Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

I check the forums every couple of weeks and see how far along we are into the "30 - 90 day" sill offered. I don't think that comment really discounts how long we've gone without hearing something from him. Still pushing it.

You'll know before he does, RedStar — guaranteed. He's getting his news (such as it is) the same way the rest of us are: Google searches and random internet cruising.

He's not in the loop on this one. Hell, I'm beginning to wonder if Keith "Big-Shot Producer" Anderhack is even in the loop.

TheDukester wrote:You'll know before he does, RedStar — guaranteed. He's getting his news (such as it is) the same way the rest of us are: Google searches and random internet cruising.

He's not in the loop on this one. Hell, I'm beginning to wonder if Keith "Big-Shot Producer" Anderhack is even in the loop.

He wouldn't have been able to resist twatting about it if he was.

Freakzilla wrote:twatting

I don't really talk about Twitter, but I usually have to catch myself from saying "twatter."

Yesssssssssss!

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/ ... morel.html

While the Ouija movie could be a traditional horror picture (think pretty young things haunted by strange occurences on a creepy sleepover), it's actually being developed as an action-adventure in the vein of "National Treasure." Michael Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, and several "Lost" writers are behind it. The Morel discussions underscore the adventure scope of the film; the director's 2009 phenomenon had plenty of high-speed chases and action.

Morel is busy at the moment working on the much-chewed-over "Dune" reboot. And discussions are still preliminary -- other directors are in the mix too -- so no one is going to rush this film into production. But with reports that another Universal Hasbro movie, "Stretch Armstrong," could be pushed to 2013, it could make the studio's urgency for a big action movie -- the exact sort of picture that "Ouija" is being conceived as -- that much greater.

Morel will get lured away to do another flick just like Berg, and this sucker will never get made.

Or they really WILL get Michael Bay.

YESSSSSSSS! FOR THE FAIL!

Michael Bay: Hey Guys, I gotta talk to you about this new fuckin' movie I'm doin' for ya.

Producer 1: "Dune"? Well sure.

Producer 2: What is it, Michael?

[Uncomfortable pause]

MB: What the fuck'd you call me?

P1: (sotto voce) He likes to be called "Big Mike".

P2: What?

P1: (sotto voce) He LIKES to be called "BIG MIKE".

P2: Oh, er ... what is it ... Big Mike?

MB: All right then. Yeah, this movie. I just can't get my fuckin' head around it. It's all talk talk talk until a third of the way in, the guy's fuckin' Dad dies, he goes off with a bunch of Ayrabs, spaces out on some weird drug, and whatever the fuck else, I didn't read the rest. I mean ... what the fuck?

P2: Well, that's pretty much the story, Big Mike. That's Dune.

MB: Well, we gotta change it. No one's going to watch that shit. Change it all. Starting with the title.

P1: The title? "Dune"?

MB: Yeah, "Dune". What the fuck is "Dune"? Has no brand recognition. And sounds boring as fuck. Might as well call the movie "Sand". We need to punch it up.

P2: Punch it up?

MB: You got it. Gimme some fuckin' ideas. Go.

P1: Er ... Big Mike, I don't think ...

P2: How about an exclamation point?

MB: A what?

P2: An exclamation point. You know, like, "Dune!". That's pretty punchy.

MB: ... are you retarded?

P2: Excuse me?

MB: Are you fuckin' retarded? I ask you for ideas to punch up this fuckin' movie title and you're givin' me fuckin' punctuation.

P2: Well, I ...

P1: Hey, I know. See, the books had different titles, all with "Dune" in them.

MB: The what?

P1: The books, Big Mike. The story is based on some books written by a guy named Frank Herbert. They all had Dune in their titles. Maybe we could do the same thing. Call it something "of Dune".

MB: "Something of Dune"? What kind of fuckin' ...

P2: No, no, Big Mike, not LITERALLY "Something of Dune". Just have "of Dune" in the title. Like "Sands of Dune", or "Heroes of Dune".

P1: (sotto voce) psst no, no, Ixnay on the Eroeshay. There was no "Heroes of Du...

MB: Look, you guys just don't fuckin' get it. If this movie's gonna make any money, we gotta market it to kids. They'll not only see the movie, they'll play the video game, buy the DVD, watch the spin-off cartoon on cable, right? They don't know what the fuck a "Dune" is. We gotta some up with something else. What's the coolest thing in the movie? The thing kids will get excited about?

P1 ... the ... worms?

MB: ... You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

P2: No really, Big Mike they're big monster worms. I guess you didn't read that far into the screenplay.

MB: Well, okay. Big motherfuckin' worms. I guess we can work with that. How about "Worms".

P1: "Worms"?

MB: Yeah, okay, it needs something more. "Cyborg Worms".

P2: Er, Big Mike, I don't think the worms are cyborgs. They're just giant worms.

MB: We can make them cyborgs though, right?

P2: Er, well ...

P1: Sure, Big Mike. You say they're cyborg worms, they're cyborg worms. No problem.

MB: Right, okay. And to make it punchier, we put an exclamation point on the end. "Cyborg Worms!"

P2: Hey, that was my ide...

P1: You got it, Big Mike.

MB: Fuckin' excellent. Movie sounds better already. We'll work on the other stuff later. Oh, and one more thing ...

P1: Yes, Big Mike?

MB: You tell that lard-ass writer ... what's his name?

P1: er ... Kevin J. Anderson?

MB: Yeah, you tell that fucktard Kevin Jackass FUCKING Anderson that if I see him on my fuckin' set again, I'll tear his guts out and shove 'em up his asshole, got it?

P2: Er, but your guts are *already* up your ass...

P1: You got it, Big Mike. You'll never see him again.

MB. You fuckin' bet I won't. Fuckin' "Cyborg Worms!". This movie is gonna be a winner.

P1 & P2: Yes, Big Mike.


HBJ

Maybe in 60-90 days Byron will announce that this will now "officially" be pushed out to 2014 to coincide with the release of the Great School series which will also be pushed back.

Personally, I hope they squeeze the first one out. This series is primed to be their worst yet.

If MIchael Bay is hired, we can officially declare there's some kind of strange curse on Dune.

HBJ, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Good job!

see, it's fun, ain't it Jack?
you just get to rollin' ....


but back the fuck up a few posts - the Stretch Armstrong movie ?
that's like, got to be the line, yeah ? that gotta be the last nail in Hollywood's brain-coffin ...

SandRider wrote:...

but back the fuck up a few posts - the Stretch Armstrong movie ?
that's like, got to be the line, yeah ? that gotta be the last nail in Hollywood's brain-coffin ...

Yeah, I was surprised it took this long for someone to mention that...

SadisticCynic wrote:

SandRider wrote:...

but back the fuck up a few posts - the Stretch Armstrong movie ?
that's like, got to be the line, yeah ? that gotta be the last nail in Hollywood's brain-coffin ...

Yeah, I was surprised it took this long for someone to mention that...

I didn't realize what Stretch Armstrong was until now.

On February 5, 2010, Universal Studios announced Taylor Lautner will star as Armstrong and that the film will be in 3-D. The film is produced by Brian Grazer. Grazer states "Stretch Armstrong is a character I have wanted to see on screen for a long time ... It’s a story about a guy stretching ... the limits of what is possible to become all that he can be."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stretch_Armstrong



Wow.

So does that mean we'll get to see a giant boy (genetic experiment gone wild? nuclear reactor melt-down contamination victim?) try to rip the arms off Taylor Lautner?

Kewl.

SandChigger wrote:So does that mean we'll get to see a giant boy (genetic experiment gone wild? nuclear reactor melt-down contamination victim?) try to rip the arms off Taylor Lautner?

Kewl.

Actually, I would watch that.

Yeah... that would completely rock.

But will they ask ME to write the screenplay? NOOOOOO!

Edit:

DUNE MOVIE UPDATES:

Byron Merritt, on the DumeNovels BBS...

- on October 15: "Just gotta be careful with information. Want to make sure it's accurate and coming from the correct sources."

Where the fuck else would YOU be getting it, dumbass? Oh, right, as we suspected: from teh Internetz!

- on October 17: "I know everyone wants information and details, but things often move slowest right before the flood."

Yeah, I know that feeling... especially after eating too much for lunch at the French place around the corner. Sometimes I just barely make it back to the office and the comfatoily!

- on October 20, denying rumors that Morel was fucking off like Berg: "Nope. [The director]'s still Morel."

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EXCITING UPDATE. IN 60 OR 90 DAYS!

(Fucker don't know shit.)

SandChigger wrote: STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EXCITING UPDATE. IN 60 OR 90 DAYS!

(Fucker don't know shit.)

That much is clear as fucking day... But I think this is a possible indication that the entire HLP is pretty much out-of-the-loop when it comes to movie-talk... Which is fine by me, of course.

Definitely.

It also probably means KJA is completely out of it as well.

(That or he's holding out on the HLP. )

This morning some guy named John Lindsey started a thread in the Science Fiction forums over on Amazon entitled "New Dune movie coming 2012.":

French director Pierre Morel who did "District B-13" and other French films is a huge fan of the novels and is joining for Paramount's 4-part big screen "Dune" motion picture. Could be great if they can find the right talented cast, the effects could be great and this could do Herbert proud than Lynch's 47 million dollar dud, the fair enough TV mini-series although i do admit Children of Dune was superior to the first.

Nothing new or interesting except the "4-part" bit. Anyone have any clue what that's about? I posted a comment asking for clarification.

(And, yeah, his English is weird, huh? I looked at some of his 746 reviews and it appears to be characteristic. Go figure.)

Googling turned up some old posts from March or so in another forum by Harry Canyon that also mentioned the film being in four parts. Harry's a member here as well and was just back through the other day. Harry, what's the word?

4-part? hmm. Dune, DM, CoD, GEoD? Now that would make for a pretty ballsy cinematic gamble. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing it, but dang.

Thinking of some actors to play parts, does anyone think that Damian Lewis (Band of Brothers) would look great as Shaddam? Just visually. I'm not sure he'd be the right actor for the part, but he really looks a lot like how Shaddam is described.

What I'd like to see is the following 4-parter:

1) Dune

2) Messiah/Children

3) GEoD

4) Heretics/Chapterhouse/Dune7 (yes, this last one requires either McDune or a new vision of Dune 7 to complete the story. Hopefully by the time this reaches the scriptwriting stage BH/KJA will be out of the picture)

Of course, I guess this could actually be a vision of a Dune movie that covers all four major chapters of Canon in one film. But that doesn't sound too appealing to me, it would gloss over WAY too much which any Hollywood version will always have trouble with to begin with.

Yes, but has anyone else seen anything official mentioning it being in four parts? This was the first time I'd noticed anything of the sort, and so I'm thinking it's a mistake or misunderstanding.

(Lindsey hasn't replied on the Amazon thread. No other comments but mine.)