Recent Dumbnovel Blog Post

    Abandon all sanity ye who enter here

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Mr. Teg
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Recent Dumbnovel Blog Post

Postby Mr. Teg » 16 Mar 2009 07:06

Image

The original blog caption posted under the picture:
Kevin and Rebecca...can you see the words
running through their heads?



:D
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Mr. Teg
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Postby Mr. Teg » 16 Mar 2009 07:34

Image
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Postby Schu » 16 Mar 2009 08:12

Kevin: I tolerate this woman because she does shit for me and puts my weiner in her mouth if I do the dishes.

Moesta: This smile is preserved in mylar and they occasionally spraypaint my hair to keep it from looking as dead as I am inside.

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Postby NotAbout » 16 Mar 2009 10:53

[quote="Mr. Teg"][/quote]

Flattering! I can see why they put it on the net.

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Postby SandChigger » 16 Mar 2009 11:48

So ... those rumors about George Lucas and Hillary Clinton were true. :shock:

(He's lost weight. She found it. Oh ... the humanity!)

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Postby SandRider » 16 Mar 2009 12:11

wow - could they be any more pale & pasty ?

for an "avid hiker", Keith sure looks like a tub of goo.
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Postby TheDukester » 16 Mar 2009 12:27

No kidding. What sort of sun-block does he use: like SPF 100?

I'm not sure how much of this "hiking" bullshit I'm even believing any more. Hiking is great exercise; it shouldn't turn you into Jabba's cousin.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

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Postby Tleszer » 16 Mar 2009 12:45

TheDukester wrote:No kidding. What sort of sun-block does he use: like SPF 100?

I'm not sure how much of this "hiking" bullshit I'm even believing any more. Hiking is great exercise; it shouldn't turn you into Jabba's cousin.


Hey! Don't mock Jabba's cousin like that. He's very sensitive about his weight.
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Postby GamePlayer » 16 Mar 2009 13:34

Photographer: Okay, lean a bit harder. That's it. Uh, Kevin, could you grin both your chins? Beautiful. Okay, smile!
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Postby Omphalos » 16 Mar 2009 13:52

TheDukester wrote:No kidding. What sort of sun-block does he use: like SPF 100?

I'm not sure how much of this "hiking" bullshit I'm even believing any more. Hiking is great exercise; it shouldn't turn you into Jabba's cousin.


I was just wondering how someone who is outside all the time is still so pasty white.

SandRider wrote:wow - could they be any more pale & pasty ?

for an "avid hiker", Keith sure looks like a tub of goo.


Ah! And Im not the only one! :D

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Postby Hunchback Jack » 16 Mar 2009 15:30

SandRider wrote:for an "avid hiker", Keith sure looks like a tub of goo.


:lol:

Yeah, I'm thinking he's using "hiking" to mean "sitting under a tree while I stream-of-consciousness into a digital recorder". Either that, or the "chapters" he dictates are mumbled keywords that get expanded by his "typist" later.

HBJ

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Postby Freakzilla » 16 Mar 2009 17:18

I've already got a tan from the kid's baseball practice and that was only like three hours.

He's full of shit.

Hiking... my ass.
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Postby Bijaz » 16 Mar 2009 19:13

Damn, talk about having a chip on their shoulder! :D
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Postby NotAbout » 16 Mar 2009 22:46

He can't help it if writing award winning books takes a lot out of his day, come on guys, I'm sure he'd be climbing Everest if he had the time.

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Postby Mr. Teg » 16 Mar 2009 23:22

NotAbout wrote:He can't help it if writing award winning books takes a lot out of his day, come on guys, I'm sure he'd be climbing Everest if he had the time.


Writing? That's for thinkers! :roll:
Kevin's a man of action! :roll:
He dicktates while hiking.
Everest...he does have Rebecca. :D
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Postby NotAbout » 16 Mar 2009 23:39

Everest...he does have Rebecca.

I think you may have stumbled on to the truth of his hikes there.

"And then the --ehhh-- Oracle of time --ehhh-- came down and killed the --ehhh-- evil robots and -ughhh-- Dun-ughh--can Idaho became the super ultimate form times 2 kwis-ahhhhhhhHHHhhhh--tz haderach""

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Postby SandChigger » 16 Mar 2009 23:51

Damn ... I was going to ask who Everest is. :P

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Postby Hunchback Jack » 19 Mar 2009 14:21

Latest post from KJA on Dumbnovels:

I've received quite a few letters from fans, especially collectors, wanting to reserve a hardcover first-edition of THE EDGE OF THE WORLD. This novel will come out initially as a trade-paperback, the large-format "classy looking" softcovers that are extremely common internationally.


Well, yes, they are common. But they are usually a consolation prize for authors who don't achieve the sales volume to merit a hardcover release.

Orbit Books, a division of worldwide Hachette Publishing Group, has converted their entire line to this format.

Well, not their entire line. Iain M. Banks, that critical darling, still seems to have his novels published by Orbit in hardcover, on both sides of the pond. I wonder how *that* happens?

Most of the DUNE novels and SEVEN SUNS novels are published in this format in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.


Well, yes, but the Dune novels are *also* published in hardcover in the UK. You're being a little deceptive there, KJA.

Let's be clear about this - a Dune novel merits a hardcover release. A KJA novel does not.

In the current economy, I'm sure most of you will appreciate saving $10-15 on the cover price. In a year, probably shortly before the release of Book 2, a standard-sized mass-market paperback will be released of THE EDGE OF THE WORLD.


I'm sure the publisher appreciates the lower production costs, too.

Orbit/Hachette Audio will be releasing an unabridged version of THE EDGE OF THE WORLD as a downloadable audio file, at around the same time the book is published.


I wonder if they just grab it off his digital recorder? :)

Meanwhile, today I spent the day out hiking in the Colorado mountains near the well-known Red Rocks amphitheater west of Denver. After being cooped up in the house for so long editing WINDS OF DUNE, my creative batteries were well charged, and I dictated six chapters in THE MAP OF ALL THINGS, the second Terra Incognita novel.


Fine chapters I'm sure they were, too.

One question, Keith ... WHERE'S the FUCKING DUNE CONTENT????

HBJ

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Postby GamePlayer » 19 Mar 2009 14:53

Hunchback Jack wrote:
Orbit Books, a division of worldwide Hachette Publishing Group, has converted their entire line to this format.

Well, not their entire line. Iain M. Banks, that critical darling, still seems to have his novels published by Orbit in hardcover, on both sides of the pond. I wonder how *that* happens?

HBJ


LOL :) Comedy gold.
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Postby TheDukester » 19 Mar 2009 15:37

Let's see here ...

* Terra Incoherent goes straight to TPB;

* The Other Guy's latest Timeweb thing is being published by a vanity press and has gone completely unnoticed;

* The publisher insists on a change of title for the new "Dune" book, desperately trying to distance it from the miserable sales of Pauline of Dune;

* And isn't there some hold-up or other snafu on the Dynamic Duo's Hellhole thing? I thought I read somewhere that it wouldn't have hard covers, either.

Oh, but you'll always have that fabulous Nebula anthology, Keith ... :)
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Postby Ampoliros » 19 Mar 2009 15:45

Isn't it enough that we make fun of his writing. Why do we have to tear down his personal life and make fun of the woman he loves?











Because he cheats on her every time he records himself hike-jerking into a rape-recorder and tries to sell it off as Dune thats why!

P.S. I really did mean to type tape-recorder, but I left it the way it is since I think it carries the emotional impact that we feel his writing affects Dune.

P.P.S. We live in a capitalist society Kev. Straight to TPB is basically one step up from straight to DVD. Save your blawg energy for when you have to explain why all your books go straight to Mass-Market. You know, like serial romance does.

p.p.p.s. Seriously, Kev, go back to comics and cartoons. I think their medium fits your style much much better. You might even get something published in Heavy Metal!
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Postby SandChigger » 19 Mar 2009 19:05

I don't know ... most of his blawgs have been so boring lately ... AND HAD SO LITTLE DUNE-RELATED CONTENT ... that I haven't even felt like bothering.

What was ByrByr's excuse for their letting Kevin post whatever shit he pleased again? Something about Kevin and Uncle BoBo now being the "Dune authors" and fans being interested in everything they are doing?

"Today while I was rubbing oil into Rebecca's gnarly corns I thought back to the time when she got a turd crossways and had to have emergency surgery to straighten it and I wrote a love poem while sitting in the crowded waiting room that perfectly expressed all my love and gratitude for her. That poem I have now reworked into the first song on our new Incontinent Terror CD...."

Gawd I hate that hack. :evil:

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Postby dunaddict » 19 Mar 2009 19:19

I don't blame the guy for promoting his own novels, but DON'T put it in a blog called DUNE-blog dammit!!!! And stop pimping that Saga of the Seven Cashcows on the dunenovels homepage. Remove it, or change the name of the site to 'www.KJA_and_sidekick.com'. :evil:

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Postby TheDukester » 19 Mar 2009 20:00

The "Bobo" thing cracks me up ... that's what we call our 4-month-old.

(his older brother can't say "brother" yet ... it sounds like "bobo" ... and, yes, that's the end of today's cute toddler story).
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Postby Sev » 19 Mar 2009 20:07

And why does it say 'Heroes of Dune' is a trilogy? Admittedly it would be oh-so-nice if the publishers quietly pulled the plug on #4 - "honestly Kev, the kids today only go for trilogies - I can't even pronounce tetrolurgy-whatisit?" - but the sad answer is more likely that the site admins are too fucking stupid to update it.