Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

[SandChigger]

Wind ... the easier it'll be to break it...

I have absolutely no problems in that department even now.

And yes ... I HAVE RECORDINGS!


(I'm enjoying this way more than is seemly. )

[Rakis]

and her gale-force winds shall strike fear into the hearts of all men.... she is the ULTRA-SUPER-QUEEFER

Windy Jess is in reality the Normalitor ?

[Ampoliros]

I guess you guys saw South Park last night...

[Tleszer]

I may have seen it...

[SandChigger]

Even though the original books make it painfully clear that Bronso of Ix is a historian, Kevin won't be satisfied until he's made a childhood friend of Paul Atreides who turns against Muad'Dib and becomes a leader of rebels.

He's probably going to cite this, from the "Death Cell Interview", as his justification for the last:

Q: It's easy to see why those who conspire against Muad'dib use your Analysis of History as their rallying argument!

Not that he believes he needs justification these days.

[Ampoliros]

From what I understand of the blurb, Paul tells Bronso to organize a rebellion to destroy his name. Jessica will have to decide between supporting the rebellion or supporting Alia and the Priesthood. I imagine KJA will want us to believe she supports Bronso (ooh Dark) and this causes the conflict between Alia and her mother.

[Redstar]

From what I understand of the blurb, Paul tells Bronso to organize a rebellion to destroy his name. Jessica will have to decide between supporting the rebellion or supporting Alia and the Priesthood. I imagine KJA will want us to believe she supports Bronso (ooh Dark) and this causes the conflict between Alia and her mother.

Everything this guy writes is completely weak. Not everything has to have some meaning or purpose behind it. I think FH made it clear that accidents, or even "destiny" was sometimes at work in the Duniverse. Sometimes things just happened; sometimes people just had problems with each other; sometimes people didn't plan ahead. It's what made the universe FH created so much more real. KJA is just breaking it down by making a deus ex Erasmus in every character.

TehKJA
THE WINDS OF DUNE features a romantic liaison between Bronso of Ix and the Lady Jessica, both working to destroy the memory of Paul.
about 1 hour ago from Socialite

[lotek]

Try shaving your nuts, they like that.

now how on earth did I stumble on that post???

and most importantly, how much booze do I need to remove that info from my brain?

[Freakzilla]

Well, it's true.

[lotek]

Well, it's true.

luckily not all of them like that

[Freakzilla]

Well, it's true.

luckily not all of them like that

If they don't it's because they haven't experienced them.

[lotek]

Well, it's true.

luckily not all of them like that

If they don't it's because they haven't experienced them.

I was more looking at it from a balls carrier's point of view in that case

[Ghost]

Meh, downloaded and finished to read PoD and WoD.
The usual crap plus some no-notions about father and son relationships, i bet that the Rhombur-Bronso discussion was written by Brian.

[Ampoliros]

I seem to recall that KJA had blogged or twated about arguing with his step-son, and iirc his step son also chided us somewhere, Amazon I think.

Those two incidents seem to correlate pretty completely with the Rhombur-Bronso relationship.

[Ghost]

That discussion is pretty idiotic, i bet that any father or step father wont do and say what Rhombur said.

[TheDukester]

On behalf of all parents everywhere, I'd just like to remind Kevin J. Anderson that he is the last person any of us will ever turn to for any thoughts on parenting, on any level whatsoever.

Not only has he never been an actual parent himself — all due respect to step-parents, but it's a different ballgame when it's literally your flesh and blood — he's also a completely self-absorbed, egomaniacal prick. And the second one is much more important than the first. I've known plenty of step-parents who were great role-models, but I've never seen one self-absorbed, egomaniacal prick who was worth a damn as a parent.

I'd sooner get parenting advice from a dirty soap-dish.

[Freakzilla]

On behalf of all parents everywhere, I'd just like to remind Kevin J. Anderson that he is the last person any of us will ever turn to for any thoughts on parenting, on any level whatsoever.

Not only has he never been an actual parent himself — all due respect to step-parents, but it's a different ballgame when it's literally your flesh and blood — he's also a completely self-absorbed, egomaniacal prick. And the second one is much more important than the first. I've known plenty of step-parents who were great role-models, but I've never seen one self-absorbed, egomaniacal prick who was worth a damn as a parent.

I'd sooner get parenting advice from a dirty soap-dish.

Not only that, I'll go so far as to insult natural only child parents. As Bill Cosby said, having only one child doesn't really qualify as a parent. He's right, there is so much you don't have to deal with when there's only one child. One child is barely a step up from a pet. When it's a step-child, that's like your roomate's pet.

[SandChigger]

and iirc his step son also chided us somewhere, Amazon I think

Yes, he showed up in the comment thread of my PoD review, after I listed the upcoming schedule of Dune & SMELLHOLE books for some guy named Philip, and shot off his mouth in typical stupid young thing mode, then later deleted the comment. The icing on the cake was that he used his girlfriend-at-the-time's account to do it! (They're now married, and she's going to whelp in April.)

Poor Jabecca ... surrounded by manlings but not a ball between them.

[Tleszer]

Poor Jabecca ... surrounded by manlings but not a ball between them.

[Jabecca]

Poor Jabecca ... surrounded by manlings but not a ball between them.

This only means my little darling is sterile not impotent!

[SandChigger]

Ah, like Fenring in PoD/WoD, you mean?

In the language of the desert, we would call your manlings rijal bela baidat.

Men without "eggs".

[Ghost]

That reminds me...

I tought that everyone (or at least Paul, the BG, et al.) knew that Fenring was an eunuch.
It seems that not

[Mr. Teg]

Ah, like Fenring in PoD/WoD, you mean?

In the language of the desert, we would call your manlings rijal bela baidat.

Men without "eggs".

Jabecca must've devoured the eggs

[dunaddict]

Ok. I've read it. I finished it. And oh....my....god, it was so incredibly boring.

Except for Jessica's two flashbacks, nothing of real importance happens. Just endless recaps of the previous books (and prequels) and Jessica crying and moaning about how awful Paul and Alia's reign had become. And the flashbacks? Slightly less boring, but that is easily compensated by the stupidity of the plot.

Throughout the book, I had to put it down and scream: WHYYYYYY? Here are my WHY'S:
(I knew it was going to be fun when the first WHY was on page one, the preface.)

- WHY does Bronso of Ix think that even the best historians will never find out why Muad'dib walked into the desert?
The best historians must be unaware of certain Fremen traditions?

- WHY are there bars, restaurants and even a shopping mall on a guild highliner?

- WHY doesn't Alia understand why Paul gave his daughter the name Ghanima?

- WHY do suspension-engines need fuel-hoses?

- WHY does Alia need Jessica's advice to realize that no-one can tell the difference between bodywater and tapwater?

- WHY is it possible for that Tupile-delegation to pay Jessica a surprise-visit in the middle of the Citadel, without guards?

- WHY, if Mohiam is in Alia's Other Memory, does Alia call Baron Harkonnen 'grandfather'(in DUNE), but doesn't call Mohiam 'grandmother'?

- WHY does Paul decide to run away with that rotten kid Bronso? He was sworn to protect him, but I could think of easier ways to do it. Like, warn his daddy or lock him up?

- WHY does Paul have high-security codes for all the doors on a Highliner? Bronso didn't tell him, he'd already run off.

- WHY do BH & KJA think Paul Atreides doing the dishes for space-gypsies is a cool idea?

- WHY is it possible for a lowly steward on the highliner (who serves drinks to passengers), to release prisoners Paul and Bronso from a high security area?

- WHY would any respectable circusmanager want to call himself 'Rheinvar the Magnificent' and expect to be taken seriously? Better to call yourself 'Clown Cliche' and be done with it.

- WHY are the characters in this book so dumb?:

BG want Tessia -> Tessia says no -> Next day, Tessia unconscious -> BG take Tessia with them.

Rhombur asks: could BG have done that?
Jessica thinks long time and says: No.
Rhombur says: Ok.
The end.

Aaaarghhhh!!!!!

- WHY does Stilgar say he doesn't know anything about rivers, when he nearly drowns in one in the previous novel (PoD).

- WHY does Paul say to Irulan that Atreides-heirlooms are no longer important to him? Did I miss something?

- WHY are Jessica and Gurney the first (and only ones) who notice the bodies being stolen on the jihad battlefield-video? And
WHY do they forget this immediately? They never mention it again.

- WHY is Duncan suddenly Alia's harsh, angry goon? Multiple personality disorder?

- WHY do a Mayor and a priest of a town on Caladan have the power to declare independence for the entire planet? And
- WHY is Gurney playing with his dogs? Shouldn't he be doing Jessica's job, while she is travelling?

- WHY is this man Mayor anyway? After Jessica returns, she explains (twice!) why declaring independence is dangerous, and he still doesn't get it. Stupid characters.

- WHY psychic tornadoes around Tessia? Never explained.

- WHY are guilt-casters able to project 'Waves of psychic energy'? ...That Jessica is able to 'deflect'? Their mana pool must be huge and I wonder what their THAC0 is.

- WHY can Jessica not be convinced to kill her own son by the BG, but two pages later she decides to do it anyway on her own?

- WHY can facedancers roam freely and undetected on Wallach IX, in plain daylight amidst 20 billion BG's????

- WHY stickers on luggage in a DUNE novel?

- WHY's is KJA's 'Whisper of Caladan Seas' literally mentioned? Not one, but Two shameless plugs.

- WHY does Tessia, a BG, not know a foreign body was implanted in her neck?


And some golden oldies that need to be mentioned again and again:
- WHY was Paul baptised on Caladan? Maybe because he was born there?

- WHY does Paul travel to Ix when his first off-world trip was to Arrakis?

- WHY is Castle Caladan on a cliff near the sea (Answer: becawz its in teh moooo-vee!!)


And the most important question:

- WHY so many stupid characters and stupid plots?

Irulan gives the answer herself in the first interlude: She admits to Jessica she has been thinking for a while about an extra book for a younger audience that deals with Paul's younger years.

Can we read this as an official admission by KJA & BH that the McDunes are really Young Adult novels?

Finally, an interesting bit from Alia that explains KJA/BH psychology: (translated from Dutch, sorry, don't have the English text)
"Her brother had changed the human race forever, but Alia too would take her place in history, since Paul had left it to her to pick up the pieces to glue them together as she saw fit. If she could make the Empire strong and stable, Historians would perhaps regard her higher than Muad'dib. For her, it was just a matter of reducing Paul's legacy in a calculating way and exaggerating her own accomplishments. She would stand on his shoulders and take advantage of his victories".

[Freakzilla]

- WHY so many stupid characters and stupid plots?

Because it's written by Spanky McDune and Bobo.