Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Amazon Japan just sent me a notice that the third volume of Brian's "Timewub" (as in "I wub yoo!") series, Webfloppers at the Masked Ball of Time, has just gone on sale. (Actually, of course, they're "Timeweb" and Webdancers.)

Checking for the book on Amazon US, I found this featured review:

From Publishers Weekly

The third Timeweb Chronicles space fantasy episode (after 2007's The Web and the Stars) concludes eco-warrior Noah Watanabe's personal journey. Watanabe has unprecedented access to the disintegrating Timeweb that spans the universe, but interaction with it begins to change him into something more than human. Meanwhile, the threat of the mysterious Hib-Adu Coalition unites the human Merchant Prince Alliance and the shape-shifters of the Mutati Kingdom in common cause. As the political situation and the Timeweb decay, Watanabe struggles to protect his people from the forces imprisoned within the Web. Only diehard fans will last to the end of the novel, which suffers from clunky writing, a plethora of sketchy characters, a confusing plot, stakes so high as to be meaningless and a pace alternately breathless and leaden. (Dec.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

You gotta love it!

But notice the similarities? Noah Watanabe (remember, he's the son of the man with two Japanese last names: Saitoh Watanabe AH HA HA HA HA HA!) IS the Duncan Idaho SuperUberKwizalifragilisticHaderach of the Timewub Universe!

WHOA! WOW! SUCH STUNNING CREATIVITY!!!

OK...just now...for the briefest instant...I actually felt a twinge of pity (again) for ole BriBri.

The guy wants SO BADLY to be seen as a REAL author...who can actually write something without "and..." after his name on the cover.

And at the same time...NO ONE in his family loves him enough to keep him from publishing these books and making a complete fool of himself.

He may be an irredeemable father-legacy-fucker, but that's still kinda sad.

But right afterwards it occurred to me that the nu-McDune books are just so bad that it's entirely plausible that Brian had a hand in writing them!

This volume is also published by Five Star Publications, Inc.

I wonder how much Brian had to pay per copy.


(And you just know all the other self-publishers are jealous of the attention his famous last name brings him. They don't get their books written up by Publisher's Weekly and Harriet Klausner. )

http://www.fivestarpublications.com/

Contact Us

Are you interested in a free 15-minute consultation on publishing your book? Click Here!!

In a mean mood today!

Thank You For Contacting Us

Thank you for your comments. If appropriate, we will respond soon to your questions. You submitted:

Name: Sandovar Klausman
E-mail: sandchigger@mac.com
Organization: Orthodox Herbertarian Jihad
Telephone:

You preferred to be contacted by: E-Mail

Your area(s) of interest were: Other

Your comments:

Hi, just a question. It's about one of your customers, so I'll understand if confidentiality prevents you from answering.

The three books of Brian Herbert's Timeweb series...those are self-published by him or the Herbert Limited Partnership, right? Were any of your editors involved in the production process? The books are just so badly written that I can't see how anyone would have agreed to publish them unless the author was paying for it ... or the publisher was hoping to capitalize a bit off the Herbert name?

Anyway, the books have a very nice, very professional appearance; you all do good work. It's just a pity about the content.

SandChigger wrote:Only diehard fans will last to the end of the novel, which suffers from clunky writing, a plethora of sketchy characters, a confusing plot, stakes so high as to be meaningless and a pace alternately breathless and leaden.

Yikes!

Think ol' Kevvie will blog about that? After all, it is a professional review ...

SandChigger wrote:OK...just now...for the briefest instant...I actually felt a twinge of pity (again) for ole BriBri.

That happens to me all the time ... he really is sort of a pathetic figure. And it wouldn't be a huge surprise to find out that he's being seriously manipulated by Kevin "Weasel Scientologist" Anderson.

SandChigger wrote:... without "and..." after his name on the cover.

Nice! I'm stealing that line. My new nickname for BH is "Brian Herbert And."

Love it.

Watanabe... isn't that the name of one of the characters from Clark's Rama series? I'll have to check that.

A Thing of Eternity wrote:Watanabe... isn't that the name of one of the characters from Clark's Rama series? I'll have to check that.

Well, I know that is a name of a great japanese actor: Ken Watanabe.

Maybe BH liked the actor"s work and decided to use his surname.

I do fidn it odd that Brian Herbert would name a chacter "Wannabe"

Also, I'm going to start Rendeveous with Rama in about...a week or so, so You can check that Loooong before I could ever get it to you.

Oh, the pathetic attempts at legitimacy. Is it any wonder why these two fuck ups keep writing Dune books? They need something to make them money while each one of their own "creative" attempts fails to sell.

The human brain amazes me. How do these two rationalize their lives? Actually, I revoke the question. I don't want to know how they rationalize themselves as the failed writers they are. I get enough of that from KJA quoting sales figures every time someone puts him on the defensive

Whoops! Looks like I bothered a perfectly innocent publishing company!

We did not publish or have any involvement with any books published for Brian Herbert.

Five Star Publications, Inc.

The Timeweb books are actually being published by these people:

http://www.gale.cengage.com/

Webdancers page on their site

Oops.

Webdancers: Book 3 of the Timeweb Chronicles


Author: Brian Herbert

Published by Five Star

New York Times bestselling author

In the first two volumes of the Timeweb Chronicles, bestselling author Brian Herbert introduced his readers to Timeweb, a fantastically beautiful galactic web that is an immense canvas of space and time connecting the entire galaxy. This cosmic filigree connects solar systems and other celestial bodies, and acts as a transportation infrastructure on which enigmatic, sentient spacecraft (podships) travel at faster-than-light speeds. But the vast infrastructure is disintegrating, threatening to send the entire galaxy tumbling into oblivion.

New York Times bestselling author Brian Herbert, the son of Frank Herbert, has won several literary honors, and has been nominated for the highest awards in science fiction.

Published/Released: December 2008

(They should have left out that "the" there. Brian is Frank's only surviving son, but he did have two.)

Hmmm. That's funny. Gale is part of either Westlaw or Nexus. I think its a Thompson company, which would make it Westlaw. But Cengage is the old holding company for Chilton, which published the original Dune.

Webdancers: Book 3 of the Timeweb Chronicles


Author: Brian Herbert

Published by Five Star

New York Times bestselling author

In the first two volumes of the Timeweb Chronicles, bestselling author Brian Herbert introduced his readers to Timeweb, a fantastically beautiful galactic web that is an immense canvas of space and time connecting the entire galaxy. This cosmic filigree connects solar systems and other celestial bodies, and acts as a transportation infrastructure on which enigmatic, sentient spacecraft (podships) travel at faster-than-light speeds. But the vast infrastructure is disintegrating, threatening to send the entire galaxy tumbling into oblivion.

New York Times bestselling author Brian Herbert, the son of Frank Herbert, has won several literary honors, and has been nominated for the highest awards in science fiction.

Published/Released: December 2008

DAMN!!! What an awesome review! I'm surprised Byron hasn't posted this yet. Especially from such an esteemed organization. They must not write reviews like this for everyone!

awright i'm confused are there two five stars here or what ? what aare these "literary awards" Brains has wonn? i'll bet we see the webpage thigns put up as a "review" over there - fuck it, as soon as he does I'm burning a sockpuptte and posting the publishers weekly one/.

no wiat, chig is that a publishr's weekly reivew or an Amazon customer rewviw ? if its a customer reviw wil it stay up ? I'm sonfused nevermind

nurses on theis shift SUCK. ugley beasts. no more morphine
this little keyboards fuckin impossible too cant see this little scheen either

it seems I posted on several boards yesterday - fuck me if I rememvber
dong THAT - anyway FUCK YOU ALL I"M STILL ALIVE !!!!!

There are two Five Stars; the one that's publishing the books is a subdivision of another publisher.

Congrats on surviving!

(Do many people die during back surgery? )

lots of people my age walk into that deathfactory and don't walk out.

There were more concerns about the anethesia, I think. Double fusion and some "reconstruction",
they actually went in thru my stomach, pulled my guts out on a tray. The procedure was 5 hours,
so that was a concern. Now post-op infections, etc. I'm back home tonight. Operation was
late Wednesday afternoon into the night. Yesterday amd most of today in the hospital with a
morphine drip yesterday. (FUN ! bastards took that away this morning) I had my little laptop
and apparently made some posts yesterday and today. Some of that I remember. (I feel sorry
for Andrew Ian Dodge, sorta. Really went to town on him on his own blog - he'll NEVER post
those comments.....)

So anyway, 4-6 weeks "recovery", but the pain in my back, hips, and right leg is just GONE,
praise the little Baby Jesus. Some soreness around the incision, but I've got some meds that
seem to be helping. All in all I feel FAN-tastic, just still a little loopy from all these drugs.

So I imagine I'll complain about the recovery and insurance vampires for a little while longer,
then shut up about it, until something else on me breaks. (I'm betting it's my heart next, or a
fucking stroke - g-d knows I'm due one of those.)

My thanks to ya'll for your tolerance of me during this period.

SandRider wrote:lots of people my age walk into that deathfactory and don't walk out.

There were more concerns about the anethesia, I think. Double fusion and some "reconstruction",
they actually went in thru my stomach, pulled my guts out on a tray. The procedure was 5 hours,
so that was a concern. Now post-op infections, etc. I'm back home tonight. Operation was
late Wednesday afternoon into the night. Yesterday amd most of today in the hospital with a
morphine drip yesterday. (FUN ! bastards took that away this morning) I had my little laptop
and apparently made some posts yesterday and today. Some of that I remember. (I feel sorry
for Andrew Ian Dodge, sorta. Really went to town on him on his own blog - he'll NEVER post
those comments.....)

So anyway, 4-6 weeks "recovery", but the pain in my back, hips, and right leg is just GONE,
praise the little Baby Jesus. Some soreness around the incision, but I've got some meds that
seem to be helping. All in all I feel FAN-tastic, just still a little loopy from all these drugs.

So I imagine I'll complain about the recovery and insurance vampires for a little while longer,
then shut up about it, until something else on me breaks. (I'm betting it's my heart next, or a
fucking stroke - g-d knows I'm due one of those.)

My thanks to ya'll for your tolerance of me during this period.

Well, as long as you're not puking in every thread I'm sure we'll be tolerant of you. When you're better will you still be ornery?

ooohhhh, cain't promise that. (the puking, I mean)
I'm really looking forward to getting off some of these meds so I
can get back to real drinking. I cut back alot in the last month
when the pain got worse and they upped the lortab and ultram and
all that shit. Damn near killed myself a coupla times with that.

And honestly, no, I doubt I'll be as ornery. The constant pain,
the immobility and the lack of control over my affairs made me
real fucking angry. I had a piss-poor Fall, hope to have a winter
and holidays filled with love for my fellow man.

Nah, fuck that.

That's the spirit.