Everybody Hates Keith

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 20 Mar 2011 11:35

my imagination was ready to go back to the Seven Suns universe. (The hard part was creating an even bigger cosmic threat…I didn’t want the level of Spectacular to go down. I think I’ve got a very intriguing idea for the basic conflict, plus dozens of side stories and interesting characters.)


Bullshit Kev. The superweapon/race/ulltra-whatever-threat was what you thought of first, and since you can't write in Star Wars anymore you have to write in the Saggy Suns universe.

I'm surprised someone is letting you go there again.

I'll say it again, the perfect job for Keith would be writing 30 min cartoon series or tv shows. His best work so far imho was the Tales of the Jedi graphic novels, and that's because he had someone adding in all the parts he left out with a paintbrush, and couldn't repeat himself every other page.

Oh and I've studied Magical Realism and his writing is not in that genre. I'm betting he thinks magical realism is modern-day fantasy.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby D Pope » 20 Mar 2011 12:40

I figured the master of punctuality is running short of deadlines to meet and, having no other sandboxes, is forced to exceed his own super-ultra with what he hopes is mega-super-ultra. It must suck for him.

'US negotiations continue...'
Now there's an episode i'd like to see Sandrider do in 3-D!
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby lotek » 20 Mar 2011 13:18

or not :)
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby TheDukester » 20 Mar 2011 13:56

Bobo's little chapbook project will not shift more than 20 copies.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby SandChigger » 20 Mar 2011 19:05

Yeah. Sounds like a real mover, huh?

(Is this one Print On Demand, too? :laughing-rolling: )

Has anyone here read all of the S7S shit? :?
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Kojiro » 20 Mar 2011 19:11

SandChigger wrote:Yeah. Sounds like a real mover, huh?

(Is this one Print On Demand, too? :laughing-rolling: )

Has anyone here read all of the S7S shit? :?


I once saw all seven books in the store, but I don't think that counts.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby SandChigger » 20 Mar 2011 19:31

Well, not really. But I'd still go have myself checked for dangerous stupidity exposure (measured in kJa/h), if I were you. ;)

:lol:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 20 Mar 2011 21:43

I've read all the 1-star reviews for S7S, does that count?
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby D Pope » 20 Mar 2011 22:49

Reading and listening to interviews about it is as close as I ever want to get!
And i'd rather not do that again!
It's bad enough that I forced myself to read as much mcDune as I could, i've no plan to waste time on a book that I know will disappoint. Before coming here I really thought that I was the only one who saw nuDune was printed with shit. After so much time spent in pleasant contemplation of Dune, I was a mindless thing drawn to the hope of getting more of the same- untill Pole of Dude. Screw those guys for what they've done! Mc Dune has fucked with my life and they profited by it! No, I haven't read the sorry seven. I've read mcDune and i've read bits from other efforts and based on this, I feel offended by anyone who would call me prejudiced. Are you going to tell me that there's better shit on the other side of the pile? Yeah,i'm a hater! I'm a hater because I hate that shit! These greedy hacks take my money and piss all over one of the best things i've read and then call me a talifan for not liking it? If ever either of them had the potential to write something worthy, 14evin squandered it on making himself believe he was too cool to edit it.
Last edited by D Pope on 21 Mar 2011 08:03, edited 1 time in total.
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby SandChigger » 21 Mar 2011 03:09

D Pope wrote:nuDune was printed with shit.

Yeah, that's a revolutionary new process brought to you by

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It fixes the feces to the page in such a way that the stink emerges only in your mind as you read it. ;)
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby merkin muffley » 21 Mar 2011 22:51

SandChigger wrote:Like Water for Quarkslet?

How fucking original! And oh so clever! :roll:


For fucksakes. Like Water for Quarks Shitfuck. :roll:

it's not magic realism.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Hunchback Jack » 23 Mar 2011 18:17

SandChigger wrote:Has anyone here read all of the S7S shit? :?


Nope. Started reading the first one, and couldn't get into it. It was dire.

I'm surprised that the UK publishers jumped on this. Either KJA sells pretty well in the UK (hard to believe given the scathing reviews on AMazon), or UK publishers make higher margins and so can afford to publish books at lower print runs.

:think:

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 23 Mar 2011 19:00

I imagine it much more formulaic than that; remember we're talking about a book manufacturer here, not an author. They know they can reasonable make X off of a trilogy, with Y cost to produce, from a manufacturer guaranteed to deliver on time.

KJA is about as absolute as you can get to a Quantity over Quality equation. He'll hike the trilogy out in a few weeks, watch a couple token DVD's to edit, spend a weekend at the cabin for polish, and whammo, trilogy.

If we're lucky we might get a couple of twats about 'effete British editors'.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby D Pope » 24 Mar 2011 10:51

I doubt they jumped on it, Jack.
I'm betting that the publisher decided the best way to make him go away took the form of an insultingly low offer, which 14evin jumped on. I'll also bet that this option hasn't occured to the US publishers OR 14evin took the low offer to use as a barganing chip saying, 'see, the UK knows when they're on to something good!'
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Sev » 02 May 2011 08:05

One thing I've noticed recently on some of Keith's bio's is this quote:

Kevin's solo work has garnered wide critical acclaim; for example, Climbing Olympus was voted the best paperback SF novel of 1995 by Locus Magazine
.

Now Climbing Olympus is the only KJA I've read, apart from the House Trilogy, and it's O.K., nothing special but certainly better than McDune - but it certainly DID NOT get voted best SF novel of 1995 by Locus Magazine.

Evidence:

Image

Now, unless my eyes deceive me, Climbing Olympus is next to the number 24 - not the number 1

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 02 May 2011 11:55

Maybe it was the only Paperback on the list.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Sev » 02 May 2011 12:20

Didn't think of that at the time, who would be that bloody devious? :doh:

After checking, got down to #15 before I found one that was a paperback original - so he's still a blatant liar in my book.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby A Thing of Eternity » 02 May 2011 13:47

Wow, nicely done - we need to get that evidence in his face immediately.. somehow. Somewhere all his little followers can see it too.

What an absolute loser this guy is.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby SandChigger » 02 May 2011 13:58

Nice suck-suck 4-star "review" by KJASF brain-trust Pussstir DickPillle on that one on Amazon, from 2009:

As a kid, I always wondered what it would be like on Mars. This book gave me a good idea.

The storyline of a possible community on the red planet made me wonder again if it could happen in my lifetime.

This story moves quite well and deals with some human emotion as well as science. It even gives a miracle or two. I hope that Kevin J. Anderson revisits this story in the future.

I would recommend this one for all Sci-Fi fans.

Well, if there weren't a "miracle or two", it wouldn't be Anderson, no? :roll: This one from Michel sounds more accurate, based on what I've seen of The Hack's "work":
CO could have been much much better since the plot line is brilliant and the setting is sumptuous. It would have been enough to make Adins and Dvas genetically modified so that they were able to pass down their genes to their children to get a magnificent environment with three races, Adins, Dvas, and Humans, vying for controlling Mars. All those ingredients well blended could have made a prodigious epic, the magnitude of Dune, indeed. Alas KJA is not F. Herbert and a large part of the story is about the past of the protagonists, past spent on Earth. Remembrance poisons the story and ends up in weakening the plot. KJA had gold in his hands and changed it into... aluminium.

That's al-yoo-min-ee-um, mind you! :clap:

This from his Wikipedia page:

Awards

- Blindfold: 1996 preliminary Nebula Award nominee
- Resurrection Inc.: nominated for Bram Stoker Award
- Ground Zero: #1 on The Sunday Times best seller list and voted "Best Science Fiction Novel of 1995" by readers of SFX magazine
- Guinness World Record for "Largest Single Author Signing" (previously set by General Colin Powell and Howard Stern)
- Novels with Beason: nominated for the Nebula Award and the American Physical Society's "Forum" award
- Ruins: on the New York Times best seller list (The first X-Files novel to do so) and voted the "Best Science Fiction Novel of 1996"
- Young Jedi Knights Series: New York Times best sellers, winner of 1999 Golden Duck Award (middle grades) for excellence in science fiction.

Looks like we need some clean-up in Aisle Hack. :roll:

Getting in the Guinness book is an award? Which novels with Beason? Ruins was voted best in 1996 by ... whom?

I'm seeing one award (Golden Duck) and some fan-voted bests. Am I missing something? :think:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Serkanner » 02 May 2011 14:00

A Thing of Eternity wrote:Wow, nicely done - we need to get that evidence in his face immediately.. somehow. Somewhere all his little followers can see it too.

What an absolute loser this guy is.


I think right here is the right spot ... we know many visitors come to the Sietch.
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and wrote a Dune Novel."

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 02 May 2011 14:02

Yeah, you're missing an ego that considers "pretenders" not to count, so you can just bump your own books up to the top.

Show it to Conway. He's Dr. Numbers, maybe he can figure it out.
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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby D Pope » 02 May 2011 21:31

This Golden Duck thing needs to be put into perspective;
Eleanor Cameron Award for Middle Grades
Given for books written for grades 2 to 6.


Kudos for his actually winning an award but even 14evin thinks the 'Golden Duck' sounds better than this.
So first, his Jedi Knights book is intended for 7 to 12 year olds. Second, and i'm not sure how to put this delicately, his fellow Duck winners aren't exactly tearing up the genre.
Super-Con-Duck-Tivity, a non-profit (501(c)3) organization that is known for creating and administering the Golden Duck Awards, doesn't share much about how the winners are chosen. I can't find more than how they have a P.O. box & may or may not employ 10 to 19 people.

to summarize; he hit it big with a local Chicago parents group twelve years ago.

http://www.goldenduck.org/
http://www.duckon.org/GoldenDuck/MiddleGrades.html
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
-Omphalos

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby Ampoliros » 02 May 2011 22:41

D Pope wrote:This Golden Duck thing needs to be put into perspective;
Eleanor Cameron Award for Middle Grades
Given for books written for grades 2 to 6.


Kudos for his actually winning an award but even 14evin thinks the 'Golden Duck' sounds better than this.
So first, his Jedi Knights book is intended for 7 to 12 year olds. Second, and i'm not sure how to put this delicately, his fellow Duck winners aren't exactly tearing up the genre.
Super-Con-Duck-Tivity, a non-profit (501(c)3) organization that is known for creating and administering the Golden Duck Awards, doesn't share much about how the winners are chosen. I can't find more than how they have a P.O. box & may or may not employ 10 to 19 people.

to summarize; he hit it big with a local Chicago parents group twelve years ago.

http://www.goldenduck.org/
http://www.duckon.org/GoldenDuck/MiddleGrades.html


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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby SandChigger » 03 May 2011 05:58

:doh:

Well, we've been saying for a while that his books are written for ADDled teens... :shifty:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

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Re: Everybody Hates Keith

Postby TheDukester » 03 May 2011 13:06

Good research, Sev. Personally, I think the cookie machine should get started ... :whistle:

And Kevin J. Anderson is a flat-out liar. So add that to the list of his endearing features. What a tool.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.


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