Holey Shite

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    Abandon all sanity ye who enter here

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Mr. Teg
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Holey Shite

Postby Mr. Teg » 27 Feb 2013 16:00

Next month...

Hellhole Awakening
by Dumb & Dumber

"...the fleet is so huge it is slowed down by bureaucracy..."

really?

"what shall we do general?"
After hours of battle strategy sessions with his top men....
"I think we need...a..."trap"..."
"A trap? Great idea general! I know you can do it"

You can read the exerpt on Tor's (Rot) site. The above is literally the actual dialogue.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Nekhrun » 27 Feb 2013 19:56

Mr. Teg wrote:Next month...

Hellhole Awakening
by Dumb & Dumber

"...the fleet is so huge it is slowed down by bureaucracy..."

really?

"what shall we do general?"
After hours of battle strategy sessions with his top men....
"I think we need...a..."trap"..."
"A trap? Great idea general! I know you can do it"

You can read the exerpt on Tor's (Rot) site. The above is literally the actual dialogue.

That's pretty damn awful. I wonder what a "trap" is. Scratch that, I don't really care, I'm sure it's terrible. It's probably something like befriending the son of his enemy and making him think that they have the same goals until everything is completely fucked.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Naïve mind » 28 Feb 2013 01:53

I particularly enjoy the masterful use of exposition in the excerpt.

“We can hope she’s too old to learn any new lessons,” Sophie said, her voice laced with equal parts bitterness and sarcasm. She had been both his sounding board and lover for years. With gray eyes and wavy dark hair, she was beautiful without relying on elaborate makeup, hairstyles, jewels, or fashions. Although she owned a house in the heart of Michella Town, she spent most of her time with him at Elba these days. Not only was it practical to have her here at his headquarters when they had war planning to do, but she also made the place feel more like a home.


“I suggest we blow the stringline substations, cut ourselves off from the Crown Jewels, and just be done with it. It’s the only way to be sure.”

“That remains a final option.” Adolphus frowned. “But it’s a desperate one, and very costly to reverse.”

“If we cut all the stringlines,” Sophie said, “it’ll take years to reconnect, and possibly more iperion than we have.”


I've marked the exposition in both paragraphs in bold.

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Re: Holey Shite

Postby inhuien » 28 Feb 2013 04:21

Where can I get me some iperion?
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Naïve mind » 28 Feb 2013 06:34

Any thoughts as to why the hero character is named 'Adolphus'? I'm certainly not inclined to accuse KJA of Nazi symphaties, but you don't choose a name like that without giving it some thought. Perhaps it's supposed to telegraph something?

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Re: Holey Shite

Postby inhuien » 28 Feb 2013 07:14

I think it's was the first thing that came to his mind. Don't expended time looking for subtleties in his work.
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lotek
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby lotek » 28 Feb 2013 07:20

They do like to Mengele...

"what shall we do general?"
After hours of battle strategy sessions with his top men....
"I think we need...a..."trap"..."
"A trap? Great idea general! I know you can do it"


Really??? A general, a trap ???

Image

She had been both his sounding board and lover for years.


Oh, the pounding...

“I suggest we blow the stringline substations, cut ourselves off from the Crown Jewels,


Sounds nasty.

And

"...the fleet is so huge it is slowed down by bureaucracy..."


Where's the BuSab when you need it huh?
Oh hold on, they got the concept the other way round... Just when nicking ideas would have been a good... idea.

Hey well, hellhole to y'all!
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby lotek » 28 Feb 2013 09:33

inhuien wrote:Where can I get me some iperion?


Probably on Hyperion.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby inhuien » 28 Feb 2013 11:41

Aye! Big nasty spiky man thing, I must re-read them.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Mr. Teg » 28 Feb 2013 19:09

Naïve mind wrote:Any thoughts as to why the hero character is named 'Adolphus'? I'm certainly not inclined to accuse KJA of Nazi symphaties, but you don't choose a name like that without giving it some thought. Perhaps it's supposed to telegraph something?



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Re: Holey Shite

Postby lotek » 01 Mar 2013 06:51

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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Ampoliros » 01 Mar 2013 12:32

Blowing up the stringline stations is like:

Building your own subway system under NYC that goes to all of the same stops, then blowing up all of the old tunnels.

Only you also have to take into account that in this universe, subway cars run on ultra-rare spi...er iperion and you live on a planet that supposedly has to fight to scrap out a living.

Traps would be very easy, in fact, traps would be the primary method of defense, imagine warfare in a universe where the only method of travel made you arrive at a specific location, like a train station. Point all your guns at the train station and mine the tracks.

Heck you can just create sub-tracks that go off IFF and just dump hostiles into the sun.

It is sad that I now rate as one of the Hellhole Universe's greatest military minds ever. And I wrote this after sleeping in on my day off sitting half naked in front of the computer, after checking my favorite websites before I search for some porn.

Now that image, its in your head. THAT is a trap. Enjoy.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Jabecca » 02 Mar 2013 02:00

Ampoliros wrote:
It is sad that I now rate as one of the Hellhole Universe's greatest military minds ever. And I wrote this after sleeping in on my day off sitting half naked in front of the computer, after checking my favorite websites before I search for some porn.

Now that image, its in your head. THAT is a trap. Enjoy.


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Re: Holey Shite

Postby SandRider » 02 Mar 2013 02:44

Mandy?

is it you, after All This Time?
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby leagued » 04 Mar 2013 00:34

Ampoliros wrote:Blowing up the stringline stations is like:

Building your own subway system under NYC that goes to all of the same stops, then blowing up all of the old tunnels.

Only you also have to take into account that in this universe, subway cars run on ultra-rare spi...er iperion and you live on a planet that supposedly has to fight to scrap out a living.

Traps would be very easy, in fact, traps would be the primary method of defense, imagine warfare in a universe where the only method of travel made you arrive at a specific location, like a train station. Point all your guns at the train station and mine the tracks.

Heck you can just create sub-tracks that go off IFF and just dump hostiles into the sun.

It is sad that I now rate as one of the Hellhole Universe's greatest military minds ever. And I wrote this after sleeping in on my day off sitting half naked in front of the computer, after checking my favorite websites before I search for some porn.

Now that image, its in your head. THAT is a trap. Enjoy.


I find this to be an interesting concept for space-travel/plot-device. Has it been used by any good writers? It sounds vaguely like what I remember of Hyperion-cantos space travel.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Hunchback Jack » 04 Mar 2013 01:22

Hyperion had teleport gate thingys, didn't it? Farcasters or some such? I don't remember what it used for FTL travel for ships, but I seem to remember the phrase "time debt", which makes me think maybe there wasn't FTL?

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Re: Holey Shite

Postby lotek » 04 Mar 2013 05:32

leagued wrote:
Ampoliros wrote:Blowing up the stringline stations is like:

Building your own subway system under NYC that goes to all of the same stops, then blowing up all of the old tunnels.

Only you also have to take into account that in this universe, subway cars run on ultra-rare spi...er iperion and you live on a planet that supposedly has to fight to scrap out a living.

Traps would be very easy, in fact, traps would be the primary method of defense, imagine warfare in a universe where the only method of travel made you arrive at a specific location, like a train station. Point all your guns at the train station and mine the tracks.

Heck you can just create sub-tracks that go off IFF and just dump hostiles into the sun.

It is sad that I now rate as one of the Hellhole Universe's greatest military minds ever. And I wrote this after sleeping in on my day off sitting half naked in front of the computer, after checking my favorite websites before I search for some porn.

Now that image, its in your head. THAT is a trap. Enjoy.


I find this to be an interesting concept for space-travel/plot-device. Has it been used by any good writers? It sounds vaguely like what I remember of Hyperion-cantos space travel.



Stargate ^^

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Re: Holey Shite

Postby Serkanner » 04 Mar 2013 07:26

Peter Hamilton has used a combination between stargates and railroads: Commonwealth Saga
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby lotek » 04 Mar 2013 07:58

Yeah but the hack edits while watching dvds, he don't do books, especially if they're good.
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby cmsahe » 07 Apr 2013 18:07

Naïve mind wrote:Any thoughts as to why the hero character is named 'Adolphus'? I'm certainly not inclined to accuse KJA of Nazi symphaties, but you don't choose a name like that without giving it some thought. Perhaps it's supposed to telegraph something?


After taking a vacation in Mexico, where a lot of guys are named: Pancho, Pepe y Adolfo, he chose the the last one. saludos compadre :)
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Re: Holey Shite

Postby cmsahe » 07 Apr 2013 18:13

leagued wrote:
Ampoliros wrote:Blowing up the stringline stations is like:

Building your own subway system under NYC that goes to all of the same stops, then blowing up all of the old tunnels.

Only you also have to take into account that in this universe, subway cars run on ultra-rare spi...er iperion and you live on a planet that supposedly has to fight to scrap out a living.

Traps would be very easy, in fact, traps would be the primary method of defense, imagine warfare in a universe where the only method of travel made you arrive at a specific location, like a train station. Point all your guns at the train station and mine the tracks.

Heck you can just create sub-tracks that go off IFF and just dump hostiles into the sun.

It is sad that I now rate as one of the Hellhole Universe's greatest military minds ever. And I wrote this after sleeping in on my day off sitting half naked in front of the computer, after checking my favorite websites before I search for some porn.

Now that image, its in your head. THAT is a trap. Enjoy.


I find this to be an interesting concept for space-travel/plot-device. Has it been used by any good writers? It sounds vaguely like what I remember of Hyperion-cantos space travel.


the concept of train stations and wormholes was used by that british writer Hamilton in his Commonwealth saga.
Only the books written by Frank Herbert are canon.


Who We Are and What We Stand For
http://www.jacurutu.com/viewtopic.php?p=79778#p79778
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