:

SY: I work mostly with Kevin to create the covers because Brian is hard to get a hold of at times.

J A C U R U T U

Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

on the Sandrider comments

Re: Jessica of Dune inconsistencies!

Re: Jessica of Dune inconsistencies!

Re: Jessica of Dune inconsistencies!

Re: Jessica of Dune inconsistencies!

On who KJA really

Re: On who KJA really

Re: Jessica of Dune inconsistencies!