Dio Died Battling A Dragon!
For those of you without FB, here's the description from the page:
As everyone knows, Dio has died of stomach cancer... Or at least that's what the media says! The truth is, Dio died while battling a dragon! He was trying his hardest to save the human race from this monstrous beast dragon that was trying to attack us! Now, with Dio, our fallen hero being destroyed by this diabolical dragon, we the people of Earth are completely screwed.
THIS GROUP IS TO COMMEMORATE OUR HERO DIO FOR HOW HE REALLY DIED -- SAVING US FROM THIS DRAGON OF COMPLETE EVIL AND BEING A HERO FOR US ALL. And also, stomach cancer is SO not a metal way to die. You know for Dio to finally die at the age of 67, it had to be something EPIC.
R.I.P. Dio, we love you.
stomach dragons are a leading cause of Heavy Metal icons. If only he had been diagnosed sooner a quest could have been mounted for the rare ingredients that could have been brewed into the potion tat would have saved him. Alas, now he's stuck with a cushy job in one of the outer circles of hell. Anybody know Improved Reincarnation?
I've also heard that his physical body could no longer handle the shear amount of metal. Two devil horned hands were simply not enough...
I refuse to believe a dragon could be capable of destroying Dio; I believe he accidentally turned the horns upon himself in a moment of existential carelessness, or perhaps flashed the horns into a mirror.
\m/ >.< \m/