was the sharpest tool in the shed, even for a Yankee ....
I hope everybody has been well. Just a quick survey of who is attending or
at least considering the Reunion in Dallas, Texas, May 26th -
Please let me know, as I need to make a decision by the end of next week.
Thanks and I look forward to hearing back from you.
I'm pretty sure I'll have a civil war re-enactment that weekend, but I'll
show up just to see you ... I think the encampment that weekend is in
Temple, anyway ...
Thanks for getting back to me. Regarding your e-mail, does that mean you
will be there or not?
yeah, what I said - I'll show up to see you, but I doubt that I'll be interested in any of the
"activities" - and don't need a room reservation where-ever y'all are going to be - the
Civil War re-enactment at Temple is (relatively) just down the road from that swirling
sinkhole in North Central Texas (the bottomless vortex that sucks everything in and
spits it back out in Homogenized-American Ramen Noodle Packs and for a minute,
people are like : "Wait, what? Where am I? Is this Atlanta? Or Minneapolis/St. Paul ?
It's too humid to be Las Vegas .... Portland? Maine or Oregon?") - &for the love of
the little baby jesus, don't call it "The Metroplex" .... Janice says that every now
& then, and I say "Wait, what?", and she says (again): "The Metroplex"
and I squint my eyes and give her the Confused Black-Angus Cow Face,
& she sighs & says "DFW, you know what I mean, don't act like you don't know what I mean ..."
and I cock my head to one side & say : "You mean that swirling vortex over there by Arkansas,
where The Stockyards & TCU used to be? I thought we ceded all that to Little Rock when
Jerry bought the football team ... wait, now - you're actually going IN there ? goodlord, why?
well, alright, tie a rope around your foot, but I'm telling you now, you're gonna come out the
other side at the mall beside the Clinton Library ...."
I'm assuming y'all picked that spot for it's central location & the airport hub, and that's cool -
I wouldn't suggest trying to hold the reunion anywhere but right around the airport - all the rental
car lots are on the south side of the airport, the Irving Mall is just to the southeast (the airport &
metaphysical center of the Sinkhole That Swallowed Dallas & Made Fort Worth Cry is actually in
anyway, that little Freeway-Bounded haven of Good Christian White-folk has got more than enough
amenities - hotels and restaurants on the Freeway accesses, the Mall, and I think there's atleast
3 if not four golf courses in there - and I'm talking about the area just to the southwest of the airport,
sealed-off by 183 (Airport Freeway), 114 (Carpenter Freeway) and 161 (Bush Turnpike - toll road, go
anyway, that's just my thought - there is absolutely nothing left of Texas to see for a radius of about 75
miles from ground-zero (the airport) - so y'all might as well make it easy & safe and fly in and really, I
don't think rental cars would be all that necessary; pretty sure there's a shuttle from the airport to the
mall and all the hotels right there , and then you could get the rental car kids to bring you an armored
plated SUV .... let those people get the things over the freeways - then just stay in the enclave, leave
the rentals at the hotel, take the shuttle back - I don't care where you've been or what kind of traffic
you think you can drive in, you point a rental car up one of them freeway ramps, and we'll see you
next fall ... call when you get to Louisiana ... I've still got a cousin in a 1979 Ford Pickup with a camper
shell circling Arlington on the Tom Landry Freeway/I20 loop trying to get to the Cowboy/Green Bay
playoff game .... his wife sends money every month Western Union to the Shell Station in Kennedale ...
never had the heart to tell him he keeps missing the exit for Texas Stadium because they tore it down
and built a new one (he thinks it's some kind of MegaChurch and so keeps going round and round)
and that Tom Landry's been dead for ten years ....
now, I was thinking about the Mall and the 500 screen VR movie theater in there and all that if you're
going to have kids along ... also, the Hooters is just up Beltline, and everyone of the Franchise Restaurants,
and there is a little park out behind the Mall - but, if y'all really wanna go upscale and try to make the best
out of bad situation (entering and (hopefully) exiting The Cancer That Killed North Central Texas) you should
check out the Los Colinas area - it's still in the same Freeway-Protected UpperMiddleClass White Folk enclave,
to the east of the airport; sorta straddles the Carpenter Freeway (114) and butts up against what they named
"Lake Carolyn" - one of those "developed" lakes that sucks its water off the Trinity River - which is just on to
the east a little piece, running thru some swampy woods they can't develop without totally stopping the river;
this also serves as the natural barrier between Irving and the great unwashed horde of Soccer Moms and
Middle Management Dads on the other side of I35 in North Dallas, the Critical Mass of Middle-MiddleClass
White Folk (Baptist only, please) that stretches on up thru Richardson and Plano and McKinney, and going
north/northeast from there, you don't get back into "Texas" 'til about Van Alstyne or Trenton, where every
body's address is a four-digit Farm-to-Market Road; but by then you're damn near in Oklahoma, anyway ...
there ARE almost some historical points around Los Colinas, but only in that the little concrete
access path (jogging, rollerblading, looking at the river, because I'm pretty goddamn sure it's illegal
to fish anywhere around there) that runs between the Trinity River and Riverside Drive is (more or less)
part of the route of the "California Crossing" trail and the Bird's Fort Trail - where California Crossing
Road goes over the Trinity (and dead-ends into "Lake Carolyn") is surely not the point of the Trail that
used to cross the Trinity, as in the 1830s, when White Folk were pouring into Stephan F. Austin's
Tejas Province of the Republic of Mexico, the Elm fork of the Trinity either didn't exist, or was just
a ditch-like run off - the intersection with the West Fork of the Trinity didn't occur until after a huge
spring-time flood, some time in the 1870s - or maybe 1880s, I don't remember - somewhere around
there tho, because that was the flood that tore up Fort Richardson, over where Fort Worth used to
be ... before it got swallowed-up by thousands and thousands of little identical houses sitting right
next to each other ...
the Battle of Temple Junction that weekend is on the north side of Temple, Texas, alongside the
railroad & I35 - it's about 100 miles straight up the interstate the center of the sinkhole ... so depending
on the agenda, I could come up there any time you're there - if I do my normal routine, I'll get to
Temple Wednesday, or Thursday afternoon at the very latest, set up my camp and do the educational
programs for the schoolkids on Friday; the battle Saturday will be up and down the hill from mid-morning
until the hardcores run out of powder, but even without shooting, they'll be out in the woods all night,
on pickets and moving around and catching spies and hanging traitors; they'll start shooting sporadically
at each other at first light, the regular scripted battle will start around 9am and go a couple of hours -
the event will be "over" by noon on Sunday, but I usually stay on another night and leave out Monday
morning .... all depends on what's going on then, it's quite a ways off yet ....
and, since it is only 100 miles down the interstate, y'all could organize a van load and come see me
& watch 60 year old men try to unlimber and pivot a canon on a 45 degree sloping hill, get involved
in the on-going MoonShine War between Clem Hoot's Wife & the Commander of Cleburne's Division -
(and in-between taste-tests, as you're trying to make up your mind on which batch to vote for, you'll
have to clear your palette with Miss Lou Albrite's Strawberry Wine, which will just be ready from the
spring's first batch of berries for this event ...) watch me do my Surgeon Demo's, saw off arms and legs,
get covered in wet, sticky blood made from prickly pear cactus fruit (I just keep a bucketful of them under
the door I use for a table; grab one, squeeze, rub it all over everywhere and everybody) .... there should
be a Confederate Ball under a pavilion tent Saturday night .... girls in ball gowns and hoop skirts, men in
dress uniforms (white gloves required if you wish to dance) .... at one point during that, Doctor Burleson
and I will step up with the band and sing "Just Before the Battle, Mother" in harmony and with such
sweet, sad voices, there won't be a dry eye on the hill ...
Or we could go to Six Flags ...