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Man Eaten By Dragon! (Ronnie James Dio Passes At Age 67)
Posted: 18 May 2010 14:01
by Eru
On May 16th, Heavy Metal Icon/Dragon Slayer Ronnie James Dio passed away at age 67. Although official sources report the cause to be stomach cancer, of which he was diagnosed around November of last year, I prefer a different scenario:
Dio Died Battling A Dragon!
For those of you without FB, here's the description from the page:
As everyone knows, Dio has died of stomach cancer... Or at least that's what the media says! The truth is, Dio died while battling a dragon! He was trying his hardest to save the human race from this monstrous beast dragon that was trying to attack us! Now, with Dio, our fallen hero being destroyed by this diabolical dragon, we the people of Earth are completely screwed.
THIS GROUP IS TO COMMEMORATE OUR HERO DIO FOR HOW HE REALLY DIED -- SAVING US FROM THIS DRAGON OF COMPLETE EVIL AND BEING A HERO FOR US ALL. And also, stomach cancer is SO not a metal way to die. You know for Dio to finally die at the age of 67, it had to be something EPIC.
R.I.P. Dio, we love you.
Other explanations:
stomach dragons are a leading cause of Heavy Metal icons. If only he had been diagnosed sooner a quest could have been mounted for the rare ingredients that could have been brewed into the potion tat would have saved him. Alas, now he's stuck with a cushy job in one of the outer circles of hell. Anybody know Improved Reincarnation?
I've also heard that his physical body could no longer handle the shear amount of metal. Two devil horned hands were simply not enough...
I refuse to believe a dragon could be capable of destroying Dio; I believe he accidentally turned the horns upon himself in a moment of existential carelessness, or perhaps flashed the horns into a mirror.
\m/ >.< \m/
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 14:08
by inhuien
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 14:26
by Eru
When I found out I was tempted to go out and get drunk, but that's not really how you celebrate the life and honor the death of someone like Dio. Randy Rhodes, perhaps. Dimebag Darrel, sure. Keith Moon? Hell, if I'd been alive when he died, I'd have drank an entire bottle of whiskey and set a hotel on fire. But Dio...I'm thinking a massive AD&D campaign. Or giant Magic: the Gathering tourney!
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 15:49
by inhuien
I didn't know about it till I read your post. I happen to be going on a week long medieval enactment summer camp early June so I'll take the 1st two and best Dio albums with me.
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 19:22
by Eru
Have you heard the stuff he did with Richie Blackmore's Rainbow? It's excellent, you can really hear the direction Dio is going in, even before Sabbath.
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 20:03
by Freakzilla
A sad day for metal.
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 18 May 2010 20:48
by TheDukester
Dio was fairly well-read, from what I can gather. Here's a tribute at The Cimmerian, a site devoted mostly to Robert E. Howard (it was written when Dio was sick but still alive):
http://goo.gl/iT6H" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 19 May 2010 03:13
by SandRider
inhuien wrote:I didn't know about it till I read your post. I happen to be going on a week long medieval enactment summer camp early June so I'll take the 1st two and best Dio albums with me.
hey, do thread about that afterwards (relevant to my interests, &etc)
(the medieval re-enactment, not the balding poision-dwarf)
Re: Man Eaten By Dragon!
Posted: 19 May 2010 04:08
by inhuien
Eru wrote:Have you heard the stuff he did with Richie Blackmore's Rainbow? It's excellent, you can really hear the direction Dio is going in, even before Sabbath.
God that takes me back, Rainbow, I've not thought of them since I was but a kid. Ya, I used to listen to them a lot.
Cheers for the memory bomb.
SandRider wrote:hey, do thread about that afterwards (relevant to my interests, &etc)
No problem, it's not a big thing really, there should be around 20 attending. The idea behind it is to allow for a period of intensive training in melee and bow weapons and the likes of myself with unarmed experience will be instructing the the others in throws, holds, bars and beer drinking.
