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    Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

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    Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby De Vries » 28 Apr 2010 19:11

    Hello, I just saw this amazing forum and wanted to congratulate you fellow humans on surviving the Gom Jabbar that is otherwise known as the books written by Kevin J. Anderson. It seems to me those atrocious wastes of perfectly good paper were specifically written by KJA to give me a major stroke, it must all be some elaborate plot to assasinate me...

    Anyone who thinks that the word "Dune" should even be printed on the cover of those cheesy books should be rendered down for their water...

    And Brian Herbert has obviously been replaced be a dirty Tleilaxu face dancer, why else would he allow the defilement of his fathers masterpiece? Makes me never want to have kids...

    When you read the original books they are full of intriguing tangents that explore the nature of reality, time, human dynamics and race conciousness, as well as politics and ecology. There was a definite magic to Frank Herberts stories and I have never been so engrossed in any other novel. However when reading KJA's cheap knock offs you realize that there is no mental exercise required, they only explain in drudging detail the physical events that take place, and even that is done poorly, all the characters seem like they belong in some saturday morning cartoon for children, where is the thought provoking prose you may ask yourself? I know! its in the trash so they can cram more explosions and cheesy science fiction cliches into the books, so they can reach a broader audience of mentally handicapped tweens...

    Anyway, I hope I have finally found some like minded people that are filled with as much venom and spite as myself...
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Omphalos » 28 Apr 2010 19:23

    BH isn't a face dancer. BH:FH::Alia:Empire.

    IOW, A crazy kid who fucks everything up because of listening to whisperings from a demon.

    Welcome, BTW!!
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Nekhrun » 28 Apr 2010 19:36

    hi
    "If he was here to discuss Dune, he sure as hell picked a dumb way to do it." -Omphalos :character-cookiemonster:

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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby De Vries » 28 Apr 2010 19:45

    Point taken, Brian Herbert has obviously had his conciousness replaced by that of a malevolent ancestors genetic memory and is now in the process of tearing down the empire his father built...

    O and thanks for the welcome!

    ( Hello! )
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Ampoliros » 28 Apr 2010 20:18

    KJA doesn't want to kill you, he wants to deprogram you and reprogram you with a health dose of American Mediocrity. Frank Herbert is the antidote.
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Freakzilla » 28 Apr 2010 20:43

    De Vries wrote:Hello, I just saw this amazing forum...


    Welcome, how did you find us?

    Anyway, I hope I have finally found some like minded people that are filled with as much venom and spite as myself...


    You have.
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby SandChigger » 28 Apr 2010 22:27

    Achlan wasachlan. :)
    I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

    I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

    I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby SandRider » 29 Apr 2010 00:15


    Welcome. Your Water is Ours.





    I hope I have finally found some like minded people that are filled with as much venom and spite as myself


    probably more .... I think I posted this afternoon about tehKJA's fat wife being grudge-fucked by
    a drunken Brian Herbert and paid-off in plastic jewelry & doughnuts ... and it's been atleast a week
    since I told Merritt of Corporate Dune he was a hopeless pussy .... and Keith is trying to kill you,
    but like everything else, he's ineffectual and a weak fail ....
    ................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Hunchback Jack » 29 Apr 2010 01:00

    Welcome! Sounds like you'll fit right in.

    SandRider wrote:I think I posted this afternoon about tehKJA's fat wife being grudge-fucked by
    a drunken Brian Herbert and paid-off in plastic jewelry & doughnuts


    Truth - no exaggeration. And it didn't seem particularly outrageous at the time.

    :shock:

    HBJ
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby SandChigger » 29 Apr 2010 04:17

    One might opine that outside of soapy squeegee time, grudge fucks are the only action some people see.

    If one were so inclined, that is. :whistle:
    I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

    I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

    I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby lotek » 29 Apr 2010 04:30

    SandRider wrote:I think I posted this afternoon about tehKJA's fat wife being grudge-fucked by
    a drunken Brian Herbert and paid-off in plastic jewelry & doughnuts ...


    how did I miss that?!

    oh and Welcome Twice Welcome, even though you're a twisted Mentat it cannot be worse than a twisted literary heritage...
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby inhuien » 29 Apr 2010 05:20

    hihihi De Vries :)
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Serkanner » 29 Apr 2010 05:58

    Welcome Home!
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    “There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”

    Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
    and wrote a Dune Novel."
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Bijaz » 29 Apr 2010 08:19

    :sci-fi-robot:
    They may take yairrrr Frreedom, but they ken nivverrrr take yairrrr Duuuunnne!
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Tleszer » 29 Apr 2010 09:09

    Welcome! :orcs-buttshake:

    I don't believe we survived the gom jabbar unscathed. Some of us are a little... odd... :shifty:
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby SandChigger » 29 Apr 2010 10:34

    ^^^ Speaks for himself. :P
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Eyes High » 29 Apr 2010 10:54

    Tleszer wrote:Welcome! :orcs-buttshake:

    I don't believe we survived the gom jabbar unscathed. Some of us are a little... odd... :shifty:



    A LITTLE ?

    Odd but lovable. :mrgreen: Oh and welcome on board mate. You have found the group of guys and gals who know their Dune. The real Dune that is.

    Enjoy your stay. Oh becareful some might bite. ;)
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby Freakzilla » 29 Apr 2010 11:07

    Just keep your hands and feet away from their mouths and you'll be alright. And try not to make sudden movements.

    :wink:
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby A Thing of Eternity » 29 Apr 2010 12:01

    Welcome, did you happen past the rotting corpse of the official dune forum to find us?
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby DuneFishUK » 29 Apr 2010 13:30

    Welcome :)
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby trang » 29 Apr 2010 16:30

    Well Met and Welcome! Grab a spice beer and join in!!

    I was going to put this in a separate thread, but since you mentioned the ill witted duo that are destroying the legacy, might as well go ahead. The forward pretty much says it all:

    Heretics of Dune
    Frank Herbert
    April 1984

    When I was writing Dune
    . . . there was no room in my mind for concerns about the book's success or
    failure. I was concerned only with the writing
    .

    Six years of research had
    preceded the day I sat down to put the story together, and the interweaving of
    the many plot layers I had planned required a degree of concentration I had
    never before experienced.

    It was to be a story exploring the myth of the Messiah.
    It was to produce another view of a human-occupied planet as an energy machine.
    It was to penetrate the interlocked workings of politics and economics.
    It was to be an examination of absolute prediction and its pitfalls.
    It was to have an awareness drug in it and tell what could happen through
    dependence on such a substance.
    Potable water was to be an analog for oil and for water itself, a substance
    whose supply diminishes each day.
    It was to be an ecological novel, then, with many overtones, as well as a story
    about people and their human concerns with human values, and I had to monitor
    each of these levels at every stage in the book.

    There wasn't room in my head to think about much else.

    Following the first publication, reports from the publishers were slow and, as
    it turned out, inaccurate. The critics had panned it. More than twelve
    publishers had turned it down before publication. There was no advertising.
    Something was happening out there, though.

    For two years, I was swamped with bookstore and reader complaints that they
    could not get the book. The Whole Earth Catalog praised it. I kept getting
    these telephone calls from people asking me if I were starting a cult.
    The answer: "God no!"


    What I'm describing is the slow realization of success. By the time the first
    three Dune books were completed, there was little doubt that this was a popular
    work -- one of the most popular in history, I am told, with some ten million
    copies sold worldwide.


    Now the most common question people ask is: "What does
    this success mean to you?"


    It surprises me. I didn't expect failure either. It was a work and I did it.
    Parts of Dune Messiah and Children of Dune were written before Dune was
    completed. They fleshed out more in the writing, but the essential story
    remained intact. I was a writer and I was writing. The success meant I could
    spend more time writing.

    Looking back on it, I realize I did the right thing instinctively. You don't
    write for success. That takes part of your attention away from the writing. If
    you're really doing it, that's all you're doing: writing.


    **BH and the Jacket if you on the off chance are reading this***

    There's an unwritten compact between you and the reader. If someone enters a
    bookstore and sets down hard earned money (energy) for your book, you owe that
    person some entertainment and as much more as you can give.
    That was really my intention all along.


    Frank Herbert
    "Long Live the Fighters", "Dragon.....the other white meat."

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    But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.."
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby merkin muffley » 29 Apr 2010 23:00

    Hello, De Vries.

    De Vries wrote:I hope I have finally found some like minded people that are filled with as much venom and spite as myself...


    Yes. I've got nothing but contempt for shite like this, from Paul of Dune...

    "We’ve streamlined the story for mass consumption, just as when you wrote that I was born on Caladan and not Kaitain. It sounds better that way, doesn’t it? We eliminated unnecessary complications, cut off unnecessary questions and explanations."
    She could not hide her frustration. "Sometimes the truth is complicated."
    "Yes, it is."
    "But if I tell a part of the story that directly contradicts what has been published before-"
    "If you write it, they will believe it. Trust me."

    Oh, so just change everything and use the same names? Make the characters unrecognizable and actually go against all the best ideas in the original books. And make it so cheesy it's embarrassing. Piss all over it, and then tell the fans it's their problem for not accepting the explanation. And make sure the thing that justifies all of this is just lame exposition, and isn't interesting in any way.

    So yeah, plenty of spite and venom. How else are we supposed to react to stuff like that?
    "I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor...."
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    Re: Hello! KJA is trying to kill me...

    Postby SandChigger » 30 Apr 2010 01:08

    That last line is really KJA talking.

    "If I write it, the REAL fans will buy it and not ask questions."

    :roll:
    I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

    I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

    I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA
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