Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

I am {snot}faced drunk
I am sitting in the middle of a dustbowl with seven thousand dollars worth of cotton seed
being picked out of the ground and eaten by great-tailed grackles
175,000 acres burned in the Wildcat Fire last weekend, two thousand of them were mine
we got less than half the goddamn stupid as all fuck angus out before the sheriff of sterling county
who is not my friend and never has been my friend pulled his service revolver and made me get in the truck and leave
I have spent the last four or five hours being mindfucked in the amazon basement that ugly inbred
german pretender to a pretend throne wore a fucking irish guard uniform most likely only because the
brood mare likes "red" but the most important thing right now seems to be this

About the Author

Kevin J. Anderson has over 20 million books in print in 30 languages worldwide. He is the author of, among others, the X-FILES novels, GROUND ZERO and the JEDI ACADEMY trilogy of STAR WARS novels - the three bestselling SF novels of 1994. He has also co-written the international bestselling prequels to Frank Herbert's monumental DUNE series. He has won, or been nominated for, many awards including the Nebula Award and the Bram Stoker Award. Visit his website http://www.wordfire.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; The son of Frank Herbert (1920-86), Brian Herbert is a bestselling SF author in his own right. He has also written Dreamer of Dune, a comprehensive, Hugo Award-nominated biography of Frank Herbert.

this is going on the back of the next McDunie Episode
I'm loading the dogs in the truck as soon as I post this
and I am going to Boulder, Colorado, and I am going to
kick KEVIN J. ANDERSON in the nuts

and pee on him

Steel tips on the boots, I'm hoping.

Be sure to stop somewhere on the way and get a T-shirt with "They call me The Bear-Shaped Meteor" printed on it.

That way the prophecy shall be fulfilled!




(Caveat: While I basically disapprove of threats of physical violence against actual people, no matter how heinous their asshattery, the image of Anderson getting his tonsils replaced by his nads just tickled me too much not to applaud 'Rider's plan. Now, let us continue to pray for that hack-smiting ursine meteor! )

(Oh yeah: Only pee on him if he's not on fire. )

I'd still like to know what these so-called awards he's won are.

Kojiro wrote:I'd still like to know what these so-called awards he's won are.

The Buckeye Newshawk and the coveted Silver Sow awards. He's very big in Cincinnati.

Dayton, actually.

A few more growlers and pizza parties with his "friends" and he can be big anywhere. Like they are.

SandChigger wrote:Dayton, actually.

Those awards were won by Les Nessman on WKRP in Cincinnati.

Talk about trivia that even people in Cincinnati probably don't care about.

SandChigger wrote:

Talk about trivia that even people in Cincinnati probably don't care about.

You're just a meanie!

And here I thought I was just a hater...

I got that reference.

I did, too ....



As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly...

Edit: Dukester fail.

TheDukester wrote:"What does a yellow light mean?"

"Slow down."

"What ... does ... a ... yellow ... light ... mean?"

Taxi. Not WKRP. Rev. Jim.

Crap. Total fail.

That's weird; those shows don't even have a common actor or anything. I wonder how I got those wires crossed?

TheDukester wrote:Crap. Total fail.

That's weird; those shows don't even have a common actor or anything. I wonder how I got those wires crossed?

I'm sure they were both in syndication at the same time, and you came home from school day after day and watched three episodes of both all in a row.

I've been meaning to get back around to the OP here -
haven't yet and will not now, I wanted to break this thing down,
first into the two separate parts, tehKJA and The Other Guy,
then line by line, then as a whole piece - I don't think this is
an appropriate blurb, even for a McDune ...

BTW, the mention of WKRP in this thread caused me to look @the Hulu, and there it was -
I watched the first five episodes back to back ... like all the old stuff, some of the lines are
really painful to listen to, but some you immediately realize are "cultural icons", (like the Silver Sow)
(tossing turkeys out of a helicopter on Thanksgiving) - I'm still kind of shocked at the change in
American TeeVee ... the political and social topics handled so casually in early to mid 70s sitcoms
would not fucking fly today ...

not to mention all the nipples .... and I don't mean the Jennifer Aniston torso-plate with the shadow-throwing
rubber pokeys, I mean the real deal ... watch a random Charlie's Angels from the first two seasons ... or take
a gander at the obviously intentional Mackenzie Phillips' slips in the first season of One Day at a Time (not to
mention the awkward featuring of Bonnie's ass ...)

That's because we're raising a nation of easily lead pussies.

Everybody is special, sex is wrong and violence is idealized.