Political Humor

[redbugpest]

Awsome!

[Freakzilla]

NBA or NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving In the last year


Can
You guess which organization this is?
NBA Or NFL
?


Neither,
it's the 535 members of the
United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out
Hundreds of new laws each year
Designed to keep the rest of us in line.

[Freakzilla]

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

[Drunken Idaho]

Right, because things were just grand during the golden Bush years...

[A Thing of Eternity]

That is a pretty funny joke actually, probably pretty old.

[Freakzilla]

That is a pretty funny joke actually, probably pretty old.

If SR were here, he'd tell us how old.

[Eyes High]

I want SandRider back....

[Freakzilla]

Ray Stevens sings about Obamacare:

[Drunken Idaho]

[SandRider]

That is a pretty funny joke actually, probably pretty old.

If SR were here, he'd tell us how old.

phone >> telegraph
George Junior >> Lincoln

[Omphalos]

Ray Stevens sings about Obamacare:

"We the people have awakened." That's a fucking laugh. Like the good man said. Its not a goddam Bolshevik plot.

[Drunken Idaho]

That video made me sick. Fucking fools don't even know how bad their current system ass-rapes them, and they pretend it has something to do with being patriotic. Ignorant fucking retard puppets. Not that the latest healthcare bill is going to help though. It's a pathetic plan, and it basically strengthens the grip that the health insurance companies have on the customers that depend on them. Notice that all the Tea Parties and protests have fizzled out. That's because the Insurance companies that funded and instigated these rallies fucking LOVE this bill!

Sorry, this issue gets me pretty pissed off. It's got to be Universal Healthcare (yes, socialization), or at least a public option, otherwise it's utter crap.

[Freakzilla]

You know it's a bad plan when the politicians who write it exempt themselves from it.

[Snowball]

The guy's Roy Zimmerman, he's got a bunch of other hilarious songs on YT. This one's my favorite by far though.

[Freakzilla]

Too soon?

[Freakzilla]

[A Thing of Eternity]

[Freakzilla]

Military Humor

[Freakzilla]

Australian Submarine Fleet Fiasco

[Freakzilla]

Fallen Soldiers on Google Earth

[Freakzilla]

[Freakzilla]

Shoe throwing goes viral: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/throwing_shoes" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Freakzilla]

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno



America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno



Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien



What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno



What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman



If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
America !
--Jimmy Fallon



What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel



What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman

[Freakzilla]

How many zeros in a billion? This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of Putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.


A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago our ancestors were Living in the Stone Age.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, At the rate our government Is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans...
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) Is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS To rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number...

What does it mean?

Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) You each get $516,528.

Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787..

Or... If you are a family of four.... Your family gets $2,066,012.

[Freakzilla]

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . . . .




Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.





* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.


* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.


* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.





Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?




Think about this:


1. Cows


2. The Constitution


3. The Ten Commandments





COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.




THE CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq...why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.




THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.