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Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 22 May 2009 23:15
by Omphalos
Thou paunchy crook-pated harpies!
You! Denizen of the underrealm of Tejas! Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet stoop to combat upon this hallowed field?
And you, chitinous mite of the iterwebs! Hailing from a land so strange that but the vile Dutch call'd it Secondhome. Your face is as a book, where men may read strange matters! Thou hast neither heat, affection, limb, nor beauty To make thy riches pleasant, and think naught that the age of your death is but a mast on the horizon, oh aged and spurn'd harker to the ungrateful!
Hence, horrible villains, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; Would that I unhair thy heads had you each still the weeds of youth 'pon them! Thou shalt both be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 00:11
by GamePlayer
mmmm, pickles
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 00:24
by Eyes High
And thus the Omph hath spoken
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 05:43
by Nebiros
Very interesting. Perhaps you guys can make refrences to Kevin and arnoloco.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 11:10
by Ampoliros
Hear a Muse, KJA!
Listen upon thy hacked hikes
There is the wind, it calls thee!
There is the lark, it mocks thee!
There is the stone upon which you tread
It threatens to smother thee
to fall upon thy thin-screened crown
and dash and drown thy poor ideas upon its enemy earth.
I speak these words beneath the sky
so that they may fall as rain against the ground,
upon my Herbertian Brethren: "remember thy true fiend!"
task not thy own ally, nor jihad;
crusade not against thy brother when the thief is in the Hen's House.
It is that thief, quick of virility, short of manhood, lacking still in wit.
It is that clever thief that wants for praise for frankly thieved writ
It is that thief, that soiled soul, who sports our sole displeasure.
Oh ruined penguin, ye plump flightless bird!
Ye mockery of nature's brush, upon a throne of dust and sand
That would king thyself a cock!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 13:34
by SandRider
Omphalos wrote:Thou paunchy crook-pated harpies!
You! Denizen of the underrealm of Tejas! Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet stoop to combat upon this hallowed field?
And you, chitinous mite of the iterwebs! Hailing from a land so strange that but the vile Dutch call'd it Secondhome. Your face is as a book, where men may read strange matters! Thou hast neither heat, affection, limb, nor beauty To make thy riches pleasant, and think naught that the age of your death is but a mast on the horizon, oh aged and spurn'd harker to the ungrateful!
Hence, horrible villains, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; Would that I unhair thy heads had you each still the weeds of youth 'pon them! Thou shalt both be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.
dammit, Chig - we done just had our
asses handed to us ....
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 13:45
by SandRider
Ahh, and thou, Foul Grunting Giant,
Straining upon thy throne to force from thy mind
Some small semblance of lucid prose for less amusement ....
Stomping across the earth in thy insanity and rage,
Thou art a Large Fisted Buffoon, fit only for bear-baiting,
and thou the Bear ....
{The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.}
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 17:16
by Omphalos
Speaketh not of my body, roughneck codger! My dung be bigger than thou!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 23 May 2009 21:30
by SandChigger
Verily, Dumbledore, the Shyster speaketh sooth for once!
Yea, and the stench of his stool is such as doth make the reek
Of thy misshapen, much abusèd member seem as the aroma
Of roses!
But task not the Haggard overmuch, O Prevaricator by
Profession, for he is of the simple sort and altogether unused
To intercourse with anyone of Wit. Indeed, that which is most
Complex about him will strike thee ... in thy nose.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 24 May 2009 13:06
by inhuien
SandChigger wrote:Yea, and the stench of his stool is such as doth make the reek
Of thy misshapen, much abusèd member seem as the aroma
Of roses!
I'm gonna get that tattooed of my fucking forehead!!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 24 May 2009 16:00
by SandChigger
Liked that one, did ya?
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 25 May 2009 04:10
by inhuien
Verily!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 25 May 2009 13:22
by Robspierre
Thou paunchy tickle-brained bag of guts! Accursed fool-born barnacle! Thou mite's scorn of thine's muse is devilry of the most base form! Thou surly earth-vexing hypocrite!
Rob
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 25 May 2009 21:00
by SandChigger
Ho ho! What is this? The hasty-witted laddy grown a man
And come to smite the miscreant bunny-bug?! Well then,
Boy, gird up thy moldwarp loins! (Yea, those minor parts
Of thee wont most oft to flutter free, bereft of the bonds
Of pantaloon.) And lay on!
A creature of land (and landed, too!), I have no truck
Like thee with beslubbering barnacles. And never was any Muse
By this coney scorned! For those nine Goddesses have bosoms fair
And full, unlike thy beauteous boy-chested Belovèd.
Hypocrite, sirrah? In deed nor word, not so!
But get thee hence, lad, and fly to Kohl's posthaste! Run
For all thy reeling-ripe self is worth! For on this blessèd day
They make a sale: forty percent off on skirts!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 26 May 2009 04:19
by inhuien
SandChigger wrote:For on this blessèd day
They make a sale: forty percent off on skirts!
Kilt,
KILT,
KILT KKKKILT!!
And here's a mini-kilt for you're jollies.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 26 May 2009 06:02
by SandChigger
A rose by any other name
I have no doubt
Would smell the same,
Sweet aroma
Sprung from dirt.
Though all say kilt
'Tis still a skirt.
"Ou moy, yes indeed. And didja see wot himself was werrin'? A bleedin' mini manskirt it was!"
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 02 Jul 2010 21:53
by Freakzilla
Check these kilts out:
http://www.tiltedkilt.com/index.php?itemid=21" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 02 Jul 2010 22:22
by Robspierre
The Tilted Kilt, Hooters for a better class of customer
Rob
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 02 Jul 2010 22:38
by SandChigger
I'd forgotten how much fun this thread was!
Ooh, boobs!
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 02 Jul 2010 22:48
by Robspierre
SandChigger wrote:I'd forgotten how much fun this thread was!
Ooh, boobs!
Click on the 2009 calendar, even better than 2010
Rob
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 02 Jul 2010 22:59
by Freakzilla
I was unaware of this place until I looked at some photos of a chick who works there who's a friend of a friend on FB. Looks like a place I'd get into trouble at. I'm going to have to check it out. There's three in the Atlanta area.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 06 Jul 2010 01:17
by Omphalos
Never heard of this. Nice conglomeration of tits.
BTW. how did this thread get forgotten? I liked reading this one.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 06 Jul 2010 01:42
by SandChigger
I read back through the whole thing the other day and had tears in my eyes by the end, I was laughing so hard.
It's good when you can amuse yourself.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 06 Jul 2010 02:55
by Serkanner
I nominate this topic for topic of the year. Humour at its best.
Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villain ....
Posted: 06 Jul 2010 16:44
by Robspierre
I fart in your general direction!
Rob