Since John Madden announced today that he is retiring from Monday Night Football, we thought it would be a good idea to look back at some of his most famous quotes (none of which are about divorce) about the sport. But as we did, we realized something - a lot of his quotes about football also happen to be great advice about sex. Here are 10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Great Sex Advice.
10. "When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to."
9. "Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon."
8. "Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble."
7. "They got to Joey Harrington physically and they got to him mentally."
6. "I think comparisons are odious."
5. "A team should never practice on a field that's not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field's boundaries."
4. "There is an absurdity in it, particularly in the relationship between the siblings."
3. "The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break."
2. "It's a big blow to the team. At the same time, it allows other people to step up, take on new roles."
1. "The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer."
