Re: Star Wars KJhAters from 2010
Posted: 06 Nov 2012 20:59
these belong in the "Everybody Hates Keith" thread ...
DUNE DISCUSSION FORUM FOR ORTHODOX HERBERTARIANS
http://www.jacurutu.com/
lotek wrote:they talk of Sadworms/
http://awesomescreenshot.com/053lh3y2c" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Damn I effin' knew there was a place for that.SandRider wrote:these belong in the "Everybody Hates Keith" thread ...
TyCobbsGlove wrote:Kevin J Anderson is a fucking hack. Are you done raping Frank Herbert's body, Kevin? Has
your tiny, withered cock pumped the last little glob of poisonous spooge into the Dune
universe? Go get fucked by a Portuguese man o' war.
El_Fez wrote:How the hell does this guy keep getting jobs? His Star Wars books were some of the worst
fan fiction I've ever had the misfortune to read and apparently he destroyed the Dune
franchise just as badly.
el Suprehombre wrote:I'm glad he finally moved onto something else he can't write.
Actually, Dave Wolverton and Timothy Zahn were the ones who had the main characters marry. In Wolverton's THE COURTSHIP OF PRINCESS LEIA, Leia married Han, and in Zahn's VISION OF THE FUTURE, Luke proposed to Mara Jade. Barbara Hambly nearly had Luke find love with the spirit of an older Jedi woman from the Clone Wars era who ended up possessing the body of his younger female student in CHILDREN OF THE JEDI, but then things didn't work out in KJA's DARKSABER, and finally just collapsed in Hambly's conclusion, THE PLANET OF TWILIGHT. I don't think Luke married until he was middle-aged, and he had a lot of near misses with other women in the expanded universe novels. I haven't catched up with it since, but I did find out that Luke's ex-girlfriend from a Dark Horse comic killed Mara, and he went Bronson on her. Lando tried to date Mara in the KJA books, but she didn't fall for the Lando charm. I don't recall Lando finding a lover yet.lotek wrote:My favourites :
Re: Let's list the ways Kevin J Anderson Ruined Star Wars
- Wasn´t he the "everyone should get married to each other!" guy?
- Darksaber was a plot idea that was impossible to make boring, and which was somehow made boring.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?527 ... -Star-Wars" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
3 Pandering Sluts
The good ones: Zahn Trilogy, Han Solo Trilogy, Bounty Hunter Wars, Cloak of Deception (an Episode I prequel by James Luceno), some of the grittier Clone Wars novels, and of course Han Solo Adventures.
Particularly awful: The Courtship of Princess Leia, Tatooine Ghost, Jedi Academy (and everything by Kevin J. Anderson *cough*), Black Fleet Crisis was SO FUCKING BORING, the Darth Bane books were super-disappointing, NJO and Legacy of the Force and good god anything by Karen Traviss.
This is hours and hours of my life I wish I had back.
olivier, as a comment, wrote: Friend, I had the same debut as you regarding Kevin J Anderson writing.
However, I quickly understood how low level this writing was.Later on, I
became an insane fan of Frank Herbert's Dune, and after reading fanatically
what he wrote, I had to put an eye in the prequel that where made by his
son, Bryan Herbert, and Kevin J Anderson. It was the moment where my
dislike for Kevin J Anderson grew to radiant hate.
<later>
Dune is, in my opinion, an intellectual monument,...
Kevin J Anderson took that, and turned it into shit by lowering the level
of writing, by making all those complicated characters into stupid and
shallow elements that actually could be caught in a poor development, by
adding robots to the story, by adding out-of-context sex scenes, by having
serious continuity problems that made those new Dunes feel more like bad
fan fiction than real new elements to the universe.
My hatred is rational.
Adastras wrote: "Hey, let's make ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Except this time, it's owned by the Hutts.
And it's in the shape of a lightsaber! Cept it's called the Darksaber! AWESOME"
God that book was bad. Holy shit.D Pope wrote:http://www.reddit.com/r/scifi/comments/ ... _any_good/
Adastras wrote: "Hey, let's make ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Except this time, it's owned by the Hutts.
And it's in the shape of a lightsaber! Cept it's called the Darksaber! AWESOME"
Haters gonna hate.georgiedenbro wrote:God that book was bad. Holy shit.D Pope wrote:http://www.reddit.com/r/scifi/comments/ ... _any_good/
Adastras wrote: "Hey, let's make ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Except this time, it's owned by the Hutts.
And it's in the shape of a lightsaber! Cept it's called the Darksaber! AWESOME"
Come to think of it, maybe Darksaber is a metaphor for impotence, or anti-climax. You got this big awesome laser weapon which has a badass name, and it turns out it can't fire at all, and gets smashed by asteroids. And, at the end of the book, Luke loses his girlfriend to the Dark Side, who was a student possessed by the spirit of a Clone Wars-era Jedi. It's the spirit who possesses the student he's in love with, not the student. Yeah, she loses her Force powers, and then left him to reclaim her powers again through the Dark Side, and she thought that would complicate their relationship.D Pope wrote:Haters gonna hate.georgiedenbro wrote:God that book was bad. Holy shit.D Pope wrote:http://www.reddit.com/r/scifi/comments/ ... _any_good/
Adastras wrote: "Hey, let's make ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Except this time, it's owned by the Hutts.
And it's in the shape of a lightsaber! Cept it's called the Darksaber! AWESOME"
If you didn't like the book, you shouldn't have read it.
<preeq argument>
Is that what that book was about? A giant (fully operational) death-star sized lightsaber that was manned by a bunch of giant slugs? That sounds pretty fucking stoopid. Way to go KJA.georgiedenbro wrote:God that book was bad. Holy shit.D Pope wrote:http://www.reddit.com/r/scifi/comments/ ... _any_good/
Adastras wrote: "Hey, let's make ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Except this time, it's owned by the Hutts.
And it's in the shape of a lightsaber! Cept it's called the Darksaber! AWESOME"
Well, not quite a lightsaber, and not quite the size of a Death Star. It's the Death Star's laser rebuilt, and it was called Darksaber just because it was lightsaber-shaped. Somehow, the Hutt villain got one of the Death Star's engineers to build it, because he wanted a Death Star of his own (I'm not quite sure what his motivation was, exactly). The engineer thought that building just the laser would be more practical, but he added the Darksaber name just because he knew his Hutt boss would love the sound of it. I recall the Hutt sounded extremely aroused by the name: KJA makes his villains very overeager and smarmy. (Come to think of it, the KJA's Hutt villain and KJA's Baron Harkonnen are very similar in their cartoonish overconfidence).Omphalos wrote:
Is that what that book was about? A giant (fully operational) death-star sized lightsaber that was manned by a bunch of giant slugs? That sounds pretty fucking stoopid. Way to go KJA.
If Darksaber were a giant lightsaber which could swing in space, than it would cut the asteroid in half (unless it was filled with explosive gas, or was made of incendiary minerals). Since Darksaber is just the Death Star's laser, than it would just explode it. Kenobi is dead anyway, so the Darksaber is not his problem. His ghost pretty much told Luke in Heir to the Empire that he was through with being his spectral guide, and set off permanently to the Jedi afterlife. Luke did try to contact him again in Darksaber by going to his old home and repeating Leia's memorable line: "Help me Obi-wan, you're my only hope." It didn't work.Omphalos wrote:Though it does make one wonder; if that lightsaber hit a planet Obi Wan Kenobi was on, would the planet disappear like Obi Wan did, or be cut in half like that guys arm in the bar on Tattoonie?
I, Jedi was Mike Stackpole as I recall. He was pretty decent for a Star Wars novelist I thought. I enjoyed some of his X-Wing novels back in the day.Ampoliros wrote:IIRC Darksaber was also rather ludicrious in that it claimed making the Super Star Destroyer almost bankrupted the Empire (not the Death Star...) but somehow the Hutt Cartel could easily afford building a Lightsaber-shaped Death Star Laser.
But then KJA is also the creator of the Ultra-invulnerable Sun Crusher which could blow up whole star systems! And when a young Jedi prospect who happened to be more powerful with the force than Luke Skywalker used it to take revenge by killing off an entire system of people, he:
1. Did not turn to the dark side
2. Got a slap on the wrist when he 'apologized'
I think the best part of KJA's Star Wars career is "I Jedi" where another author actually re-writes the 'Jedi Academy' trilogy from an outside perspective in order to fix it.
Also, that writer has their own fantasy cartography trilogy, and I have little doubt that KJA wrote his fantasy cartography series in a jealous rage.
The Hutts are loaded. It's just that most of them would spend it on Twi'lek dancers and Rancors rather than destructive weaponry. And the Darksaber was not intentionally made lightsaber shaped: it just resulted that way, being just the laser.Ampoliros wrote:IIRC Darksaber was also rather ludicrious in that it claimed making the Super Star Destroyer almost bankrupted the Empire (not the Death Star...) but somehow the Hutt Cartel could easily afford building a Lightsaber-shaped Death Star Laser.
It got destroyed, as well as its secrets. No more super awesome Sun Crusher anymore.Ampoliros wrote:But then KJA is also the creator of the Ultra-invulnerable Sun Crusher which could blow up whole star systems!
Yeah, Kyp Durron may have been a sucker, but Luke and the New Republic were bigger suckers for letting him off easy. That was something Corran Horn could not forgive about Luke in I, Jedi. Kyp ends up being a self-righteous ass in The New Jedi Order, when he thinks he's the most badass Jedi ever. The memory of getting trigger happy with the Sun Crusher should have taught him some humility.Ampoliros wrote:And when a young Jedi prospect who happened to be more powerful with the force than Luke Skywalker used it to take revenge by killing off an entire system of people, he:
1. Did not turn to the dark side
2. Got a slap on the wrist when he 'apologized'
Also, that writer has their own fantasy cartography trilogy, and I have little doubt that KJA wrote his fantasy cartography series in a jealous rage.[/quote]Ampoliros wrote:I think the best part of KJA's Star Wars career is "I Jedi" where another author actually re-writes the 'Jedi Academy' trilogy from an outside perspective in order to fix it.
I have one problem with that pic. Please remove Matt Groening's name from it lest Keith gets any ideas.lotek wrote:And his valiant captain, Zhack Brannigan