Jokes of the Imperium
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- Tleszer
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Jokes of the Imperium
Anyone got any Dune-based jokes? I thought of one that still needs work earlier today, but figured I'd just post it anyway.
Q: What sex position do renegade Bene Gesserit enjoy the most?
A: In extreme ass.
Yeah, quite terrible, but I hope it can get the ball rolling.
Q: What sex position do renegade Bene Gesserit enjoy the most?
A: In extreme ass.
Yeah, quite terrible, but I hope it can get the ball rolling.
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
I liked it. I laughed out loud.
- lotek
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
What makes girls look prettier than they were in an Arrakeen pub?
spice beer goggles!
spice beer goggles!
Spice is the worm's gonads.
- Tleszer
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Want to boing your hot boss? Gurney Halleck does. Into bestiality? So is Gurney Halleck!
Vote Gurney Halleck for Mayor of Giedi Prime. (Paid for by the friends of Gurney Halleck.)
Gurney Halleck wrote:Mood's a thing for cattle or making love.
Vote Gurney Halleck for Mayor of Giedi Prime. (Paid for by the friends of Gurney Halleck.)
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- Tleszer
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Q: Ever wonder why it took 6 years for Jessica to try to be friendly with Yueh?
A: All she could ever think about were the pictures that Wanna kept showing her of Wellington's Yueh!
I'm here all night!
A: All she could ever think about were the pictures that Wanna kept showing her of Wellington's Yueh!
I'm here all night!
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- DuneFishUK
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
A robber stops a fremen at knife-point and demands, "Your water or your life!"
The fremen looks at him, and asks, "Are you taking the piss?"
The fremen looks at him, and asks, "Are you taking the piss?"
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- SadisticCynic
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
I like that one!DuneFishUK wrote:A robber stops a fremen at knife-point and demands, "Your water or your life!"
The fremen looks at him, and asks, "Are you taking the piss?"
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity
- SandRider
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
A Bene Gesserit Acolyte, two Fremen SandRiders, a Guild Envoy and a Duncan Idaho ghola walk into a bar ...
the water-seller looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke ?"
the water-seller looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke ?"
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- merkin muffley
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
SandRider wrote:A Bene Gesserit Acolyte, two Fremen SandRiders, a Guild Envoy and a Duncan Idaho ghola walk into a bar ...
the water-seller looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke ?"
Two Bene Gesserit were riding a tandem bike down a cobblestone street... (I guess that's just a nun joke).
- DuneFishUK
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
This one isn't mine - I heard/read it ages ago:
Why did Muad'dib cross the galaxy?
To kill sixty-one billion people.
Why did Muad'dib cross the galaxy?
To kill sixty-one billion people.
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- SandRider
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
anybody want to take a crack at some real "Jokes of the Imperium" ?
what would the Average Joe of the last Padishah Emperor's time think was funny ?
what would the Average Joe of the last Padishah Emperor's time think was funny ?
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- Tleszer
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Why did Fenring cross the road?
It certainly wasn't h-m-m-m to assassinate an h-m-m-m-m-m-ah Emperor!
It certainly wasn't h-m-m-m to assassinate an h-m-m-m-m-m-ah Emperor!
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- SandChigger
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- Tleszer
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Maybe I should've had a disclaimer for that one.
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- SandWrrm
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
What do you call a sietch-dwelling group of women's rights activists?
The Fremyn.
The Fremyn.
...You feel flesh crisping... like chicken. You feel flesh... dropping off... like crumbs from chicken...
- SadisticCynic
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Wooing the doorwardens with a joke. Smooth.
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity
- SandWrrm
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Doorwardens?
...You feel flesh crisping... like chicken. You feel flesh... dropping off... like crumbs from chicken...
- SadisticCynic
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
People guarding the entrance to the sietch, just trying (and failing) to be funny .
P.S (Doorwardens aren't mentioned in Dune to my knowledge).
P.S (Doorwardens aren't mentioned in Dune to my knowledge).
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity
- SandWrrm
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Mkay, here's another lame joke that hit me out of nowhere:
Three Dune fans- an Orthodox Herbertarian and two Prequel lovers- are in a checkout line at Barnes and Noble. They'd been arguing and debating and attempting to prove points for ages, and had finally moved to the front of the line. "So, what're you getting?" the first Preq asked the second. He holds up Paul of Dune. "You?" The first guy holds up Sandworms. They turn to the Orthodox and raise their eyebrows, and he holds up Harry Potter. They look at him skeptically, and he replies, "Well, I figured if you guys weren't reading Dune, neither would I."
Three Dune fans- an Orthodox Herbertarian and two Prequel lovers- are in a checkout line at Barnes and Noble. They'd been arguing and debating and attempting to prove points for ages, and had finally moved to the front of the line. "So, what're you getting?" the first Preq asked the second. He holds up Paul of Dune. "You?" The first guy holds up Sandworms. They turn to the Orthodox and raise their eyebrows, and he holds up Harry Potter. They look at him skeptically, and he replies, "Well, I figured if you guys weren't reading Dune, neither would I."
...You feel flesh crisping... like chicken. You feel flesh... dropping off... like crumbs from chicken...
- TheDukester
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Ha! I like it.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- SandWrrm
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Thanks!TheDukester wrote:Ha! I like it.
...You feel flesh crisping... like chicken. You feel flesh... dropping off... like crumbs from chicken...
- SandRider
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
I like that too; I think with a little polishing, it could become an OH classic - a copypasta to drop
all over the net ...
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?
all over the net ...
I've still been thinking about this - a hard one, you'd have to really put yourself in the mindset ofSandRider wrote:anybody want to take a crack at some real "Jokes of the Imperium" ?
what would the Average Joe of the last Padishah Emperor's time think was funny ?
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- merkin muffley
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
I can't think of a "Joke," of the top of my head. These probably fall under the "amusement" category, but I think they are instances of characters expressing a little bit of their sense of humor.SandRider wrote:you'd have to really put yourself in the mindset of
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?
Atreides soldiers in DUNE wrote: “Me for a hot shower and a soft bed!”
“Haven't you heard, stupid? No showers down here. You scrub your ass with sand!”
Shadout Mapes wrote: "Why you know, my Lady, I don't even have to wear my stillsuit in here?" She cackled. "And me not even dead!"
DUNE wrote: "Harvesting the spice is a process of getting in and getting out with as much as possible.”
“Admirably suited to Harkonnen morality,” the Duke said.
Laughter was abrupt and too loud.
EDIT: Also plenty of banter in the training scene with Paul and Gurney early on in Dune.
- SandWrrm
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
SandRider wrote:I like that too; I think with a little polishing, it could become an OH classic - a copypasta to drop
all over the net ...
Yeah, I could've worded it better; it's actually a re-written version of a joke I heard one time, but I can't remember what the original was...
Hmm... There's the part in Messiah when Paul stops Alia while fighting in the nude, and he says something about how Gurney totally embarrassed him after catching him doing the same thing (albeit clothed,) in the past. I always wondered what he did that was so embarrassing...can anyone pull out an example of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?
yeah, I don't know. A little amusement, but no humor.
...You feel flesh crisping... like chicken. You feel flesh... dropping off... like crumbs from chicken...
- TheDukester
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium
Yeah, Frank Herbert is never a writer I turned to for fun.
I'd go so far as to say his books are humor-less. I'm not sure if there's any deeper meaning to be had from that or not, but I'm pretty sure it's true. You don't go to FH for the mad lulz.
I'd go so far as to say his books are humor-less. I'm not sure if there's any deeper meaning to be had from that or not, but I'm pretty sure it's true. You don't go to FH for the mad lulz.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.