Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Anyone got any Dune-based jokes? I thought of one that still needs work earlier today, but figured I'd just post it anyway.

Q: What sex position do renegade Bene Gesserit enjoy the most?
A: In extreme ass.



Yeah, quite terrible, but I hope it can get the ball rolling.

I liked it. I laughed out loud.

What makes girls look prettier than they were in an Arrakeen pub?

spice beer goggles!

Want to boing your hot boss? Gurney Halleck does. Into bestiality? So is Gurney Halleck!

Gurney Halleck wrote:Mood's a thing for cattle or making love.

Vote Gurney Halleck for Mayor of Giedi Prime. (Paid for by the friends of Gurney Halleck.)

Q: Ever wonder why it took 6 years for Jessica to try to be friendly with Yueh?
A: All she could ever think about were the pictures that Wanna kept showing her of Wellington's Yueh!

I'm here all night!

A robber stops a fremen at knife-point and demands, "Your water or your life!"
The fremen looks at him, and asks, "Are you taking the piss?"

DuneFishUK wrote:A robber stops a fremen at knife-point and demands, "Your water or your life!"
The fremen looks at him, and asks, "Are you taking the piss?"

I like that one!

A Bene Gesserit Acolyte, two Fremen SandRiders, a Guild Envoy and a Duncan Idaho ghola walk into a bar ...

the water-seller looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke ?"

SandRider wrote:A Bene Gesserit Acolyte, two Fremen SandRiders, a Guild Envoy and a Duncan Idaho ghola walk into a bar ...

the water-seller looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke ?"

Two Bene Gesserit were riding a tandem bike down a cobblestone street... (I guess that's just a nun joke).

This one isn't mine - I heard/read it ages ago:


Why did Muad'dib cross the galaxy?

To kill sixty-one billion people.

anybody want to take a crack at some real "Jokes of the Imperium" ?

what would the Average Joe of the last Padishah Emperor's time think was funny ?

Why did Fenring cross the road?

It certainly wasn't h-m-m-m to assassinate an h-m-m-m-m-m-ah Emperor!

BOO!

Maybe I should've had a disclaimer for that one.

What do you call a sietch-dwelling group of women's rights activists?
The Fremyn.

Wooing the doorwardens with a joke. Smooth.

Doorwardens?

People guarding the entrance to the sietch, just trying (and failing) to be funny .

P.S (Doorwardens aren't mentioned in Dune to my knowledge).

Mkay, here's another lame joke that hit me out of nowhere:

Three Dune fans- an Orthodox Herbertarian and two Prequel lovers- are in a checkout line at Barnes and Noble. They'd been arguing and debating and attempting to prove points for ages, and had finally moved to the front of the line. "So, what're you getting?" the first Preq asked the second. He holds up Paul of Dune. "You?" The first guy holds up Sandworms. They turn to the Orthodox and raise their eyebrows, and he holds up Harry Potter. They look at him skeptically, and he replies, "Well, I figured if you guys weren't reading Dune, neither would I."

Ha! I like it.

TheDukester wrote:Ha! I like it.

Thanks!

I like that too; I think with a little polishing, it could become an OH classic - a copypasta to drop
all over the net ...

SandRider wrote:anybody want to take a crack at some real "Jokes of the Imperium" ?

what would the Average Joe of the last Padishah Emperor's time think was funny ?

I've still been thinking about this - a hard one, you'd have to really put yourself in the mindset of
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?

SandRider wrote:you'd have to really put yourself in the mindset of
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?

I can't think of a "Joke," of the top of my head. These probably fall under the "amusement" category, but I think they are instances of characters expressing a little bit of their sense of humor.

Atreides soldiers in DUNE wrote: “Me for a hot shower and a soft bed!”
“Haven't you heard, stupid? No showers down here. You scrub your ass with sand!”

Shadout Mapes wrote: "Why you know, my Lady, I don't even have to wear my stillsuit in here?" She cackled. "And me not even dead!"

DUNE wrote: "Harvesting the spice is a process of getting in and getting out with as much as possible.”
“Admirably suited to Harkonnen morality,” the Duke said.
Laughter was abrupt and too loud.

EDIT: Also plenty of banter in the training scene with Paul and Gurney early on in Dune.

SandRider wrote:I like that too; I think with a little polishing, it could become an OH classic - a copypasta to drop
all over the net ...

Yeah, I could've worded it better; it's actually a re-written version of a joke I heard one time, but I can't remember what the original was...

can anyone pull out an example of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?

Hmm... There's the part in Messiah when Paul stops Alia while fighting in the nude, and he says something about how Gurney totally embarrassed him after catching him doing the same thing (albeit clothed,) in the past. I always wondered what he did that was so embarrassing...

yeah, I don't know. A little amusement, but no humor.

Yeah, Frank Herbert is never a writer I turned to for fun.

I'd go so far as to say his books are humor-less. I'm not sure if there's any deeper meaning to be had from that or not, but I'm pretty sure it's true. You don't go to FH for the mad lulz.