Anger Management
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- Irulan Corrino
- Posts: 35
- Joined: 25 Apr 2008 08:51
- Location: Arrakis. Dune. Desert Planet.
- Contact:
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic asshole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic asshole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
- SandRider
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I take back all the nasty shit I said & thought about you.
That's something I'd do.
Now, about that proposition .......![Twisted Evil :twisted:](./images/smilies/icon/twisted.gif)
That's something I'd do.
Now, about that proposition .......
![Twisted Evil :twisted:](./images/smilies/icon/twisted.gif)
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
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Re: Anger Management
Can't even dial a number right, huh?Irulan Corrino wrote:I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- SandChigger
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- Irulan Corrino
- Posts: 35
- Joined: 25 Apr 2008 08:51
- Location: Arrakis. Dune. Desert Planet.
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- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
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- SandRider
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now I take all that back.SandRider wrote:I take back all the nasty shit I said & thought about you.
That's something I'd do.
Now, about that proposition .......
Fuck you twice as hard.
{never doubt the SandChigger's character judgement.
good call, buddy.}
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- GamePlayer
- 70mm God
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- Mandy
- Cat Herder
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- SandChigger
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- SandRider
- Watermaster
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Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys' Bandwagon Worldwide Tour and Alligator Wrestling Championship.
Bus leaves the Austin Greyhound terminal 'bout 11:15pm tonight.....
Bus leaves the Austin Greyhound terminal 'bout 11:15pm tonight.....
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- Mandy
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- SandChigger
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- Omphalos
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- chanilover
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Re: Anger Management
Irulan Corrino wrote:So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
Wow, you really looked like a woman in that picture you posted a while ago. Good work!
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
![Image](http://i25.tinypic.com/34j5303.jpg)
![Image](http://i55.tinypic.com/qzht28.jpg)
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- chanilover
- Posts: 1644
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Oh, so you are a woman after all. Well, good work anyway.Irulan Corrino wrote:It's just funny. (A friend passed it to me, I thought I'd share...firs time I laughed so hard, I had tears coming out of my eyes.)
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
![Image](http://i25.tinypic.com/34j5303.jpg)
![Image](http://i55.tinypic.com/qzht28.jpg)
![Image](http://i25.tinypic.com/34j5303.jpg)
![Image](http://i55.tinypic.com/qzht28.jpg)
- SandRider
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My G-d, son, you cain't tell me you ain't never heard of the bestSandChigger wrote:Kewl.
(Do you have Jewboys in Texas?)
little band to ever play in Texas ?
They had one hit record in the 70s:
"They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore"
Still play around the state alot - got some exposure again when
Kinky ran for governor.
(the name was a play on the most famous of Texas Swing bands,
Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys)
(You've heard of Him, right ? "Bob Wills is still the King" ?)
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/sandrider_WSOP.jpg)
![Image](http://i499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/SandRider_bucket/Avatars/mind-killer-final-image_path320x200.jpg)
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- TheDukester
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On the Blues brothers
\TheDukester wrote:"Oh, we got both kinds. We got country AND western."
If you're gonna say that, then,
I'm a Sole Man! Do-do duh-do-do.