Jokes of the Imperium

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D Pope
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby D Pope » 20 Oct 2010 14:31

SandRider wrote:I've still been thinking about this - a hard one, you'd have to really put yourself in the mindset of
the POV of the joke-teller's class or station ... f'instance, any army joke could be tailored to be
an Atreides trooper, but that would still be from our POV ... can anyone pull out an example
of humor from Frank's books? right off the top of my head, I can't think of anything ... amusement,
maybe, but actual humor ?


The only actual jokes I remember Frank writing come from The Lazarus Effect.

Islander joke;
How do mermen make love?
Same way every time!


Merman joke;
What's the problem with making love to a mute?
Finding the right oriface!


edit; In true FH style, these examples are perfect for the world they're written in.
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
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SadisticCynic
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby SadisticCynic » 20 Oct 2010 15:18

There is also the possibilty that those jokes are Ransom's.
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby D Pope » 20 Oct 2010 15:34

Agreed, that is a real possibilty.
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Shaitan » 21 Oct 2010 02:45

lotek wrote:What makes girls look prettier than they were in an Arrakeen pub?

spice beer goggles!


I always thought it was sort of self-negating (a theme that seems to come up often in FH's work) that spice beer could make you both crunk AND prescient at the same time.

Do beer goggles apply to the future? Hmm.
Last edited by Shaitan on 23 Oct 2010 05:51, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby SandChigger » 22 Oct 2010 23:50

"Ya Muad'Dib! Limadha abara Shai-Hulud al-bilad?"

"Li-l-wusul ila l-janib al-akhra, ya Stilgar!"


:shock:

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby A Thing of Eternity » 23 Oct 2010 00:00

:lol: Solid gold.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Shaitan » 23 Oct 2010 05:54

SandChigger wrote:"Ya Muad'Dib! Limadha abara Shai-Hulud al-bilad?"

"Li-l-wusul ila l-janib al-akhra, ya Stilgar!"


:shock:


Funny, Jacurutu.com came up on the first page of results when I searched for "Fremen translator" (should I have been searching for Chakobsa translator?) trying to cheat my way through this somehow.

I'm trying to guess at this with my pidgin Arabic but I'm failing utterly. And "pidgin" is a very generous way of describing my pathetic grasp of Arabic.
"When the going gets weird, the Weird turn Pro." -Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby SandChigger » 23 Oct 2010 23:37

I always make sure all the words are in one of the (two) vocabulary posts in the "Fremen for Dunies" page before posting something new.

(Hint: It's a really OLD joke, localized to Dune and translated into Fremen/Arabic. ;) )

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby aethereon » 25 Oct 2010 10:10

SandChigger wrote:I always make sure all the words are in one of the (two) vocabulary posts in the "Fremen for Dunies" page before posting something new.

(Hint: It's a really OLD joke, localized to Dune and translated into Fremen/Arabic. ;) )


SandChigger wrote:Vocabulary List...Last edited by SandChigger on Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.


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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby SandChigger » 25 Oct 2010 20:15

Feast often follows famine. Be watchful for the Maker's call...

;)

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Alpha Carinae » 08 Dec 2010 16:33

Fun thread! I'll have a crack :)


An old Fremen cautionary tale:

In the cool of night, the two young Fremen start out across the erg. To speak of their experience would be premature. Indeed, some have said of these two (as the old saying goes) that they are each one hook short of a worm-rider. However, they remember their lessons from in-sietch and keep their stillsuits tight and their wits ready.

"Hold!" Hisses Korba to Jamis.

Pop, pop, pop.

"Here comes Muad'dib. Pointer of the way."

Pop, pop, pop.

"Remember your lessons, Jamis. The kangaroo-mouse teaches us the wisdom of the desert. We must do as he does."

"Are you sure, Korba? I don't wish to grow my ears so."

"Do not be so childish, Jamis. Follow my lead."

"Yes, Korba."

Pop, pop, pop.

On the distant ridge, Stilgar watches the crossing, using oil-lenses in the light of the first moon. Suddenly, with wide eyes, he drops his binoculars to the ground.

The sound of their passage travels even to his elevated position.

Pop, pop, pop.

Presently, Stilgar bows his head sadly.

"Bless the maker and his water..."

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SadisticCynic
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby SadisticCynic » 08 Dec 2010 17:06

:lol: I like it!
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity

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How many Bene Gesserits does it take? Dune Joke.

Postby Reverend_Mother_Lani » 25 Mar 2012 03:01

Q: How many Bene Gesserits does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three!

... A first Reverend Mother to forsee the event in a Spice trance...
... A second Reverend Mother to order the acolyte Sister to perform the task at hand.
... The third Sister, of course, is the one who does the actual screwing.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Tleszer » 25 Mar 2012 09:13

:lol:
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie

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Dune Jokes: Young Princess Irulan Wants To Marry

Postby Reverend_Mother_Lani » 26 Mar 2012 03:17

Dune Jokes.

Dune Joke: Young Princess Irulan Wants To Marry

One day, the young teen-age Princess Irulan brings home a boyfriend to the palace, and tells her father, Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV, she wants to marry the handsome boy. The Emperor takes the boy aside to talk with him in private. A few moments later the Emperor emerges into the throne room and with a booming voice, commands his daughter: "I forbid you to marry him! This young man is actually your half brother." The Princess goes crying to her chambers.

In the following year, the same problem happens again four more times.

At this point, Princess Irulan gets quite angry, runs to her mother Anirul and exclaims, "Oh, mother dear... what has been going on all this time in your palace? It seems that daddy Shaddam has been screwing every maiden in this city! Now he says I can't marry any of the boys I like, because they have all turned out to be my half brothers!"

Irulan's mother whispers in her daughters ear, "Shhhhhush darling, don't worry... you can marry any one of them you want... Shaddam isn't really your father.
Oh, but please stay away from the kitchen staff."
Last edited by Reverend_Mother_Lani on 03 Apr 2012 09:29, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Freakzilla » 26 Mar 2012 09:07

Nice :lol:
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby inhuien » 27 Mar 2012 06:10

What do you call a Scattering Banker who has lost his car?














Carlos!!! Ba dum tssss!
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Dune Jokes: Fremen and Harkonnen at a Bar

Postby Reverend_Mother_Lani » 28 Mar 2012 00:02

Dune Jokes
Dune Joke: Fremen and Harkonnen at a Bar
========================================

A Fremen is sitting at a bar, just looking down, staring into his drink for hours.

A drunken brute Harkonnen steps up to the bar, and snatches the drink away from the sad Fremen. The Harkonnen says "If you aint gonna drink this, I sure as Saitan will !" The Harkonnen drinks it all down in a few gulps, throws the glass shattering against the back of the bar.

The Fremen looks up, just stares into the Harkonnen's eyes.

The Harkonnen says, "I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another damned drink."

The Fremen says, "No thanks. You must understand, this has been the worst day of my life, up until now... First, I fell asleep at work and my boss Naib fired me. Then I went and lost all my family money gambling. When I arrived home, I found my wife in bed with the boss Naib."

"And just now, as I am sitting here thinking about putting an end to my sad life, you show up and drink all my poison chaumurky."
Last edited by Reverend_Mother_Lani on 14 Apr 2012 10:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Freakzilla » 28 Mar 2012 00:10

Excuse me, Your Reverence, but I don't think we've been properly introduced...

viewforum.php?f=14&start=0
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Dune Jokes: Sandworm and Fremen

Postby Reverend_Mother_Lani » 28 Mar 2012 03:05

Dune Jokes.

Dune Joke: Sandworm and Fremen.
=====================

A man walking along near the edge of a Fremen village came upon a small sandworm about to eat a young Fremen boy playing in the desert. The man quickly drew his lazzgunn and blasted the sandworm to bits.

A visiting news-reporter from Arrakeen saw the incident, congratulated the man, and told him the headline the following day would read:
"Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Sandworm"

The hero, however, told the journalist, "I'm not from the local village."

The reporter replies, "Well, then, the headline will say:
"Arrakeen Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Sandworm"

"Actually," the hero said, "I'm a Harkonnen from Giedi Prime."

"In that case," the reporter scoffed, " the headline will read:
"Evil Alien Kills Family Pet"


.
by Reverend Mother Lani

You are invited, Take a journey.
A strange and distant sand dune world... Share a vision.

Lani region of OSGrid - an OpenSim metaverse 3d virtual world.
Elegant style, feudal future Sci Fi Space RP. Beware of Giant Worms!

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Freakzilla » 28 Mar 2012 09:43

Fremen don't live in villages and you can't kill a sandworm with a lasgun. Nice try though!
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby inhuien » 28 Mar 2012 11:46

Does the humour have to be 100% consistent with the published canon? Tough crowd RM Lani. :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby inhuien » 28 Mar 2012 11:56

Q. What do you call a Face Dancer carrying a Lasgun while crossing a road?





A. Anything you want to, as long as their mission is not going to be threatened by your actions you should be OK and as long as their Master can't hear you, but you should be alright again as they're unlikely to be monitoring the Dancer's actions in real-time to update them. Probably. The only real answer here is to discover any latent prescient abilities your bloodline may have, enter Spice Trance and see how it plays out while of-course being mindful of the muddying affects of the Dune Tarot and others being who may even a we speak be pondering the outcome of the joke.
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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby DuneFishUK » 28 Mar 2012 15:40

inhuien wrote:Does the humour have to be 100% consistent with the published canon? Tough crowd RM Lani. :lol: :lol:

In-universe jokes don't :)

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Re: Jokes of the Imperium

Postby Freakzilla » 28 Mar 2012 16:12

DuneFishUK wrote:
inhuien wrote:Does the humour have to be 100% consistent with the published canon? Tough crowd RM Lani. :lol: :lol:

In-universe jokes don't :)


For me, they do. :snooty:
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Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman


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