Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

It's also just good, clean fun. The average KJA book page there is filled with reviews from unsuspecting buyers who are just incredulous at what a poor writer he is. Many of the reactions are laugh-out-loud funny.

Slugger wrote:

2.0 out of 5 stars Extremely disappointed, August 3, 2002
By James L Mulder (Colorado Springs, CO) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Captain Nemo: The Fantastic History of a Dark Genius (Hardcover)
As others have said, Anderson describes Verne as a no-talent hack unable to come up with any original ideas without his periodic letters from Nemo. I find this especially ironic since Anderson has done nothing himself but tell synopses of Verne's work with only the barest of cohesion to fit into his storyline.

The only redeeming virtue of this book s that it may inspire readers to explore Verne's orignal works for themselves.
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Kinda sounds like Anderson (sub)consciously based Verne off himself...

I have not read this book, but I can absolutely guarantee that there is a "super-ultra giant squid" in it.

Cthulhu of course.

I think I pointed this out in one of the amazon threads. I love reading the 1 star reviews from other KJA books. It helps reinforce the feeling that I am being critical and not just nitpicky.

One of the awards that Keith mentions every time he gets the chance is the one that Ground Zero, his X-Files novel, got as the 'Best SF Novel of the Year' as voted for by readers of SFX magazine in 1995. So what does that award actually mean...? Well I used to collect most of the British SF mags at that time, and a quick root around in the hoard upstairs has unearthed the awards issue. In 1995 the X-Files was at the peak of its popularity over here and in the awards the show scooped the following: Best TV Show, 6 of the top 10 Best TV Episodes, Best Male SF TV Star, Best Female SF TV Star, Best SF TV Show of All Time!!, 3 of the top 4 Non-Fiction Books of the Year, Best Comic, Best Issue of a Comic, Best Comic Writer, Best Comic Artist, Sexiest Man in SF, Sexiest Female in SF - and, yes, Ground Zero won, not only, the Best SF Novel of the Year, but also came 4th in the Best SF Novel of All Time!!

So, in effect, this award he mentions 14 years later, is totally bloody meaningless - any X-Files novel would have won this award, he just happened to do the first one.

Here's what he said about his victory: "Well, that was quite a pleasant surprise! I am especially pleased to see my 'media' work vindicated in such a way: I work as hard on it as I do on my original fiction, but media work generally gets snubbed. If I am limited to a single word, I'll be very American and say 'Coooooool! If I am limited to a single symbol, I'll say '!' I don't suppose I can be briefer than that,"

So he was as much of a complete twat then as he is now...

Incidentally, Dune was voted Best SF Novel of All Time.

Great info, Sev.

Actually, Ground Zero was the third X-files novel. The first two were done by Charles Grant (and no doubt did extremely well in SFX magazine the previous year). So KJA didn't jump onto the X-files franchise until it was already well established. No pioneer, our Keith.

I had to smile at this:

I am especially pleased to see my 'media' work vindicated in such a way: I work as hard on it as I do on my original fiction, but media work generally gets snubbed.

Yeah, I'm not surprised his Star Wars novels got "snubbed". I guess that's what he's talking about here.

Incidentally, Dune was voted Best SF Novel of All Time.

I just had a vision of KJA checking the list in the mag, seeing his novel at #4, looking at the top of the list, seeing Dune, and bellowing, "BECCA! Get me Brian Herbert on the phone. I got an idea!"

HBJ

SadisticCynic wrote:Cthulhu of course.

Great-uber-super-deluxe-kickass-Cthulhu, of course. He's so monstrous that his feelers reach into low-Earth-orbit.

Sev wrote:I work as hard on it as I do on my original fiction...

Which also means less than nothing.

Sev wrote:... vindicated ...

There's Kevin J. Anderson in a nutshell. He views this sort of thing as some sort of "win" in some weird competition that only he can see.

And you called it, Sev: he didn't just become a complete asshole when he took over Dune in 1999. He's always been a complete asshole.

+++++

Another "award" favorite, if I might jump on this subject briefly:

Look for KJA to always mention his "New York Times notable book award." It's in every interview he ever does.

One problem, though: it's not an award at all.

If anything, it's just a designation. Each week, the NYT picks a handful of books to designate as "notable" for one reason or another. Each week. In other words, there's like 10,000 NYT "notables" running around out there.

Plus, he's never clear on which book he's talking about. My guess is that it's one of the early McDune efforts. Which would mean:

1. It's still not an award;

2. It's from a shared byline ... so he can only claim half-credit, at best;

3. It's from another author's original creation.

I really laughed out loud when I came across this line:

"So the errors are the most memorable part of the book"

Sauce: http://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Empire-Sag ... addOneStar" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Some of those are hilarious.

... the utter ridiculousness of an open decked ship in the atmosphere of a gas giant made my eyes goggle.

This caught my eye because Banks actually did this in The Algebraist ... but it made sense there.

HBJ

Hunchback Jack wrote:Some of those are hilarious.

... the utter ridiculousness of an open decked ship in the atmosphere of a gas giant made my eyes goggle.

This caught my eye because Banks actually did this in The Algebraist ... but it made sense there.

HBJ

Of course Banks has force feilds, I'll take a wild guess and say that KJA forgot any such thing would ne necessary.

Indeed. (See my sig).

It seems almost certain that KJA intended Seven Suns to be his "bestselling SF epic". Something that critics would praise as being "breathtaking in scope and grandeur", that would win awards or, at the very least, win him some credibility in the SF realm. A series to place him in the same class as Iain M. Banks or Alistair Reynolds.

Never mind that he didn't actually *have* an epic story to tell. He just filled up the pages with meaningless extra plot threads, cool ideas and characters until he had seven nice fat books. Why seven? Because it's the "Seven Suns" series, of course. Neat, huh?



HBJ

I get that sense, too. If you read between the lines, it looks like McKevin is finally starting to realize that his "epic" had absolutely no impact on the genre at all. Not even a ripple.

It's sinking in for him now ... and it's making him more bitter than usual.

I can just see his ugly little face lighting up as he works out the title "Saga of the Seven Suns".

"Gosh, I'm just so smart!"

Then imagine how he creamed himself when he got the idea of referring to it within the books themselves.

(I think I've got that right: in the books the Ilduanuses [or whatever; the name looks like a rip-off of one of Banks' alien races] have a great historical saga called ... wait for it ... The Saga of Seven Suns!!!)


(Every time someone bumps one of these Spice Grandson threads, I wonder if Myron has dared return to this violent, uncivil forum! )

SandChigger wrote:Then imagine how he creamed himself when he got the idea of referring to it within the books themselves.

(I think I've got that right: in the books the Ilduanuses [or whatever; the name looks like a rip-off of one of Banks' alien races] have a great historical saga called ... wait for it ... The Saga of Seven Suns!!!)


(Every time someone bumps one of these Spice Grandson threads, I wonder if Myron has dared return to this violent, uncivil forum! )

Wow.

I can't believe my utter lack of surprise at reading that the Hack refers to his own books, within those same books none the less, in an attempt to validate such books as "great sagas".

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Considering that all his idiot fan-boys seem to believe the mantra of "if you say it enough it becomes true" it shouldn't be a shock to anyone that the Hack takes this approach.

Just ... Wow ... FAIL

re: Merrit in the Sietch

if he lurks, he's not checking his PM box ....

I like to imagine the self-referential Saga shit as his first step towards trying to turn FH's books into in-universe documents.

It would be interesting to learn where he stole the idea from.


(I don't think Myron dares come by here anymore. Afraid of contamination, probably. )

It should have been Saga of the Two Suns from much what I'm seeing in my research.

Apparently, our good friend TheKJA set some sort of unofficial world record for streeeeeeeeetching things out with needless repetition, boring side-plots, and generous helpings of Filler Stew™. I'm now convinced that the only reason the damn thing went for seven books is because of the alliteration.

Hell of a reason there, Keith. I'm stunned that Tolkien, Asimov, Heinlein, Silverberg, Ellison and all those other guys didn't think of it first.

Here's a very frightening thought: remember how, after God Emperor of Dune, most people in the Dune universe have the Siona gene? What if... in the distant future everyone has the Kevin J Anderhole gene? ...And Anderhole is universally considered to be the GREETEST RYTER EVUR!!!1 Frightening, I know. It's as if Skynet--er, i mean "Omnius" had won.

PS. This was from one of the Amazon reviews for his Saga Of The Seven Books I Will Never Read Ever: "It is not reasonable to think that no one would have caught on immediately that creatures from a gas planet start attacking you right after turning a gas planet into a sun. What the hell? It is obvious they are ticked off about the whole planet destruction thing. No one gets this till the aliens tell them point blank." And somehow he thinks Jules Verne is the hack???

And here's the kicker (from same reviewer): "I read the Dune novels he worked on and I liked them. I bought this book because of them. This whole book was a disappointment. I will not be buying the second book. I won't even borrow it from the library. In fact I am throwing this book in the trash as I type this. " Anderhole alienates fans of his Doone fanfic with Saga of The Shitty Suns. I thought his Doone shit was terrible but he actually managed to write something even more revolting??? Wow... epic FAIL.

The first book of the Sag, Hidden Empire, is what he sent me when I first contacted him on MySpace. I've never been able to stomach trying to read more than a few chapters of it. Badly written crap. And his first Terra Incognita book was even worse. (Almost as bad as the first volume of Brian's Timeweb trilogy. )

thing is that saga is his own stuff, with Dune it took him a few books to manage to rape-rape it...
He had to use GBH, otherwise known as SoD:


edit: who did that Dune font already? thanks anyway!

lotek wrote:thing is that saga is his own stuff, with Dune it took him a few books to manage to rape-rape it...
He had to use GBH, otherwise known as SoD:


edit: who did that Dune font already? thanks anyway!

Silly boy - nu-dune is Benguiat

DuneFishUK wrote:

lotek wrote:thing is that saga is his own stuff, with Dune it took him a few books to manage to rape-rape it...
He had to use GBH, otherwise known as SoD:


edit: who did that Dune font already? thanks anyway!

Silly boy - nu-dune is Benguiat

it did feel wrong but i thought that came from my average use of photofiltre...
i stand corrected
http://dunefont.dribble-sponge.co.uk/?page_id=147" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;