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Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 26 May 2010 23:20
by merkin muffley
SandChigger wrote:Wait a minute... I thought bananas were supposed to help stop you up. That's why I had three of them this morning... :?

OH MY DEAR GAWD HELP ME WHAT HAVE I DONE?! :angry-screaming:
:lol:

Just be careful not to strain. If Elvis has taught us anything...

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 27 May 2010 00:26
by SandRider
James Charwood, Science BlogFiction Writer and ED-quality loon,
is about to fake his own death on the internet, in the mis-guided belief
that this will cause me to leave him alone and not make fun of him on
teh innerwebz ....
James Charwood, Science BlogFiction Writer and ED-quality loon, in the sockpuppet of Frank Warden, high-priced influential powerful lawyer-guy and the basis for the Spader character on [i]Boston Legal[/i] wrote: * * *

Warning: Cyberstalking is a Crime
Cyberstalking is a Crime
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The current US Federal Anti-Cyber-Stalking law is found at 47 USC sec. 223
http://www.wiredsafety.org/cyberstalkin" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; ... nglaw.html

The cyberbullying vs cyberstalking
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Cyberterrorism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberterrorism" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Harassment by computer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment_by_computer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Hate group
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_group" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Defamation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamation" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Cyber Crimes Task Forces - FBI
http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/computer_intrusions.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Internet Crime Complaint Center
http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A wrongful death lawsuit may be brought against those whose cyberstalking cause the decline in health and resulting death of a targeted individual.

Frank A. Walden, Attorney
Norman, Oklahoma
Posted by Frank A. Walden at 5/26/2010 08:33:00 AM
Labels: cyberstalking, Internet crimes
You'll still be a silly bitch after you die, Jimmy ... is that the kinda legacy you wanna leave ?


seriously, one of you kids start working on the ED entry here .... when Frank tells us Jimmy is dead,
I'm gonna come all over this sietch .... (say - who's got mop-duty this week ?)

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 27 May 2010 02:29
by SandChigger
Good gawd, another white out, this late in the season? :roll:


OK, Carlos (and anyone else interested), Japanese lesson time! Two proverbs:

馬鹿につける薬はない。(Baka ni tsukeru kusuri wa nai.) "There's no cure for a fool." (Lit. "There is no medicine to put on a fool.")

and

馬鹿は死んでも直らない。(Baka wa shinde-mo naoranai.) "Not even Death cures a fool." (Lit. "A fool doesn't get better even if he dies.")

Thus endeth the lesson for today.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 27 May 2010 13:26
by merkin muffley
JAMES C. HARWOOD (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)


Happy Memorial Day

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 27 May 2010 14:20
by SandRider

CLEAN UP ON AISLE THREE !!!


:chores-mop:

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 27 May 2010 18:13
by lotek
SandChigger wrote:Good gawd, another white out, this late in the season? :roll:


OK, Carlos (and anyone else interested), Japanese lesson time! Two proverbs:

馬鹿につける薬はない。(Baka ni tsukeru kusuri wa nai.) "There's no cure for a fool." (Lit. "There is no medicine to put on a fool.")

and

馬鹿は死んでも直らない。(Baka wa shinde-mo naoranai.) "Not even Death cures a fool." (Lit. "A fool doesn't get better even if he dies.")

Thus endeth the lesson for today.
i'm learning those by heart to show off at work(i do work for a japanese company)

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 01:05
by SandRider
ATTENTION FRANK WALDEN :

I had some questions concerning Jimmy's "death", so I emailed the last known address,
and received this response :
Mr. James C. Harwood, science fiction author, of Norman Oklahoma USA,is deceased. Before he died, he turned over to me access to all of hisInternet accounts, ownership of his novels, and administration of hisblog. I am in the process of closing all of his Internet accounts atTwitter and Facebook, while maintaining his blog and this emailaddress. Respond further if you have any questions. I am Frank A.Walden, Intellectual Properties Attorney, Norman, Oklahoma, USA. -- Frank A. Walden,Intellectual Properties Attorney,Norman, Oklahoma, USA
well, I did have some questions, so I further responded, and got this reply:
Mr. James C. Harwood, science fiction author, of Norman Oklahoma USA,is deceased. Before he died, he turned over to me access to all of hisInternet accounts, ownership of his novels, and administration of hisblog. I am in the process of closing all of his Internet accounts atTwitter and Facebook, while maintaining his blog and this emailaddress. Respond further if you have any questions. I am Frank A.Walden, Intellectual Properties Attorney, Norman, Oklahoma, USA. -- Frank A. Walden,Intellectual Properties Attorney,Norman, Oklahoma, USA
also,the last open blahg of James C. Harwood, Deceased Science BlogFiction Writer, is now closed,
even tho a posting on the date of the announcement of Jimmy's "death" said the blahg would remain
open until June 1, I'm assuming the date of the Reading of the Will ...

of course, we all know what's in the will, don't we Frankie ?
Jimmy left everything to you ....

he signed the papers in your office and ... died the very next day ...

coincidence ?
I don't care, but let's see what the Norman Police have to say ...

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 01:17
by SandRider
and the fun part is,
not even SuperLawyer Frank Walden has the juice to get the Amazon page pulled ...
http://www.amazon.com/Hereafter-Book-Mi ... 960&sr=1-1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

bet Jimmy never thought about that ... I'm sure he was proud as punch when it got put up ...

I, straight white Science Fiction Author James C. Harwood, have a book on Amazon !!

if he'd've known how to twit back then ....

now, it bites his ass ... I'm trying to contact The Tidwell to get the emails between Jimmy and
the Amazon admins; I'm sure he's begging them to remove it ... which would prove he's not
dead ... because, surely, surely Jimmy's not stupid enough to impersonate an attorney in
business-related communication to a major corporation ...

right, Jimmy ?

[off stage, Norman, Oklahoma:]
Jimmy: Oh, shit ... oh my god ... I hadn't thought ... oh no .. I ... I can't go to Federal Prison !!
sfx: hurried footsteps, crash of furniture, breaking glass, single gunshot


and ... scene ...

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 01:48
by SandChigger
lotek wrote:i'm learning those by heart to show off at work(i do work for a japanese company)
Um, I'd be really careful about who you say them to, there. ;)

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 02:08
by Hunchback Jack
Chig, did you just give a loaded gun to an infant .... again? ;)

HBJ

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 02:18
by SandChigger
I know, what can I say? I just love it when their little heads splatter all over the room. :twisted:


(Ooh. That was dark even for me, huh? :? )

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 02:28
by Hunchback Jack
For you? Hmm, maybe. For the board? Nah.

HBJ

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 09:39
by Nekhrun
SandRider wrote:
Mr. James C. Harwood, science fiction author, of Norman Oklahoma USA,is deceased. Before he died, he turned over to me access to all of hisInternet accounts, ownership of his novels, and administration of hisblog. I am in the process of closing all of his Internet accounts atTwitter and Facebook, while maintaining his blog and this emailaddress. Respond further if you have any questions. I am Frank A.Walden, Intellectual Properties Attorney, Norman, Oklahoma, USA. -- Frank A. Walden,Intellectual Properties Attorney,Norman, Oklahoma, USA
also,the last open blahg of James C. Harwood, Deceased Science BlogFiction Writer, is now closed,
even tho a posting on the date of the announcement of Jimmy's "death" said the blahg would remain
open until June 1, I'm assuming the date of the Reading of the Will ...

of course, we all know what's in the will, don't we Frankie ?
Jimmy left everything to you ....

he signed the papers in your office and ... died the very next day ...

coincidence ?
I don't care, but let's see what the Norman Police have to say ...
What is going on here? Are you saying that he really is dead, or that he might have actually faked his own death? Isn't that a crime? Especially if people try to obtain copies of his book at inflated prices. I would think that this is the sort of thing someone might do time for. I can't believe that he would lie to the world like this. Has anyone informed the Church of Scientology yet (could they have had something to do with this), or his Facebook friends?

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:02
by merkin muffley
Nekhrun wrote:What is going on here? Are you saying that he really is dead, or that he might have actually faked his own death? Isn't that a crime?

Yeah, I think it is highly illegal to actually fake your death, and this definitely wouldn't be the way to do it. It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen, but I'm relatively inexperienced with the internet. The whole scenario is ludicrous. I'm perfectly willing to eat it if it's true because it can't be. So, keep up the good work, Sandrider, I can't wait to see what happens next. If Harwood has any brains at all, he's writing his second novel, A Milder Case of Death: The Blog of Frank Walden.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:42
by SandRider
A witness has come forward to confirm my suspicion that
Frank Walden, Internet Attorney Copyright Specialist,
has murdered James C. Harwood, Internet Science Fiction Author,
after securing the rights to Mr. Harwood's intellectual property,
namely one BlogNovel, fourteen Blogspot Blogs, four Facebook identities,
and twenty-seven Twitter accounts ....

Mr. Walden has also taken possession of Mr. Harwood's personal computers,
one new and one damaged in a cyber-terrorist attack funded by Muslim Extremists,
and I have good reason to believe that Mr. Walden has also taken up residence
in the former Mr. Harwood's apartment (rent was paid thru May) ....

I have sent all this information to the Norman, Oklahoma Police Department,
and the FBI regional office in OKC ...

(and I'm not kidding ... you people know me well enough ... and not some email bullshit from
a bogus gmail account, either, on paper, USPS, with my real name - a suspicious death has
apparently occurred, and I am in possession of information not necessarily available to local
authorities ... I believe it is my civic and legal duty to assist the police in this matter ...)

(and right now, I'm searching for an email address for the obituary section of the local paper -
I'm concerned they have not yet run the announcement of one of Norman's leading citizens ...)

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:46
by lotek
SandChigger wrote:
lotek wrote:i'm learning those by heart to show off at work(i do work for a japanese company)
Um, I'd be really careful about who you say them to, there. ;)
just the fact they come from you probably makes them nsfw :)
Hunchback Jack wrote:Chig, did you just give a loaded gun to an infant .... again? ;)

HBJ
well even if I am still a child at heart I am quite far from being an infant ;)
(even though in my mid thirties I was still asked for ID when trying to get in a London famous club lol)

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:48
by lotek
SandRider wrote:A witness has come forward to confirm my suspicion that
Frank Walden, Internet Attorney Copyright Specialist,
[...]
I'm concerned they have not yet run the announcement of one of Norman's leading citizens ...)
sandrider, scourge of the internet phonies!

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:56
by TheDukester
Yeah, I think our friend from Oklahoma riled up the wrong rattlesnake-killer. Sandrider seems particularly ... focused ... on this mission. :lol:

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 10:57
by Nekhrun
I'm glad you are on top of this Sandrider. I was worried that no one was contacting the papers or police about this latest round of domestic terrorism.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 12:09
by Omphalos
SandRider wrote:A witness has come forward to confirm my suspicion that
Frank Walden, Internet Attorney Copyright Specialist,
has murdered James C. Harwood, Internet Science Fiction Author,
after securing the rights to Mr. Harwood's intellectual property,
namely one BlogNovel, fourteen Blogspot Blogs, four Facebook identities,
and twenty-seven Twitter accounts ....

Mr. Walden has also taken possession of Mr. Harwood's personal computers,
one new and one damaged in a cyber-terrorist attack funded by Muslim Extremists,
and I have good reason to believe that Mr. Walden has also taken up residence
in the former Mr. Harwood's apartment (rent was paid thru May) ....

I have sent all this information to the Norman, Oklahoma Police Department,
and the FBI regional office in OKC ...

(and I'm not kidding ... you people know me well enough ... and not some email bullshit from
a bogus gmail account, either, on paper, USPS, with my real name - a suspicious death has
apparently occurred, and I am in possession of information not necessarily available to local
authorities ... I believe it is my civic and legal duty to assist the police in this matter ...)

(and right now, I'm searching for an email address for the obituary section of the local paper -
I'm concerned they have not yet run the announcement of one of Norman's leading citizens ...)
Even all of that above is magnificently officious, you forgot to mention that you were straight.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 14:09
by Hunchback Jack
Nekhrun wrote:What is going on here? Are you saying that he really is dead, or that he might have actually faked his own death? Isn't that a crime?
Only if "James C. Harwood" existed in the first place. If he was a "persona", or a nom de plume, then "Frank" is just playing games.
lotek wrote:
Hunchback Jack wrote:Chig, did you just give a loaded gun to an infant .... again? ;)

HBJ
well even if I am still a child at heart I am quite far from being an infant ;)
Sorry, Lotek, meant no disrespect. I'll choose the metaphor more carefully next time.

:)

HBJ

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 14:35
by merkin muffley
Hunchback Jack wrote: Only if "James C. Harwood" existed in the first place. If he was a "persona", or a nom de plume, then "Frank" is just playing games.
That would be an intriguing twist. I wouldn't have thought that a guy who writes that he's "Single, no children, has not ruled out marriage to the right woman" on Amazon would be deep enough to create an entire persona like that ("usually blue jeans casual," Science Fiction Party Facebook page, Moderate Centrist Independent political affiliation, cheesecake links, Spritualist doesn't believe in either the Bible OR Evolution).

If that is what he's done, and his name is Frank Walden, I will applaud him, and I will ask him why the hell he didn't put that kind of effort into the characters in his book.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 14:46
by Hunchback Jack
merkin muffley wrote:That would be an intriguing twist. I wouldn't have thought that a guy who writes that he's "Single, no children, has not ruled out marriage to the right woman" on Amazon would be deep enough to create an entire persona like that
Well, I'm just speculating. He seemed to be his own cousin for a while there, so he was no stranger to assuming identities. Maybe we were just assuming that Harwood was the "real" one.

Edited to add: I'm not saying he was necessarily being clever about it. He may have had ... er ... issues.

HBJ

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 15:18
by merkin muffley
Hunchback Jack wrote:I'm not saying he was necessarily being clever about it. He may have had ... er ... issues.
Oh, I know. It would be interesting, though.

Re: Torchedwood: The Series

Posted: 28 May 2010 16:32
by Nekhrun
It's a hell of a lot more plausible than there being an actual James Harwood who really acts like that and says those kinds of things to describe himself in an author bio.