Amp's SoD Notes

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandChigger » 19 Jan 2012 07:35

I'm finding zero motivation to even pick the thing up again and riffle the pages. Haven't even done the customary sticking on of micro-chapter marking PostIts. (Did KJA reveal how many "chapters" are in this piece of shit?)

Here's a spoiler; something I was mulling over during my foray to Lowe's yesterday afternoon...

The Bene Gesserit determine, from their secret computers' combination of Emperor Salvador's genetics with ALL the (sociologically?) possible mates, that in just a couple of generations his line will create the greatest tyrant (you should perk up at that mention) in human history; his brother Roderick (or was that just Life of Brian? :think: ) does not share the same defect, so they decide to have Sal's Suk administer a drug (topical? testicular massage?) that will secretly sterilize him.

What's bothering me is, could even FH's BG, thousands of years later, have made such a prediction based solely on genetics?

Sure, they later predict and strive to create the Kwisatz Haderach... but the KH's mental abilities are based in physical characteristics. (And therefore amenable to genetic manipulation.) But something like being a tyrant? Necessarily? Unavoidably?

I don't know, it just seems like another misunderstanding/misapplication of the plausible and the fantastic (meaning fantasy-silly).

It's going on two weeks since the signings now. I can't even find the umph to blog or Tweet about it....
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby lotek » 19 Jan 2012 07:42

And now, the Prophecy !
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandChigger » 19 Jan 2012 07:44

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

And now the Bug bites the Anglo-Frenchy. :twisted:


:lol:

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Freakzilla » 19 Jan 2012 11:23

Of course they couldn't.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Ampoliros » 19 Jan 2012 20:51

I'm having trouble too. Its just so fucking boring, and retarded at the same time, and not on the entertaining-retarded level of the previous ones.

I don't see how any of this is supposed to end up with the formation of the Dune universe in any logical sense. The way they have it, Venport has no reason to let go of any of his power, and he's blocking the formation of too many things. No way in hell I see him voluntarily creating CHOAM or the Guild, or even letting them become separate entities. And yet, he's set up pretty much as a protagonist. The Vorian story was just pure jerking off of KJA.




That and a recent social interaction has caused me to pick up and start reading Lolita. Women should have their age tattooed on their face...

Lolita however is a damn good book. (And no, this...girl-woman wasn't that young. Just close enough. No Jail time for Amp.)
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Robspierre » 19 Jan 2012 21:14

Amp, I have the audiobook read by Jeremy Irons.....bloody guid read :text-bravo:

Rob

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Ampoliros » 20 Jan 2012 00:16

Robspierre wrote:Amp, I have the audiobook read by Jeremy Irons.....bloody guid read :text-bravo:

Rob



:shock:

Oh, you mean Lolita, lol I'll have to check it out.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandChigger » 20 Jan 2012 19:11

Ampoliros wrote:
Robspierre wrote:Amp, I have the audiobook read by Jeremy Irons.....bloody guid read :text-bravo:

Rob



:shock:

Oh, you mean Lolita, lol I'll have to check it out.

:lol:

Jeremy Irons reading this shit... that would be weep-worthy. :shock:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Serkanner » 20 Jan 2012 19:17

SandChigger wrote:
Ampoliros wrote:
Robspierre wrote:Amp, I have the audiobook read by Jeremy Irons.....bloody guid read :text-bravo:

Rob



:shock:

Oh, you mean Lolita, lol I'll have to check it out.

:lol:

Jeremy Irons reading this shit... that would be weep-worthy. :shock:


Please guys ... do not ruin it for me. I love Lolita since I was a teenager.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Robspierre » 20 Jan 2012 22:11

I'll upload the files this weekend in da clubhouse for ya'll.

Rob

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Ampoliros » 23 Jan 2012 14:45

I just read a page detailing the Corrino brother's plans to investigate the Suk School for malpractice and fraud, but not before they had the Suk School send them a replacement personal physician, because the Suk School makes the best doctors.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Nekhrun » 23 Jan 2012 19:21

Ampoliros wrote:I just read a page detailing the Corrino brother's plans to investigate the Suk School for malpractice and fraud, but not before they had the Suk School send them a replacement personal physician, because the Suk School makes the best doctors.

Maybe the Duniverse needs tort reform to take care of frivolous lawsuits against those poor Suks.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandRider » 23 Jan 2012 21:19

I gotta call "bullshit" on that one ...
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Omphalos » 23 Jan 2012 23:06

SandRider wrote:I gotta call "bullshit" on that one ...


With two guys writing and passing massive PDFs around? Especially those chowder heads? Could totally happen.

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Robspierre » 24 Jan 2012 00:20

Omphalos wrote:
SandRider wrote:I gotta call "bullshit" on that one ...


With two guys writing and passing massive PDFs around? Especially those chowder heads? Could totally happen.



Not to mention them trying to be all sly and topical and shit. "Hey Steve! I just a made a lawyer joke! Really Bobo? Know what would be even better? If we made it current, you know like about that tort reform. People like that tort reform."

Rob
Last edited by Robspierre on 24 Jan 2012 00:21, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Omphalos » 24 Jan 2012 00:21

Omphalos wrote:
SandRider wrote:I gotta call "bullshit" on that one ...


With two guys writing and passing massive PDFs around? Especially those chowder heads? Could totally happen.


Let's just call this one "mistake #2".

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Ampoliros » 07 Feb 2012 00:04

Okay yeah, finally finished this turd.

Lets call it SPACE OPERA: NOWHERE.

As in that's where it goes.

Yeah, I know its part one of a trilogy, but this opener fully fits our good friends at Penny Arcade's analysis:

Image

I mean this book sets us up for book 3 which will practically have to be Deus Ex Machinas Of Dune.
As much as every subplot literally screams its solution, (although I must admit that I did not see the guy with a Greek name becoming the father of the Teen Titans...) rather than go nowhere, they actually go in the opposite direction of what you would expect. They want to call him "Ptolmey" but I trained my brain to read "Shithead" everytime I saw his name.

Emperor Salvatore is a spineless idiot. The majority of what goes wrong has to do with him being a spineless idiot with delusions of grandeur who caves to anyone who gives him and ounce of resistance. In fact, he stands up to one person: Vorian Atreides. Well kinda. He tells him to disappear so he won't overshadow how awesome the Emperor is.

His sister is a slutty retard, who is posed at the end of the book to become some kind of super mentat reverend mother awesome sauce. Gilbertus is all excited about introducing her to Santorum, presumably to merge them together. And we know Erasmus will have no problem with being in a woman's form.

The brother is portrayed as the "Smart One" who actually does all the dirty work and keeps everything running smoothly. Instead, he lets Salvatore get walked over by everyone rather than take up the mantle himself, which is what everyone wants him to do.

The Butlerians are portrayed as religious fanatics bent on smashing everything that even looks like tech. Apparently there is no law protecting innocent civilians from being murdered or having their property destroyed by these a-holes.

The CET is portrayed as a horrible idea that was hated by everyone in the galaxy, to the point where Salvatore has a team of experts re-write the book. Sound familiar?

It should, because every event that happens in this book tramples all over the history as laid down in Dune. Venport has NO reason to give up his position as private owner of the Pre-Guild, even though its obvious that they want it to evolve from his holdings. Imperial Conditioning gets tacked on to the Suk School in an effort to save its credibility.

Vorian's trip to Arrakis is totally full of shit. One, he was commanded by the Emperor to remove himself from public view and leave the planet he was on. He promises he will do this, then tells his wife he never promised that he wouldn't tell everyone where he was going.

Two: We'll play a game. Start with 5 Stars. Every time a character acts like a character from Dune, add a star. Every time they act like a character in a charlatan hack's fanfiction, take one away.

-the Terminator Twins find his wife and torture her before burning her alive.
-Griffin spends all of 30 seconds finding out where Vorian went, from Vorian's grieving daughter, at her mother's funeral.
-The work-gang leader tells Vorian he should never take a shield into the desert, makes him take it off and store it in his locker.
-The locker is on board the harvester.
-Vorian spends 5 days convincing the work crew he's competent to be a spotter, then misses the attack of the TT because he was daydreaming.
-The Twins found him so easily because? Yeah, you guessed it, he signed up for the harvester crew under the name Vorian Atreides.
-Vorian is rescued from the TT raid when a "Freemen" scout summons a worm and takes him to her sietch.
-the TT follow them, and kill half the sietch before being driven off.
- The scout, now in Arrakis City, runs into Griffin, and when he asks about Vorian, she kidnaps him and takes him to the sietch too.
-the Freemen decide that Vorian and Griffin are too much trouble, and imprison them. Griffin escapes, and steals water from the unattended water tank.
-Freemen send Vorian and the scout out to find Griffin in a spotter. they find him, land, and force him on board. the scout gets eaten by a worm, sacrificing herself so that Vorian and Griffin will get away.
-Vorian and Griffin return to the sietch "for matters of honor"
-The Freemen discuss "taking their water" but Vorian pays them off with his paycheck from the spice crew operation.
-The Freemen declare the blood feud needs to be solved, give them crysknifes, and force them to fight "to the death". They suggest they will probably take the water of the winner anyway.
-Vorian starts strong and asks Griffin if he yields. Freemen say nothing.
-Griffin rebounds, and has his knife at Vorian's throat, then declares the feud satisfied.
-The Freemen decide the two are more trouble than they are worth, and take them to the nearest weather monitoring station, so they can call for a pickup.
-The TT attack them at the Monitoring station, killing Griffin instantly.
-Vorian grieves for Griffin, then pays the apparently astronomical cost to have his dead body shipped back home.

Yeah, he survived the duel to the death only to die like a bitch in the very next scene. By my calculations, we end with -8 Stars.

So there you have it. Sisterhood of Dune isn't a zero-star book. Its a Negative star retard-a-thon.

EDIT: Fuck it, I'm going to put as much time into editing this review as they spent editing this book.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandChigger » 07 Feb 2012 13:17

Thanks for making the effort.

I haven't opened my copy since... the Cincinnati book signing? :lol:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Ampoliros » 07 Feb 2012 20:05

Yeah I literally had to force myself to finish.

I seriously don't understand how people enjoy these. I go on Goodreads and Amazon and see several 5 star reviews, and it just boggles my mind that people don't see the flaws in them. I've literally considered that there are two separate texts, and I consistently get the shit one. I don't want to crow like I'm some super genius, I'm not, which makes it that much more incomprehensible that people consider this "good". This isn't an attempt to be humorous or scathing, I really don't know how people read this and like it.

Then again, Taylor Swift wins grammys, and people actually think Adele is good. Perhaps its just a malaise of the current era, taking hold. The TV generation who thinks that something with a laugh track is actually funny.

If that's it, then it takes what we do and transforms it from a simple demand for standards and makes it into a noble quest to better humanity by adopting a no tolerance attitude for manufactured shit. These books go beyond impotence and hubris, they are offensive to me at the same level as slavery, rape, and bigotry. While this offense is a slow bleed compared to those deep wounds, they damage the human soul in the same way.

While some may find that comparison rather harsh, I'd remind them that we've already been humorously and flippantly compared to murderous theocrats that commit those same crimes.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Freakzilla » 07 Feb 2012 20:48

Harumph!
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandRider » 07 Feb 2012 21:32

IDK ... during the current "NYT Bestseller" drama, I took at gander at what was actually on the "Bestseller" list ...

all of them sounded like bullshit I would never even thumb thru @a bookstore ...
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby D Pope » 07 Feb 2012 21:45

Agreed, the list that showed s'hood also showed it less popular than Halo- the paperback.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby Freakzilla » 07 Feb 2012 21:50

If people even read at all these days they pretend they're intelligent. Hell, people pay for Bibles.
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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby SandChigger » 08 Feb 2012 03:09

Freakzilla wrote:If people even read at all these days they pretend they're intelligent. Hell, people pay for Bibles.

Oh fuck, don't get me started! :twisted:

:lol:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Amp's SoD Notes

Postby JustSomeGuy » 08 Feb 2012 18:50

I'd rather not pay for anything. Not that I have anything against the Bible...
I bring nothing to the table.


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